geekmalone's definitions
Words added to a headline by a writer in a desperate attempt to lessen its incongruency with his or her political agenda
Mike (reading) DeSantis signs anti-vax mandate into law even as some supporters grumble.
Jen: I'm so sick of The Load these days.
Mike: The Load?
Jen: Yeah. The shit that journalists add to the headline like "even as some supporters grumble". There are no grumbling supporters. It's just shit that journalists add to headlines because the story doesn't fit their sad little socialist agenda.
Mike: Fox News does the same fucking thing!
Jen: So that makes it all okay?
Mike: Uh... No. So I guess you're right this time.
Jen: Now THAT is a fucking headline!
Jen: I'm so sick of The Load these days.
Mike: The Load?
Jen: Yeah. The shit that journalists add to the headline like "even as some supporters grumble". There are no grumbling supporters. It's just shit that journalists add to headlines because the story doesn't fit their sad little socialist agenda.
Mike: Fox News does the same fucking thing!
Jen: So that makes it all okay?
Mike: Uh... No. So I guess you're right this time.
Jen: Now THAT is a fucking headline!
by geekmalone November 18, 2021
Get the The Load mug.An absolute certainty of one's own righteousnous, even in the face of facts that show that it is horribly wrong.
Young Liberals during the Trump era have a Nazi Certainty about them. They're sure that their violence and anti-establishment behavior is getting them a brighter tomorrow. But like Hitler's Nazis, these stupid little people are only tools for destructive leaders who will dispense of them the minute they aren't useful anymore.
by geekmalone March 17, 2020
Get the Nazi Certainty mug.Strong indicator that you are dealing with an idiot. Pathetic people often use "I am offended" to gain power over others in conversations; with the intent that the other person will cower to them in order to make them feel not offended. However, the correct response to "offended" people is to thank them for confirming that they are an idiot, and move on.
by geekmalone June 24, 2020
Get the offended mug.The fuckheads at Urban Dictionary deleted 45 of my definitions because I have a different political perspective than them. A clear case of politihate.
by geekmalone September 14, 2022
Get the politihate mug.All of the subservient little morons in the media who deliver the DNC's message to the masses. The message, although usually destructive to the country, is delivered in a sing-songity "Aren't we glad we're all part of this" tone which drives its acceptance.
"The Winged Monkeys in the Media will say this is all normal and natural, you are only imagining higher prices for groceries, Ukraine is a democracy, and Trump is Hitler's lying taint."
--Scott Adams on X
--Scott Adams on X
by geekmalone July 1, 2024
Get the Winged Monkeys in the Media mug.Gates: I hereby call the September 2022 meeting of the Democrat Inner Circle Society "DICS" to order.
Buffett: Okay let's get down to business. Can we decide the winners of all elections in November 2022 like we did in 2020?
Gates: Uh... no.
Bezos: The state legislatures tripped us up in almost every state with new "Voter Integrity Laws".
Buffett: I'll be Goddamned if the citizens think they can choose their own representatives! We need a new scheme.
Fink: Sir? I have an idea... I've been thinking about it. Our main obstacle is poll watchers. They're watching for things like thumb drives and bins full of fake ballots. But poll watchers are humans, and humans need sleep after about 16 hours. We need to create a delay that pushes the vote processing out longer than 16 hours. Then we will have unmonitored power to choose the winners.
Buffett: I think I like it... But how will we delay the processing?
Fink: We tell the voters that there are equipment problems.
Buffett: So the voters stand there waiting to vote?
Fink: No. The voters will be allowed to vote, but we'll tell them that they need to put their ballots into "secure boxes" so they can be scanned later when the machines are working. Then after the poll watchers leave, we swap out the boxes of real ballots for boxes of fake ballots.
Buffett: I love it! Okay that's THE PLAN 2022! Well what the hell are we waiting for?
Buffett: Okay let's get down to business. Can we decide the winners of all elections in November 2022 like we did in 2020?
Gates: Uh... no.
Bezos: The state legislatures tripped us up in almost every state with new "Voter Integrity Laws".
Buffett: I'll be Goddamned if the citizens think they can choose their own representatives! We need a new scheme.
Fink: Sir? I have an idea... I've been thinking about it. Our main obstacle is poll watchers. They're watching for things like thumb drives and bins full of fake ballots. But poll watchers are humans, and humans need sleep after about 16 hours. We need to create a delay that pushes the vote processing out longer than 16 hours. Then we will have unmonitored power to choose the winners.
Buffett: I think I like it... But how will we delay the processing?
Fink: We tell the voters that there are equipment problems.
Buffett: So the voters stand there waiting to vote?
Fink: No. The voters will be allowed to vote, but we'll tell them that they need to put their ballots into "secure boxes" so they can be scanned later when the machines are working. Then after the poll watchers leave, we swap out the boxes of real ballots for boxes of fake ballots.
Buffett: I love it! Okay that's THE PLAN 2022! Well what the hell are we waiting for?
by geekmalone November 16, 2022
Get the THE PLAN 2022 mug.Mike: Let's take a selfie together in our new car.
Jen: Why? That's just weird.
Mike: Come on... We're just like the people in the brochure!
Jen: I've been meaning to talk to you about this.
Mike: What baby? We have a trendy apartment, great fashion sense, and now a new car.
Jen: I'm worried that you suffer from Getty Imagery.
Mike: That stock photo thing?
Jen: Yes. Our apartment sucks, you look like shit most of the time, and we'll be paying for that car for 7 years.
Mike: Yeah but the photo is the only thing that matters. I can post it on all my social media accounts.
Jen: Hmm.
Jen: Why? That's just weird.
Mike: Come on... We're just like the people in the brochure!
Jen: I've been meaning to talk to you about this.
Mike: What baby? We have a trendy apartment, great fashion sense, and now a new car.
Jen: I'm worried that you suffer from Getty Imagery.
Mike: That stock photo thing?
Jen: Yes. Our apartment sucks, you look like shit most of the time, and we'll be paying for that car for 7 years.
Mike: Yeah but the photo is the only thing that matters. I can post it on all my social media accounts.
Jen: Hmm.
by geekmalone June 4, 2024
Get the Getty Imagery mug.