geekmalone's definitions
Mike: Let's take a selfie together in our new car.
Jen: Why? That's just weird.
Mike: Come on... We're just like the people in the brochure!
Jen: I've been meaning to talk to you about this.
Mike: What baby? We have a trendy apartment, great fashion sense, and now a new car.
Jen: I'm worried that you suffer from Getty Imagery.
Mike: That stock photo thing?
Jen: Yes. Our apartment sucks, you look like shit most of the time, and we'll be paying for that car for 7 years.
Mike: Yeah but the photo is the only thing that matters. I can post it on all my social media accounts.
Jen: Hmm.
Jen: Why? That's just weird.
Mike: Come on... We're just like the people in the brochure!
Jen: I've been meaning to talk to you about this.
Mike: What baby? We have a trendy apartment, great fashion sense, and now a new car.
Jen: I'm worried that you suffer from Getty Imagery.
Mike: That stock photo thing?
Jen: Yes. Our apartment sucks, you look like shit most of the time, and we'll be paying for that car for 7 years.
Mike: Yeah but the photo is the only thing that matters. I can post it on all my social media accounts.
Jen: Hmm.
by geekmalone June 4, 2024
Get the Getty Imagerymug. Gates: I hereby call the September 2022 meeting of the Democrat Inner Circle Society "DICS" to order.
Buffett: Okay let's get down to business. Can we decide the winners of all elections in November 2022 like we did in 2020?
Gates: Uh... no.
Bezos: The state legislatures tripped us up in almost every state with new "Voter Integrity Laws".
Buffett: I'll be Goddamned if the citizens think they can choose their own representatives! We need a new scheme.
Fink: Sir? I have an idea... I've been thinking about it. Our main obstacle is poll watchers. They're watching for things like thumb drives and bins full of fake ballots. But poll watchers are humans, and humans need sleep after about 16 hours. We need to create a delay that pushes the vote processing out longer than 16 hours. Then we will have unmonitored power to choose the winners.
Buffett: I think I like it... But how will we delay the processing?
Fink: We tell the voters that there are equipment problems.
Buffett: So the voters stand there waiting to vote?
Fink: No. The voters will be allowed to vote, but we'll tell them that they need to put their ballots into "secure boxes" so they can be scanned later when the machines are working. Then after the poll watchers leave, we swap out the boxes of real ballots for boxes of fake ballots.
Buffett: I love it! Okay that's THE PLAN 2022! Well what the hell are we waiting for?
Buffett: Okay let's get down to business. Can we decide the winners of all elections in November 2022 like we did in 2020?
Gates: Uh... no.
Bezos: The state legislatures tripped us up in almost every state with new "Voter Integrity Laws".
Buffett: I'll be Goddamned if the citizens think they can choose their own representatives! We need a new scheme.
Fink: Sir? I have an idea... I've been thinking about it. Our main obstacle is poll watchers. They're watching for things like thumb drives and bins full of fake ballots. But poll watchers are humans, and humans need sleep after about 16 hours. We need to create a delay that pushes the vote processing out longer than 16 hours. Then we will have unmonitored power to choose the winners.
Buffett: I think I like it... But how will we delay the processing?
Fink: We tell the voters that there are equipment problems.
Buffett: So the voters stand there waiting to vote?
Fink: No. The voters will be allowed to vote, but we'll tell them that they need to put their ballots into "secure boxes" so they can be scanned later when the machines are working. Then after the poll watchers leave, we swap out the boxes of real ballots for boxes of fake ballots.
Buffett: I love it! Okay that's THE PLAN 2022! Well what the hell are we waiting for?
by geekmalone November 16, 2022
Get the THE PLAN 2022mug. Knowingly engaging in dishonest journalism with the belief that the effect of the dishonesty will outweigh the penalty from the dishonesty. Examples of Suicide Bomber Journalism include malicious editing of a piece and leaving material facts out of a piece.
Sixty Minutes engaged in Suicide Bomber Journalism in their interview of Governor Rick DeSantis. Their editing of the piece was quite malicious indeed. It's unlikely that their viewers will ever know or care.
by geekmalone April 8, 2021
Get the Suicide Bomber Journalismmug. Mike: Baby, we can finally buy that boat, and maybe even another car!
Jen: What have I told you about wasting our money on lotto tickets?
Mike: This isn't lotto. Down at the election board, we just received a $3M grant from The Center for Tech and Civic Life. Everybody is getting a big raise!
Jen: That's a Zuckerberg Grant...
Mike: The Twitter Guy? No this is a special organization for helping election boards. They provide free training and election administration.
Jen: Zuckerberg is the Facebook Guy. He's the money behind that organization. Aren't you suspicious about a billionaire buying his way into the election process?
Mike: Yeah maybe, but we're finally gonna get that boat we've wanted!
Jen: You wanted... That whole Zuckerberg Grant thing sounds totally fucking bogus to me.
Mike: Yeah but a new boat, Honey...
Jen: What have I told you about wasting our money on lotto tickets?
Mike: This isn't lotto. Down at the election board, we just received a $3M grant from The Center for Tech and Civic Life. Everybody is getting a big raise!
Jen: That's a Zuckerberg Grant...
Mike: The Twitter Guy? No this is a special organization for helping election boards. They provide free training and election administration.
Jen: Zuckerberg is the Facebook Guy. He's the money behind that organization. Aren't you suspicious about a billionaire buying his way into the election process?
Mike: Yeah maybe, but we're finally gonna get that boat we've wanted!
Jen: You wanted... That whole Zuckerberg Grant thing sounds totally fucking bogus to me.
Mike: Yeah but a new boat, Honey...
by geekmalone March 16, 2021
Get the Zuckerberg Grantmug. KNMM stands for Know Nothing Middle Manager. Seriously, who the fuck thought that having these idiots was a good idea?
by geekmalone June 26, 2020
Get the KNMMmug. by geekmalone September 15, 2020
Get the LMATGAFmug. An absolute certainty of one's own righteousnous, even in the face of facts that show that it is horribly wrong.
Young Liberals during the Trump era have a Nazi Certainty about them. They're sure that their violence and anti-establishment behavior is getting them a brighter tomorrow. But like Hitler's Nazis, these stupid little people are only tools for destructive leaders who will dispense of them the minute they aren't useful anymore.
by geekmalone March 17, 2020
Get the Nazi Certaintymug.