honneamise's definitions

COVAIDS-20

COVAIDS-20 is a new strain of the recently released COViD-19 disease, which was formulated by a monkey, bat and human threesome, which then had a baby, a ManBatMonkey. This ManBatMonkey was then summarily caught, caged, sold and slaughtered in a Chinese wet market, because they could. The resulting illness spread faster than anything before it, but it was much more lethal than COViD-19, as it instantly turned people who contracted the illness gay and they had a burning desire to cross breed with animals. There is no known cure, except this disease has only affected stupid people, so only about 80% of the worlds population will be affected by the disease

There goes hat guy with COVAIDS-20 and his conclave of animals the sick, dirty, horrible, sweaty mongoloid
If I contracted COVAIDS-20, I would kill myself, because I'd be gay AND into bestiality

by honneamise April 14, 2020

nah mate see ya

An exit interview strategy applied to employers who are mentally handicapped and require assistance understanding the basics of people management. While exiting a companies employ, you should employ the “Nah mate, see ya” as your exit interview strategy. A standard exit interview interaction would go along these lines:

Receptionist: “What are you doing here?”
You: “Dropping my stuff off”
Boss: “Can we have a chat please?”
You: “Nah mate, see ya”
Mic drop, exit front door

I gave my old boss a bit of the old “Nah mate see ya”
“Can we talk about this please?”, “Nah mate, see ya”

by honneamise September 5, 2021

beta key

The beta key is the one key to rule them all. It unlocks games like Dragon Ball D. It has powers beyond the power of a normal key, like your front door key. It can cure cancer. It can get you a blow job from a nerd in a dark alley. It can solve world peace. It can also unlock the nuclear codes from the United States and wipe out all of North Korea. But it primary purpose is for hanging shit on people who havent got the beta key. Because its so incredibly awesome and unlocks games like Dragon Ball D

How come you havent got a beta key? You suck!

Ive inserted the beta key and Im letting the nukes go now Don, which site was it again?

by honneamise October 29, 2018

joelstal

The process of going postal, but only due to the fact you are named Joel. if you are named Joel, and go postal, you go Joelstal. Normally, going postal is bad, but when you go Joelstal its mildly entertaining because its like watching flies have sex with shit. After they have been smashed in the head with a stubby and they have been beaten senseless by a Tibetan Monk who thinks that flies deserve to die. Essentially, when a Joelstal is encountered, you do not have to fear for your life, as no weapons will be used, because they would require skill, instead, merely point and laugh, because everyone thinks Joelstals are funny.

that guy has gone fucking Joelstal!!!

by honneamise October 23, 2018

if statement

An if statement is a programming construct that executes logic based on application purpose. many people claim programming is difficult, but as can be seen by this very simple example, variables, functions and if statements all make sense once applied to a layman's terms use.

DECLARE person_you_hate = <insert name of hated person>
DECLARE disability = <insert name of disability>

if ($person_you_hate = $disability) then
do send-to-gas-chamber
else
do commit-suicide
end if

function send-to-gas-chamber{
do grab $person_you_hate
then shove $person_you_hate
then close door
then turn knob
watch gas kill $person_you_hate
return happy()}

function commit-suicide{
do grab $person_you_hate
then humiliate $person_you_hate
then hand $person_you_hate noose
then force $person_you_hate onto wonky table
watch $person_you_hate die
return happy()}

Im going to use an if statement to settle this dispute
Dammit man, im an if statement, not a Star Trek character
If statement = stupid then

do kill-yourself-for-reading-this
else

do shoot-a-small-furry-animal-for-fun
end if

by honneamise December 4, 2018

adocd

The effect that happens to network and system administrators when they arrive at a workplace and find that someone with smuna or semen syndrome has been running the place. Inevitably DNS settings are incorrect and the offenders should be jailed, beaten by random inmates with a grudge against nerds and they should then be infected with intentional food poisoning. All people who cause ADOCD should be shot.

My ADOCD went mad as after I started looking at yet another DC with the wrong settings
If I find one more network that sets off my ADOCD, I'm going to go Joelstal on their arse

by honneamise July 21, 2020

spreading the data

Spreading The Data or STD, as per the Acronym App is a method of ensuring that data stored on a network of servers, is not logically stored, but rather spread around for redundancy. The main issue with spreading the data, or STD, is that it does not usually involve spreading the data in replicated format, but rather random chunks of data, meaning in the event of failure, it means you lose some data, but not all the data. This is a technique employed by IT technicians with smuna. It invariably leads to hair loss, high stress levels and in severe cases, yelling at technicians for being stupid. If you encounter STD, report it to the relevant authorities and then hunt down the person doing it and kill them immediately.

The configs are everywhere, they must have been spreading the data

by honneamise April 13, 2021