honneamise's definitions

stupiditis

A serious illness contracted by those of the world with an inability to add up numbers without reverting to completely ridiculous attempts at mathematics. It has become apparent that Stupiditis is spreading and the world is covered in sufferers of this illness and they should all be put down like the mentally challenged sad bags they are.

That guy has Stupiditis
Pretty sure 2+2 is still 4, damn your Stupiditis is bad
How come when you open your mouth, it sounds like Stupiditis is coming out?

by honneamise November 26, 2018

intentional food poisoning

The process of entering a dodgy eatery and deliberately ingesting food that has clearly been contaminated by being spat on, having flies sit on the meat for extended periods of time and being left in a bain-marie for the better part of a week. It would be less painful eating rotten road kill from the center of the desert, infected with Malaria. The specific reason for doing this to yourself, and causing all this pain to oneself, is to simply get out of work. Bosses the world over hear many excuses from their employees, but intentional food poisoning, is the number one cause of "employee away on Monday again" disease. Employees suffering from this illness should be taken from their place of residence and shipped to a small island inhabited by cannibals and eaten so they understand what it feels like to give someone intentional food poisoning.

Not in again today? Intentional food poisoning again is it?
Did you hear about <insert hated workmate name here>? He gave him/herself intentional food poisoning
Intentional food poisoning is the number one cause of diabetes in fat cunts who dont want to work
If you think you have intentional food poisoning, then you should be dragged out and molested by a rabid pack of panthers on heat.

by honneamise December 2, 2018

smuna

An adverb describing the increase physical displeasure at having a disease that is second only to Anaphalycticatardicon in its increasingly dangerous effects. Having smuna is a terrible afflication and people with the illness often appear ill, weak, pale and ghostly. Sort of like ryan sucks but worse. The only known cases of smuna have been discovered in a small town west of Melbourne, Australia. it is there that smuna has its roots. smuna frequently gets expanded to:
Super
Mega
Ultra
Nuclear
AIDS

Hey look at that bloke with smuna
Smuna makes the world horrible
I wish that guy with smuna would die
If I wanted a disease to be cool, it would definitely NOT be smuna

by honneamise December 3, 2018

if statement

An if statement is a programming construct that executes logic based on application purpose. many people claim programming is difficult, but as can be seen by this very simple example, variables, functions and if statements all make sense once applied to a layman's terms use.

DECLARE person_you_hate = <insert name of hated person>
DECLARE disability = <insert name of disability>

if ($person_you_hate = $disability) then
do send-to-gas-chamber
else
do commit-suicide
end if

function send-to-gas-chamber{
do grab $person_you_hate
then shove $person_you_hate
then close door
then turn knob
watch gas kill $person_you_hate
return happy()}

function commit-suicide{
do grab $person_you_hate
then humiliate $person_you_hate
then hand $person_you_hate noose
then force $person_you_hate onto wonky table
watch $person_you_hate die
return happy()}

Im going to use an if statement to settle this dispute
Dammit man, im an if statement, not a Star Trek character
If statement = stupid then

do kill-yourself-for-reading-this
else

do shoot-a-small-furry-animal-for-fun
end if

by honneamise December 4, 2018

semen syndrome

As has been scientifically proven in the past, semen is good for you. Unfortunately, like all things, it must be taken in moderation. An overloading of the system can cause semen syndrome. Usual symptoms include being skinny, having large intake valves (mouth, nose, ears), irritability, occasional 'colds' (pretending to be sick for normal people) and a general bad nature about their person. Semen syndrome can be treated very easily by not sucking off homeless guys for money and taking dicks in the arse from strangers.

You know {insert name} who is always sick? I think he has semen syndrome

Patient: What is it doc?
Doctor: You have semen syndrome, its written all over your lips

by honneamise October 10, 2018

retarded semen syndrome

A rare off shoot from semen syndrome where the sufferer has in fact become mentally handicapped from sucking too much dick and swallowing loads of cum that comes from retarded people. these retarded people are in fact not as retarded as the cummee anymore, due to the volume of cum the cummee has swallowed and the levels of retardation the cummee has now obtained.

That dude has retarded semen syndrome
Wow what a spaz, i reckon he has retarded semen syndrome
Its rare that i see someone worse of than you mate, but that bloke over there, with retarded semen syndrome, hes fucked.

by honneamise October 23, 2018

joelstal

The process of going postal, but only due to the fact you are named Joel. if you are named Joel, and go postal, you go Joelstal. Normally, going postal is bad, but when you go Joelstal its mildly entertaining because its like watching flies have sex with shit. After they have been smashed in the head with a stubby and they have been beaten senseless by a Tibetan Monk who thinks that flies deserve to die. Essentially, when a Joelstal is encountered, you do not have to fear for your life, as no weapons will be used, because they would require skill, instead, merely point and laugh, because everyone thinks Joelstals are funny.

that guy has gone fucking Joelstal!!!

by honneamise October 23, 2018