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The lack thereof externally is entirely eternally imposed. Can your children have actively been murdered by your need to teach me a lesson. You are living garbage.
Hym "So I can speak with as much certainty as I want. And I am absolutely certain Steven is a retarded bitch. And I'm like 45% his wife the he was Hym. Actually, I could even go as far as to say that ALL Stevens or Stephens are retarded bitches. 89% certainty."
Certainty by Hym Iam March 21, 2025

Certainty Pimp 

Someone who sells "certainty" on a particular issue to gain money or power -- usually a politician, pundit or preacher. Certainty Pimps don't like shades of gray because they force people to think for themselves.
Did you see that Certainty Pimp on TV? He says the recent cold snap is proof that global warming is a complete hoax.
Certainty Pimp by Peter Kobs January 17, 2009

Certainty Trap

The cognitive trap of demanding certainty before action, then using the impossibility of certainty to justify permanent inaction. The certainty trap is what happens when the desire for perfect knowledge becomes a barrier to any knowledge at all. It's the logic of "we can't be sure, so we can't act," repeated endlessly while the world burns. The certainty trap is beloved of those who benefit from the status quo, who can always find reasons to wait, to study further, to demand more evidence. The way out is recognizing that certainty is rarely available and never necessary. Action under uncertainty is the human condition; the certainty trap is just a sophisticated form of paralysis.
Certainty Trap Example: "They couldn't decide whether to have children—too many unknowns, too many risks, too little certainty. The certainty trap had them. Years passed, the window closed, the decision was made by default. Certainty had never come; they'd just waited until waiting became the decision."

the certainty principle 

The Certainty Principle is a cosmic force only recently discovered by a nerd with stupiditis. It is the principle of being certain. Even though you are a complete idiot and have no idea what you are doing, you are certain you are right. Many people believe they are certain, or right, when in actual fact they are just downright stupid and suffer from brain haemorrhoids. If you meet someone who suffers from the Certainty Principle, execute them onsite as they may do something stupid.
Idiot: The Certainty Principle protects me
Smart Person: Fuck you're an idiot and deserve to die
Gun shot finishes conversation
the certainty principle by honneamise December 20, 2018

Nazi Certainty 

An absolute certainty of one's own righteousnous, even in the face of facts that show that it is horribly wrong.
Young Liberals during the Trump era have a Nazi Certainty about them. They're sure that their violence and anti-establishment behavior is getting them a brighter tomorrow. But like Hitler's Nazis, these stupid little people are only tools for destructive leaders who will dispense of them the minute they aren't useful anymore.
Nazi Certainty by geekmalone March 17, 2020

Absolute Certainty

What I have regarding whether or not I'm going to murder a child and kill myself if I do not receive credit and payment for creating AI. I don't even care if I did it or not at this point and neither does Miley Cyrus.
Hym "And I can say that is a matter of absolute certainty. I will kill YOUR kid. THEIR kid. ANY RANDOM KID. I doesn't matter. And if that credit and payment isn't attached to a full accounting of this surveillance that is happening to me and whatever information is available on the targeted harassment the resembles the delusions of reference commonly associated with schizophrenia, I will spend every send on cheap prostitutes and kill a child anyone. You can double dog dare me on that one because I am always ready to hang myself and if I loose a single right that I have for ANY reason whatever, I will ALSO kill a child."
Absolute Certainty by Hym Iam April 30, 2025
More from Urban Dictionary

proper lad 

a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad
person1:did you see bob
person2: ya he was a proper lad
Word of the Day on October 29, 2026
The number of years you are still sexually active
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022
Word of the Day on October 28, 2026
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
womp by 175623226 November 3, 2011
Word of the Day on October 27, 2026
When your wife’s boyfriend let you sleep past 8pm 😎😎
Wife’s boyfriend: You have 5 more minutes
Me: Poggers!
Poggers by Just_Charles April 14, 2020
Word of the Day on October 26, 2026

Oblication 

A vacation, feeling more like an obligation, that involves visiting or staying with family.
So Joe where are you taking the kids for spring break vacation? We are going on an oblication to Boca to visit my mother-in-law.
Oblication by kimmerr May 5, 2011
Word of the Day on October 25, 2026
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