Skip to main content

Cat Willy 

British, informal.

A childish or jocular but ultimately endearing term for someone who has a human penis matching that of a cat.

Typically, it is expected that in this instance the human possesses a penis that is small, with little impact on the world or the underwear it occupies. See also "Cat Cock"
"Alright Cat Willy?! What are you up to you fucking small-dicked little wanker?"
Cat Willy mug front
Get the Cat Willy mug.
See more merch

I will shoot your fucking cat 

Definition 1: When a random human happens to magically appear in your house and fucks your cat and shits in its kitty litter.
Definition 2: Shooting and/or shanking one's cat, this is the most disrespectful thing you can possibly do to a person (other than ripping off their dick).
Definition 3: Taking a shit in many kitty litters and causing an uproar between cats and humans, resulting in the worlds end.
Human 1: I can't believe that you shit in my cat's kitty litter!
Human 2: I took a BIG FAT SHIT on your cat's kitty litter, deal with it.
Cat: Dafuq we talkin about again? Some douchebag came and shat in my kitty litter
Human 2: *Pulls out gun*. I WILL SHOOT YOUR FUCKING CAT!
Cat : Oh shit...
Human 1: *Screams in horror, is then shot along with his cat*

When the cat is away, the mice will come out and play

An expression referring to a married couple having sex while their kid is at a friend's house, or at school, or a sleepover, etc.
Fish: Dude what happened?

Mike: I walked in on my parents having sex and my mom looked at me and said, "When the cat is away, the mice will come out and play."

will unclog a toilet and clean up cat-puke 

One of the "prime" features that any sensible-minded gal --- especially one with one or more furry feline companions --- secretly jopes to see in a guy's "about me" details when perusing the personals ads.
Ladies, if a dude whom you're dating treats you respectfully and is a cheerful-natured helper and therefore "will unclog a toilet and clean up cat-puke" without grumbling or without even being asked to do it, hang onto him for dear life --- he's d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y a "keeper", hands down!

When the cat is away the mice will play 

An idiom used when people (mostly kids) mess around and sometimes abuse their leeway when someone in authority is not around. Used to describe disobedient people, like kids.
Person 1: Have you seen the kids in the classroom? Person 2: Yeah, the teacher ain't around and they're abusing their leeway. Person 1: Well that's a problem. When the cat is away the mice will play anyway.