calendario 

A calendar, a tool made of paper used to know what day, month and year you are in, because you are so weeb and geeky that you don't even know what fucking day it is, silly.

Wena weon, sabes qué día es hoy? (Hi dude, do you know what day it is today?)
Déjame revisar en mi calendario... Hoy es 11 de enero. (Let me check my calendar... Today is January 11th.)
Chupalo entonces ajddajfjkaajff.
(Suck it then hahahhhahahaha.)

calendario by Jueves September 8, 2021

Calendario 

A nibba who will change his number when he finds out you're pregnant with his twins.

"Calendario changed his number on you? I'll clothes hang that mf." - Tones and Marcelo and Capers and Sugarmomma Heat and Trey

Calendario by kcsknowsbest February 7, 2022

The Calendar Option 

A technique of temporarily “saving face” with colleagues, bosses, customers, and auditors by changing every calendar and clock in a particular workplace in an effort to cover up a missed deadline. “The Calendar Option” is the “Nuclear Option” of work place fault misdirection. “The Calendar Option” should only be used when the monumental task of changing dozens of calendars, clocks, and watches pales in comparison to actually completing ones assigned task on time. Hacking of local computer and cellular networks is usually preferred, as these sources represent the primary ways of determining dates and times. “The Calendar Option” will buy you enough time to prepare a resume, write a cover page, and apply for other jobs in the timespan prior to your superiors realizing you’ve elegantly gamed them to death. Worried about future employment? Don’t! One who can successfully employ “The Calendar Option” is often far under-employed anyway. This fact is clearly demonstrated as the time, energy, intelligence and sheer skill required to pull off the maneuver could be accomplished by no less than an American, tier 1, Special Forces operator who is also a Ninja.

Are you late? Can’t blame a colleague? Can’t blame your computer? Can’t blame the weather? Don’t even bother! Just employ “The Calendar Option” and you won’t need to blame a thing because the calendar and clocks say “you’re not late!”

late nuclear option option ninja bad employee blame

The Calendar Option by Darren Besert January 21, 2016

Calendar Shopping 

Those times when you buy a new Calander before New Years. This is usually done a day or two after Christmas.

Person 1: Hey lets go Calendar Shopping. I need to get a new Calander before New Years.

Person 2: Aight. I'm gonna get me one of those FHM calandars.

Calendar Shopping by Dancing with Fire December 29, 2010

calendar dump 

When you ring in the New Year on the toilet with one final dump, cleansing yourself from the old and welcoming the new. Starts on December 31st shortly before midnight.

The ball drops in 10 minutes..I've still got time to squeeze out a calendar dump.

calendar dump by C-Lo Brown May 4, 2017

NNN Calendar 

The NNN Calendar is a calendar revolving around NNN.

-Jizz January
-No Finger February
-Massive Masturbate March
-Ass Eating April
-Gay May
-Make It Jelly June
-Even More Jizz July
-Mass Ass August
-Semen Shooter September
-Orgi October
-No Nut November
-Destroy Dick December

"Are you attempting the NNN Calendar"

"Heck Yeah, my dick is going to suffer so much"

NNN Calendar by SpikeyFluffBall November 7, 2019