Assfirmations 

noun (as-fer-may-shuns); any negative or derogatory comment made in reference to those below you on the food chain. Any comment that those sad fucks make to try to avoid overdosing on Xanax.

Assfirmations of the day: I love myself! (even though I don't). I am beautiful! (even though I'm an ugly fuck).

Assfirmations by Jenbum & D-dogg October 15, 2008

affirmations

n.

Statements an individual repeats in order to change their perception or beliefs, usually about their self.

In the old SNL sketch, "Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley", he would look in the mirror and say, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."

affirmations by NeverGonnaGetIt69 July 16, 2021

Assfirmation 

When someone farts and looks around to get affirmation that others experienced the gas.

Eric farted a quality silent puff of gas and looked around for assfirmation.

Assfirmation by ERIC Jenson March 3, 2014

asspirations 

(n.) Refers to two different posterior-related subjects:
1. Motivated dreams/hopes of being permitted sexual access to someone's behind (i.e., "given ass")
2. Farts (i.e., “anal respirations”).

One should note that such bodily expulsions (especially if they are excessively loud/odiferous) as mentioned in Definition 2 may very likely have a direct and dramatic "dampening effect" on the intensity of the desirous thoughts/feelings described in Definition 1. Nothing turns off someone of either gender more quickly/dramatically than a humongous load of sulphur-flavored methane ejected at close range. This instantaneous negative reaction can either be an enormously vexing problem or an incredibly useful tool, depending on the circumstances and the wishes/intent of the wind-breaker. On the one hand, for example, if someone is trying to cause his/her romantic partner to feel happy and comfortable about bodily-sharing, he will want to make the experience as pleasant/peaceful as possible, and so any carelessly-released bubble of gas would definitely be inadvisable. If, however, one of the "lovers" is having serious doubts about the compatibility/advisability of the romantic union, his "letting one rip" can be a powerful strategy to cause the other person to quickly lose interest and flee, without either individual's actually saying anything to discourage further lovemaking.

Baked-bean-loving dude: I have **great asspirations** every time I see a chick with a cute round bum, but then I always drive her away with my **bodily asspirations** that invariably seem to pop out right when we're in the middle of humpin'.

asspirations by QuacksO January 14, 2015