A Real Man

A man that does not wear a shirt. When ordering food from a local restaurant they will order a meal that is capable of feeding no less than 50 people, paid in full by another person who will never taste this epic meal. The meal will only be eaten in locations deemed manly enough for consumption. Areas may include municipal gazebos or the top or oil tanks.

If ever faced with a possible encounter with law enforcement a real man will immediately seek out the nearest barbed wire fence and position themselves on the top in an owl position facing the barbed wire. Once law enforcement is within eye contact distance the real man will drop their shirtless body from the fence making no effort to avoid or protect themselves from the adjoining barbed wire.

If ever questioned about the resulting and extensive damage to their shirtless body the real man will default to blaming a friend or co-workers cat, falsely calming it is a savage.

A real man always communicates via epic quotes.
1.) A Real Man: “Real Men Don’t wear shits anyway!”

Audience: *Silence* as everyone takes off their shirts

2.) A Real Man: “I’m not getting caught by no fucking cops for eating Mary Browns on top of the oil tanks with no shirt

on!”

Audience: *forever traumatized by barbed wire fences*
by Chicken Oil Fence December 12, 2018
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Real Man

According to women, a real man is a man that contains a seemingly infinite amount of qualities which they desire, ranging from having money, to being affectionate, kind, good father, faithful, muscular, tall, dark, & handsome, etc. However, when you look up the word real you get the definition genuine and when you look up man you get the definition adult male, so in actuality, when you combine the two words, the definition of a real man is a genuine adult male.
Tom is a real man, he takes care of his family like he's supposed to.
by @_tatt3d January 21, 2014
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Real Man

A Real Man is the complete opposite to a Dry Arse . If you want to be a real man then you need to be like Lee Booker
Her : You're not a real man wanting a beer midweek, you're a dry arse

Him : But I've been working like 85 hours this week and I want to wind down
Her : I'm going to get me a Real Man
Him : like who Babe ???
Her : like Lee Booker, he's a Real Man not a dry arse like you !!!
by BruceyF April 09, 2022
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A real man

A "real man" is the what you young folk might call old-fashioned. Chivalry is not dead! A real man has manners, is polite, and considerate. He is honest and open and true to himself. He will fight for and defend the people that he loves. He is a hard-worker. He is not spiteful. He respects women and shows appreciation for all of his blessings. A real man is the provider of the family. He is strong, physically and mentally, and is never too proud to exhibit strong emotion. Once committed, he is faithful to only her. He does not watch porn or disrespect her in any other way. He helps with housework and is a role model for his children. A real man knows who he is, what he wants, and is grateful for what he has.
If you are 25 and living in your parents basement you are not a real man.
by Minx0003 December 11, 2009
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Real Man

A Real Man

The thing that makes a man a man, is courage.

Not just the courage to fight, but the courage to fight for what is right.

A real man has the strength to admit to, who and what he is.

A real man doesn’t run from his feelings.

A real man isn’t afraid to love.

A real man takes, but also gives.

A real man defends the people he cares about.

A real man doesn’t abandon a friend.

A real man says nothing behind your back, that he won’t say to your face.

A real man doesn’t live a lie, he lives the truth.
The man that is honest, brave and caring is a real man.
by asisee November 19, 2012
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Real Man

The insult women use when they want to bring down a guy enough to get him to do whatever she wants.

Aside from that fact that there is no definitive image of a "real man" (and no, women's delusions do not count), there's also the fact that nobody ever ask if SHE was a "real woman".
Woman: What? That guy stepped on my toes and you won't defend my honor? What kind of a man are you? I thought I married a REAL man?

Man: Oh yeah? And what kind of a fucking woman are you? You never seem to ever care whenever you ask me to fight some guy TWICE MY FUCKING SIZE over something as shitty as stepping on your toes. I thought I married a REAL woman?
by BusinessMan May 17, 2005
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A real man

Someone who holds his oaths and morals. He has dignity, but not arrogant. Faithful till his death to all his beloved. Someone who keeps his promises and treat people kindly. Gentle, patient and kind. Most of all responsible for is actions and words.
A real man is an owner of all noble traits.
by wisdomofyouth August 15, 2019
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