1 definition by Chicken Oil Fence
A man that does not wear a shirt. When ordering food from a local restaurant they will order a meal that is capable of feeding no less than 50 people, paid in full by another person who will never taste this epic meal. The meal will only be eaten in locations deemed manly enough for consumption. Areas may include municipal gazebos or the top or oil tanks.
If ever faced with a possible encounter with law enforcement a real man will immediately seek out the nearest barbed wire fence and position themselves on the top in an owl position facing the barbed wire. Once law enforcement is within eye contact distance the real man will drop their shirtless body from the fence making no effort to avoid or protect themselves from the adjoining barbed wire.
If ever questioned about the resulting and extensive damage to their shirtless body the real man will default to blaming a friend or co-workers cat, falsely calming it is a savage.
A real man always communicates via epic quotes.
If ever faced with a possible encounter with law enforcement a real man will immediately seek out the nearest barbed wire fence and position themselves on the top in an owl position facing the barbed wire. Once law enforcement is within eye contact distance the real man will drop their shirtless body from the fence making no effort to avoid or protect themselves from the adjoining barbed wire.
If ever questioned about the resulting and extensive damage to their shirtless body the real man will default to blaming a friend or co-workers cat, falsely calming it is a savage.
A real man always communicates via epic quotes.
1.) A Real Man: “Real Men Don’t wear shits anyway!”
Audience: *Silence* as everyone takes off their shirts
2.) A Real Man: “I’m not getting caught by no fucking cops for eating Mary Browns on top of the oil tanks with no shirt
on!”
Audience: *forever traumatized by barbed wire fences*
Audience: *Silence* as everyone takes off their shirts
2.) A Real Man: “I’m not getting caught by no fucking cops for eating Mary Browns on top of the oil tanks with no shirt
on!”
Audience: *forever traumatized by barbed wire fences*
by Chicken Oil Fence December 12, 2018