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Turd Burglar

Finally, you are all alone in the public restroom about to unleash a huge shit. Lo and behold, someone enters said restroom, interrupting your feces expulsion.

You sit quietly listening to what the fucktard is up to. Normally, he will do one of three things: 1) fake taking a piss; 2) wash his fucking hands for an hour; 3) just stand around silently.

There are only two ways to rid yourself from this low lifeform: 1) let loose the greasiest, juciest, diarrhea-filled fart you can muster; 2) squeeze the shit back into your ass, exit the stall, and kick the shit out of the freak.

This, my friends, is the true definition of a turd burglar.
Dude, I was at the mall and this turd burglar just stood around for like 10 minutes while I was trying to squeeze one out. I finally got so pissed that I commanded my asshole to suck the shit back up. I then proceeded to bust down the stall door and beat the shit out of him.
by Soul Controller May 6, 2011
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turd in a punchbowl

Something that does not go over very well.
Nancy came dressed as a nun to Mike's sleep-over fuck party. Her appearance went over like a turd in a punchbowl.
by Richard Black March 4, 2005
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Related Words

Flamingo turd

Chewed up and spit out bubble gum on the pavement.
I stepped in a flamingo turd while walking back to my car.
by RickyDash September 24, 2009
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turd cutter

an ass that you would like to jump all over and fuck the shit out of it.
a man might say "Look at the turd cutter on that one!"
by CopsStealPot. March 19, 2009
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turd in the punch bowl

1. Southernism. Adds a certain repugnance to describe an idea, remark or occurrence that fell flat, killed conversation, was socially unacceptable, or went over like the proverbial lead balloon.

2. Similarly, a gauche, socially inept or unwelcome person who has a stultifying effect on social gatherings, or, by extension, was involved in some futile or hugely unpopular effort.
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1. -- "All I did was tell one harmless little dirty joke and the whole room went silent. Apparently I had crossed some kind of taboo. No one even chuckled at the joke; it was a veritable turd in the punchbowl. I felt like one too, since the whole party immediately seized up and everyone stared at me."

2.(a) -- "There we were discussing local politics, and who shows up uninvited and parks himself right in the middle of our group? Little Georgie, the mayor's brat, who has an unerring sense of inappropriateness. I'd rather see a turd in the punch bowl than have to deal with that nuisance."

(b) "Practically everyone in town was in favor of a weeknight youth curfew, but as usual our "freethinking" pastor went contrary and opposed it. He didn't change anyone's mind. I think he's a jinx! A turd in the punch bowl of civic affairs."
by al-in-chgo February 28, 2010
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Turd Wrangler

A person who unclogs toilets and sewer lines.
We had to call the Turd Wrangler when the toilet clogged.
by Whoopdedo January 8, 2007
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bass-turd

mispronounced and misspelled for centuries now. actually spelled bass-turd and it is a derogatory word for someone who you would like to call fish poop.
I can believe you won u bass-turd.
by suikodenfan88 August 8, 2010
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