The Bible comes in handy when you have run out of
a.) Toilet paper
b.) Kindling
c.) Spitball ammunition
d.) Coffee filters
e.) Paper towels
f.) Diapers
g.) Maxi pads
h.) A surface from which to snort your cocaine
...Among other things.
a.) Toilet paper
b.) Kindling
c.) Spitball ammunition
d.) Coffee filters
e.) Paper towels
f.) Diapers
g.) Maxi pads
h.) A surface from which to snort your cocaine
...Among other things.
by Rev_elation April 30, 2008
Get the The Biblemug. Gay marriage and drugs are amoral and therefore wrong according to The Bible so ill have my senator make them illegal. FUCK THIS BOOK!
by arizonabay January 6, 2010
Get the The Biblemug. Person 1: I don't like bacon
Person 2: but God said, "…and thou shalt eat bacon"
Person 1: I guess bacon is good
Person 2: I just bibled your ass.
Person 2: but God said, "…and thou shalt eat bacon"
Person 1: I guess bacon is good
Person 2: I just bibled your ass.
by xderpt12 January 5, 2011
Get the Bibledmug. A completely ficticious piece of work.
by Stuju March 15, 2005
Get the The Biblemug. The most disputed collection of books in existence. Contain many life morals, Logic Flaws, and contradictions. WILL cause a heated argument with a zealous Christian if you even dare question so much as a word in it Often thumped by devout followers and used as an excuse to preform radical, and absurd acts. It's meanings are misinterpreted, and skewed by the Bible thumpers that "study it".
Bible Thumper: HAVE YOU HEARD THE GOOD WORD ABOUT OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR JESUS CHRIST WHO DIED FOR YOUR SINS? NO? IT STATES IT IN THE BIBLE, WHICH IF YOU DON'T READ AND ACCEPT AS THE WORD OF GOD YOU WILL GO TO HELL! BUT IT'S NOT TOO LATE FOR YOU TO BE SAVED! JUST COME TO OUR CHURCH AND----
Me: Kthanksbai *slams door*
Bible Thumper: BLAH BLAH BLAH RELIGIOUS QUOTE BLAH BLAH BLAH, TALK UNTIL I FEEL JUSTIFIED EVEN THOUGH THE DOOR WAS SHUT IN MY FACE. BLAH BLAH BLAH I DON'T QUESTION FUNDAMENTAL FLAWS OF RELIGION AND THE BIBLE. BLAH BLAH BLAH JOHN 3:16 BLAH BLAH BLAH I MOLEST CHILDREN.
Me: Kthanksbai *slams door*
Bible Thumper: BLAH BLAH BLAH RELIGIOUS QUOTE BLAH BLAH BLAH, TALK UNTIL I FEEL JUSTIFIED EVEN THOUGH THE DOOR WAS SHUT IN MY FACE. BLAH BLAH BLAH I DON'T QUESTION FUNDAMENTAL FLAWS OF RELIGION AND THE BIBLE. BLAH BLAH BLAH JOHN 3:16 BLAH BLAH BLAH I MOLEST CHILDREN.
by The One who Questions May 6, 2011
Get the The Biblemug. Some people believe the bible is the word of God and that you shouldn't believe any Man because we are fundamentally flawed. The thing these people don't realize is that Man wrote the bible. No, God did not TELL them what to write. Some people thought of some great ways to control people so they constructed this bible and made a MYTH about how this GOD told them to write this bullshit about the world and what you should do.
the bible is not something you should worship. It is a work of fiction written by man.
Would you worship Of Men and Mice?
the bible is not something you should worship. It is a work of fiction written by man.
Would you worship Of Men and Mice?
ooo the bible! if you dont read it and dont believe in god you are going to HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY WITH NO POSSIBILITY OF REDEMTION!!! I will pray for you!!
"no thanks."
"no thanks."
by thejenigma July 15, 2005
Get the the biblemug. In the beginning the bountiful Lord created war. It is not known why God in his majesty did such a silly thing. He was grounded for a week. As if it wasn't bad enough he also had a baby with someone else's wife and it was naughty. Around this time God invented condoms but the Catholics confiscated them. They were strawberry flavoured as well. God was really sneaky and then invented femidoms, but no one used them because they looked silly. To make up for the condom incident God invented peace and also pizza. God then killed his son because he was stealing this thunger (literally). And then God had a new son with the angel Gabrielle and called it Chuck Norris.
THE END.
THE END.
The Bible is always right.
by squidface01 April 27, 2009
Get the The Biblemug.