northern virginia
A detestable suburban backwater of America's lame, bland and culturally vacant capital. Filled with characterless subdivisions populated with characterless people and the poor immigrants that serve them, this place is so utterly conventional and uninteresting that it actually makes Westchester, Long Island, and Northern New Jersey look like they aren't cultural wastelands. NoVA doesn't suck simply because it lacks museums and "culture"--this is to be expected of any suburb. It sucks because the city it borders sucks. That city sucks because it is the center of government, and to be successful in government, one must be as uncontroversial (hence, boring, conventional) as possible. Any individual considering giving birth and raising children should realize that forcing them to grow up in NoVA will stunt them intellectually, emotionally, and aspirationally, for the rest of their lives.
Kid: "Why am I so bored that all I do all day is (smoke pot/drink/smoke cigarettes) and/or try to act like a (redneck or rap star)?
Wizened person: Because you live in Northern Virginia. Hope you at least get into college or something.
Wizened person: Because you live in Northern Virginia. Hope you at least get into college or something.
northern virginia by JLB3 April 29, 2005
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