7 definitions by JLB3
(n.)
1. A transaction in which one corporate entity is combined with another corporate entity. A variety of types of transactions are possible, the most common being the "triangular" merger whereby one corporation ("Buyer") creates a subsidiary ("Merger Sub") into which the other corporation ("Target") is combined, thereby creating a single corporation. A wave of mergers occurred in the 1980s due to the loosening of regulations by the Reagan administration. A similar boom occurred in the late 1990s, and, thus far, a wave of mergers in 2005 suggests that it will be another huge year of corporate combinations. Mergers create corporations with annoying, nonsensical names like "AOL Time Warner," and "JPMorganChase" and "PriceWaterHouseCoopers." Frequently, corporations fail to realize any additional profit from these transactions, despite many workers losing their jobs due to the supposed "efficiencies" created.
2. A transaction performed by the cockiest, least self-aware, obnoxious assholes in the worlds of investment banking and law. The area of expertise in which one performs mergers is known as "Mergers and Acquisitions" or "M&A."
1. A transaction in which one corporate entity is combined with another corporate entity. A variety of types of transactions are possible, the most common being the "triangular" merger whereby one corporation ("Buyer") creates a subsidiary ("Merger Sub") into which the other corporation ("Target") is combined, thereby creating a single corporation. A wave of mergers occurred in the 1980s due to the loosening of regulations by the Reagan administration. A similar boom occurred in the late 1990s, and, thus far, a wave of mergers in 2005 suggests that it will be another huge year of corporate combinations. Mergers create corporations with annoying, nonsensical names like "AOL Time Warner," and "JPMorganChase" and "PriceWaterHouseCoopers." Frequently, corporations fail to realize any additional profit from these transactions, despite many workers losing their jobs due to the supposed "efficiencies" created.
2. A transaction performed by the cockiest, least self-aware, obnoxious assholes in the worlds of investment banking and law. The area of expertise in which one performs mergers is known as "Mergers and Acquisitions" or "M&A."
1. The merger of AT&T Wireless and Cingular Wireless expanded the digital network of Cingular substantially.
2.
Corporate Asshole 1: Hey man, what you been up to at the office?
Corporate Asshole 2: Inhaling deeply, cocking head to the side, wiping coke off of nose I'm working on this new merger. I can't tell you anything about it, but dude, this is gonna be huge.
Corporate Asshole 1: Sweet. Dude, have you heard this new band called the Killers? They are so awesome.
Corporate Asshole 2: Yeah, they rock. When you getting off work?
Corporate Asshole 1: Probably 2 a.m. After that, I'm going to Lemon Bar.
2.
Corporate Asshole 1: Hey man, what you been up to at the office?
Corporate Asshole 2: Inhaling deeply, cocking head to the side, wiping coke off of nose I'm working on this new merger. I can't tell you anything about it, but dude, this is gonna be huge.
Corporate Asshole 1: Sweet. Dude, have you heard this new band called the Killers? They are so awesome.
Corporate Asshole 2: Yeah, they rock. When you getting off work?
Corporate Asshole 1: Probably 2 a.m. After that, I'm going to Lemon Bar.
by JLB3 April 29, 2005
by JLB3 April 29, 2005
A detestable suburban backwater of America's lame, bland and culturally vacant capital. Filled with characterless subdivisions populated with characterless people and the poor immigrants that serve them, this place is so utterly conventional and uninteresting that it actually makes Westchester, Long Island, and Northern New Jersey look like they aren't cultural wastelands. NoVA doesn't suck simply because it lacks museums and "culture"--this is to be expected of any suburb. It sucks because the city it borders sucks. That city sucks because it is the center of government, and to be successful in government, one must be as uncontroversial (hence, boring, conventional) as possible. Any individual considering giving birth and raising children should realize that forcing them to grow up in NoVA will stunt them intellectually, emotionally, and aspirationally, for the rest of their lives.
Kid: "Why am I so bored that all I do all day is (smoke pot/drink/smoke cigarettes) and/or try to act like a (redneck or rap star)?
Wizened person: Because you live in Northern Virginia. Hope you at least get into college or something.
Wizened person: Because you live in Northern Virginia. Hope you at least get into college or something.
by JLB3 April 29, 2005
A feeling of intense regret and personal worthlessness after a night, weekend, week, month, or even year (possibly, but not always containing copious drunkenness/drug abuse) of moral turpitude.
"How was your weekend?"
"Oh, man, I got drunk, had sex with my friend's sister, crashed my dad's car, and told off my best friend. I've got a serious moral hangover."
"Oh, man, I got drunk, had sex with my friend's sister, crashed my dad's car, and told off my best friend. I've got a serious moral hangover."
by JLB3 August 15, 2005
adj. Something that can be both good and bad, sometimes simultaneously. Much as someone who is a "gangsta" (n.) probably has many amusing qualities, such person probably has downsides as well.
Dude 1: Yeah, so I banged my best friend Mark's sister last night. She was so fucking hot, but if Mark finds out, he is totally gonna kick the shit out of me.
Dude 2: Damn, dude, that's shit's gangsta!
Dude 2: Damn, dude, that's shit's gangsta!
by JLB3 April 29, 2005
1. The vernacular term among investment bankers and lawyers used to refer to the practice of mergers and acquisitions.
2. The career of choice for total dickheads who like to work 80 hour weeks, treat others like shit, and revel in their own self-importance, despite the fact that all they do all day is write boring-ass contracts, listen to boring-ass conference calls, and get yelled at by their higher ups.
2. The career of choice for total dickheads who like to work 80 hour weeks, treat others like shit, and revel in their own self-importance, despite the fact that all they do all day is write boring-ass contracts, listen to boring-ass conference calls, and get yelled at by their higher ups.
Lawyer 1: "Wow, that new guy is really an asshole. Last night we went to Lemon Bar, and within two hours he'd done 13 shots, taken five trips to the bathroom to powder his nose, gotten turned down by 5 skanks, and got in a fight. What department is he in?"
Lawyer 2: "What do you think? M&A, of course!"
Lawyer 2: "What do you think? M&A, of course!"
by JLB3 April 29, 2005
Where all the would-be hipsters used to hang out. Now becoming as upscale, snobby and annoying as SoHo. Known for frequent Moby sightings.
by JLB3 May 24, 2005