A yuppie is any man or woman who believes they are entitled to high end paying jobs with little or no experience. This is the “everyone gets a trophy generation”, which was created by the “latch
key kid generation.”
Parents of yuppies, while trying to eat their emotions of loneliness, successfully over compensation their children’s accomplishments and discounting their failures. Mainly because their mommy and daddy was smoking
crack in the parking lot of a WHAM concert in the 80’s,while they sat on the living room floor alone eating Trix in a cup while watching the Smurfs.
Although Yuppies appear to have the latest in “trendy retro clothes”, in
reality, they dress this way because they have no
job and ransacked their grandma’s attic, grabbing what
moth eating clothes they could. Then return to their unfurnished apartment, to which they will refer to as a “studio” that has a small eco footprint, which supports a generation that doesn’t need “physical things.” Another physical trait of the yuppie, is the more recent Pompadour Fade, or otherwise known as the
grease comb over. Although trendy, it is actually by design, a health measure. By smearing
grease in their hair, pulling to one side and shaving the side of their head, this allows for ease when checking for mites or lice, due to the fact that they are unable to have running
water in their “studio”. This “Fad” will allow the perfect disguise to hide their true balding within the next
5-10 years.
Ben: Tom, you should minimize your green foot print and down size your
home that you worked so
hard for.
Tom: Ben, eat shit yuppie, get a job, wash your hair and tell your
parents to get counseling.
