Social Herpes

A condition in which a person among your close group of friends knows almost every person in your area and is unable to have a night out or other occasion without bumping into a person who greets them and nobody else in your group. It's known as herpes due to the fact that like herpes, you may tend to forget someone has it, but during social events are somehow constantly reminded.

Sam: Who's Caleb talking to?
Alice: I don't know. I've never seen them before...
Sam: I swear, Caleb totally has Social Herpes.

by Sore Ant October 20, 2009

Social gardening

The act of removing someone from your contacts list on a social networking site, your phone or email contact list.

Wow, I'm really sick of all these social vampires who always ask me to help them, but never return the favor. I think it's time to do a little social gardening.

by Captain Underpants III January 5, 2011

Social Climbing Fakers

Any person of humble social origins who aspires to be a member of a higher and / or more affluent social circle. In order to qualify as a 'social climber' this person must first and foremost be an utter liar and one who will stop at nothing to shamelessly promote themselves above their social standing and ABILITY. For example, they went to a Polytechnic which suddenly translates into Eton followed by Durham University. They bullshit to the Boss about how hard working they are at the expense of their truly industrious, focused subordinates. In other words they are capricious and will stop at nothing to fuck you over and get promoted. They think they've 'made it' to the higher echelons when they've acquired a low spec BMW or Audi Q5 (insert name and model of other expensive motor vehicle) even though they had to take out a high interest dodgy loan to 'buy' this 'bauble'. They gossip and slag everyone off; they call people 'tramps' and such like when they look like shit themselves. The social climber will typically try to associate with completely higher ranking people, thus living beyond their means and totally ignore those of a lesser rank than themselves (particularly at social functions). It's all smoke and mirrors, networking and consolidation loans. They are so self indulgent that they fail to realise that their act is paper thin and their betters laugh at how ridiculous they are.

Person A: I've secured myself an invite to the Colonel's Dining Out.
Person B: Really, I didn't know about that.
Person A: (Smug) Of course you didn't, you're on duty call out anyway and your wife has to baby sit for us.
Person B: What, again? Fuck off you social climbing fakers.

Man: But I can't even play golf, what the deuce? I don't even own golf clubs!!!
Ambitious Wife: Buy some on the credit card. The big boss plays golf and you need to network!!!
Man: Yes your Highness.

by TheManWhoDestroyedTheClique October 18, 2012

Social Constructionism

Using your sociological imagination to completely bullshit your final paper for a sociology graduate student that doesn't understand what he or she is teaching.

Using social constructionism, I passed my sociology course!

by bewarnecke_00 December 18, 2014

social media virus

A Social Media Virus is any idea or concept spread by social media that invokes fear, is not very quickly and easily disproved, which forwards itself on to others as fact. See also spam.

"I was so scared of COVID at first, but once I learned it was just a social media virus, and that the "pandemic" was nothing but the normal cold and flu season, I got over it."

by allteeallshade.store August 8, 2020

social quicksand

A person who sucks you into a long and boring pointless conversation you want no part of, and you have no way to get out of.

Sorry I was late, hon, the woman behind me in line at the market sucked me into a social quicksand.

by photojenna June 30, 2008

Social Disease

A disease that is prevalent among certain social groups due to a predisposition caused by adverse conditions

Head-Shrinker: in my opinion this child does not need his head shrunk at all, juvenile deliquency is purely a social disease.
Riff: Hey, I’ve got a social disease!

by Dogwould May 16, 2018