A group of highly evolved assholes who mysteriously appeared on the third planet from the sun in a tiny solar system who spend their meaningless, short lifespans trying to figure out themselves, the world around them, and their fellow assholes. As of late, a solid conclusion to the problem of their existence has yet to be found, and continued conflicts between different groups of assholes plague the minuscule planet on which they reside, as well as the human race itself.
"Hey, Joe. Did you hear the news last night?"
"Yeah. That's some twisted shit. Man, I hate the human race."
"Yeah. That's some twisted shit. Man, I hate the human race."
by Pessimistic-Panda September 14, 2014
Get the human race mug.by RedAckbar December 14, 2010
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by Steve5214 June 25, 2016
Get the Cards Against Humanity mug.When you look in the mirror and no longer recognize yourself, you feel a black emptiness inside and have lost all interest in life. You feel a mind numbing pain that you've given up on treating and you make it through the day because its all you know how to do, antidepressants never worked, therapy was a joke and as you sit there in your run down apartment in the ghetto you think about all your failures that have steered you to this moment and you feel that black tar or depression suffocating you. You have stopped brushing your teeth and washing your hair, you eat just enough to survive, you're too afraid of death to kill yourself. You're empty. You know there is no one to blame but yourself, you know that if you really tried, maybe, just maybe you could fix things, just a bit, but you never will.
by Giskard Reventlov April 15, 2018
Get the Husk of a human mug.A person pretending to be a helpful, question-answering friend on FANDOM Community Central. In actual fact, HumansCanWinEves is a terrible data-trafficker who only follows the radical ideas of the demented bunch of people called FANDOM staff like a coyote.
by y = mx + b December 13, 2021
Get the HumansCanWinEves mug.The equivalent of a diary but representing a person. In other words your best friend. The person who knows everything about you and you trust them to keep your memories, thoughts, and feelings safe.
Many people refer to their lover as their human diary.
Many people refer to their lover as their human diary.
by In love with Angelica April 8, 2017
Get the human diary mug.Reptilian Humanoids are aliens that include Dinosaur Bros, Bird-looking mofos, and mermaid sirens to name a few. Not so much the stereotypical lizard-men. They aren’t Reptilian so much as they have nucleated blood cells. The fact that we use “Humanoid” to describe them is more of an insult to them than anything, as they are considerably more advanced than we are, and at best think of us as pets, not peers.
Contrary to popular misconceptions propagated by UFOlogists, they are not cold blooded species, especially when you compare them to some actual cold blooded species... like politicians and lawyers. They don’t need us as a food source, they don’t possess people, they don’t want to take the earth for their own, and they are not demons or spawns of Satan. That doesn’t mean that they are always nice, or that they have our best interests at heart, though.
The fact is that they are definitely here for their own benefit, not ours, and what they see as beneficial to humans might not align with our own views. For instance, killing off half the population with natural disasters and diseases seems like a completely viable alternative for managing the population away from destructive tendency’s like mastering particle acceleration and quantum entanglement. With technology like that, humans might actually have to be treated “humanely” or something. That is definitely destructive for a commodities market that focuses on treating them like livestock.
Contrary to popular misconceptions propagated by UFOlogists, they are not cold blooded species, especially when you compare them to some actual cold blooded species... like politicians and lawyers. They don’t need us as a food source, they don’t possess people, they don’t want to take the earth for their own, and they are not demons or spawns of Satan. That doesn’t mean that they are always nice, or that they have our best interests at heart, though.
The fact is that they are definitely here for their own benefit, not ours, and what they see as beneficial to humans might not align with our own views. For instance, killing off half the population with natural disasters and diseases seems like a completely viable alternative for managing the population away from destructive tendency’s like mastering particle acceleration and quantum entanglement. With technology like that, humans might actually have to be treated “humanely” or something. That is definitely destructive for a commodities market that focuses on treating them like livestock.
Hey Glork, what is with this whole thing with these silly earthlings calling us Reptilian Humanoids and thinking we are evil and shit?
I don’t Xyclon, I’m just here harvesting product. These humans, though... they are getting out of control. It is about time to prune back the population and set them back to a more manageable level of civilization and technology. A couple of earthquakes and plagues ought to do the trick. What to you think of hunter-gatherer? Early Agrarian?
Ah hell Glork, just throw down a few dozen giant meteors and let them figure it out for themselves.
Well, some of them are kind of cute, maybe we don’t have to kill quite so many of them this time?
I don’t Xyclon, I’m just here harvesting product. These humans, though... they are getting out of control. It is about time to prune back the population and set them back to a more manageable level of civilization and technology. A couple of earthquakes and plagues ought to do the trick. What to you think of hunter-gatherer? Early Agrarian?
Ah hell Glork, just throw down a few dozen giant meteors and let them figure it out for themselves.
Well, some of them are kind of cute, maybe we don’t have to kill quite so many of them this time?
by Byrdlady August 4, 2019
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