blasturbating

Masturbating to porn at full volume while your wife and children are out of the house for an extended period.

John's wife and kids left for the beach today so I'm sure he's been blasturbating since he got home from work.

by Knoodle July 2, 2014

mlasterbate

When you masterbate right before you die

This will be mlasterbate

by The only pug July 16, 2021

bastermate

an illegitimate child having sex

bastermate, masterbate, afterthought, perpetaution, me

by DancingMadlyBackwards October 26, 2009

basterbating

V. (Baz-ter-BAY-ting):
The act of masturbating using garlic bread or the grease from garlic bread. This has been known to cause plane crashes and affect Counter-Strike:Source performance positively.

Example 1:
Woman: "What happened to that plane!!!!"
Man: "The pilot was basterbating..."
Woman:"Ouch..."
Man:"Yep, Virgin Airways has lost 4 planes this year to basterbating. It's a tragedy."

Example 2:
MooN: "Woah, Grazi is bhopping like a boss!!!"
PedoBear: "Yah, what's up with that?"
Grazi:"Sorry, what? I was busy basterbating"

by MooN333 September 13, 2011

blasturbate

v. to masturbate in such a way that your leavings shoot out at excessive velocity (usually only men can masturbate but sometimes a talented female can do it to)

Once I blasturbated straight into a friend's eye... and he was standing 20 feet away!

by Blasturbater August 26, 2006

Blisterpated

To be so intoxicated that you're way past high or drunk and almost to the point of passing out .

I've drank and smoked so much today I believe I'm blisterpated!

by Firehawk21_2001 February 21, 2020

blasturbation

Noun: An effect occurring after such extensive periods of masturbation. The effect will either be that of: lack of semen or "cum"; or no semen at all.

"Haha Dan can't cum."
"Dude, I just have blasturbation real bad!"
"Dan, no. You just can't cum."

by hank kaplan May 27, 2008