jesus week

A length of time equaling 12 days.

It's a long trip. We'll be back in a jesus week. See you next month.

by ChuckChaser69 December 20, 2009

Jesus Rape

When a fundamental Christian attempts to push their religious beliefs on you even after you said "NO!"

The defination jesus rape explains itself.

by redneckatheist.com March 24, 2006

pet jesus

A pet about 40 cm's tall. It waddles around like a penguin and sucks in its checks. It cannot talk. You hold it on a leach and it occasionally tugs on your skirt but only because it wants attention. They look like a miniature versions of Jesus, hence the reason for the name.. They cannot blink but have huge eyes and very small pupils. Pet Jesus's wear a typical Jesus style garment and only eat crackers...lots and lots of crackers..... They do not drink anything.

A pet jesus makes an adorable pet yet they are commonly found at the pound as their owners get tired of them because they are a constant nuisance. They are also incredibly creepy, for example they do not sleep. When you go to bed it will stand right next to your bed and stare at you for the duration of the night and most people find this incredibly violating and terrifying...

John: Hey bob, i see you have brought along your pet jesus

Bob: Yup, got any crackers?

John: Sure Thaaaang!

by Petjesus November 16, 2010

I will send you to Jesus

Stephen He. When your failure is failing so much that not even failure managment will work on him.

I will send you to Jesus

by Lol, nub get skill February 3, 2022

make baby jesus cry

Def 1: When something "makes baby Jesus cry," it means that that something is considered unpleasant, controversial, and/or evil by a certain person or group of people. Yes, and those people may include fundies, who are so into that Jesus thing.

Def 2: The term can also refer to something one may love and enjoy that another person or group may consider evil and/or unpleasant.

Def 3: Moreover, to "make baby Jesus cry" means to do anything(for pleasure or not for pleasure) that certain people consider unpleasant, controversial, and/or evil.

Examples of things that make baby Jesus cry:

Def 1:

Wars, greed, sex, corruption, and power hungriness make baby Jesus cry.

George W. Bush makes baby Jesus cry.

9/11 really made baby Jesus cry.

AOL makes baby Jesus cry.

Bill Clinton's sex scandal with Monica Lewinsky made baby Jesus cry.

The most recent Star Wars Episode 1 and 2 movies sucked so bad, they made baby Jesus cry.

Def 2:

I really love Emperor, Dimmu Borgir, and alot of Norwegian black metal! Their music is so evily awesome it makes baby Jesus cry!

The sex that I had with that hot buxom girl last night was so passionately raw and wild, it made baby Jesus cry!

Def 3:

Timothy McVeigh really made baby Jesus cry when he bombed the Oklahoma Federal Building.

So did the terrorist hijackers on 9/11.

Tonight I am going to make baby Jesus cry by screwing that man's hot wife.

by Mark H July 20, 2004

kungfu action jesus

Aang from avatar the abridged series who has Jesus power

aang is kungfu action jesus

by sonic869 September 22, 2009

drinking with jesus

The act of drinking in solitude without the connotation of being an alcoholic.

-I can't believe you pregamed alone last night, you're such a loser.
-Bro, I was drinking with Jesus.

by yeeserious October 20, 2005