174 definitions by Mark H

Def 1: When something "makes baby Jesus cry," it means that that something is considered unpleasant, controversial, and/or evil by a certain person or group of people. Yes, and those people may include fundies, who are so into that Jesus thing.

Def 2: The term can also refer to something one may love and enjoy that another person or group may consider evil and/or unpleasant.

Def 3: Moreover, to "make baby Jesus cry" means to do anything(for pleasure or not for pleasure) that certain people consider unpleasant, controversial, and/or evil.
Examples of things that make baby Jesus cry:

Def 1:

Wars, greed, sex, corruption, and power hungriness make baby Jesus cry.

George W. Bush makes baby Jesus cry.

9/11 really made baby Jesus cry.

AOL makes baby Jesus cry.

Bill Clinton's sex scandal with Monica Lewinsky made baby Jesus cry.

The most recent Star Wars Episode 1 and 2 movies sucked so bad, they made baby Jesus cry.

Def 2:

I really love Emperor, Dimmu Borgir, and alot of Norwegian black metal! Their music is so evily awesome it makes baby Jesus cry!

The sex that I had with that hot buxom girl last night was so passionately raw and wild, it made baby Jesus cry!

Def 3:

Timothy McVeigh really made baby Jesus cry when he bombed the Oklahoma Federal Building.

So did the terrorist hijackers on 9/11.

Tonight I am going to make baby Jesus cry by screwing that man's hot wife.
by Mark H July 20, 2004
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1. The quality of being manly and masculine.
2. Also a slang term for the size of a man's genitals. In particular, it means that the bigger your privates are, the more "manly" you are.
Damn, Mark ALMOST won the heart of that hottiemonjaro girl at the club! Even though he impressed her with his manliness (having won a few barfights, showing off a few signature moves, his looks, and his muscles), he really did NOT impress her when he dropped his pants, revealing his small excuse for manliness!

Mark H. Showing off my manliness at posting new slang defs at UrbanDictionary since February 2004.
by Mark H November 10, 2005
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1(noun).Shortened form of the word "Jujitsu" or "Jiu-Jitsu," which is a Japanese type of martial arts.

2(verb).To beat up someone by means of using the intuitive skills and knowledge of Jujitsu.

3(noun).A nickname for any Japanese person who has the letters "jitsu" in his/her name, as in "Fujitsu."
1. I am such a wuss at school and I'm always getting picked on. I should learn some Jitz to teach those bastards a lesson.

2. Yesterday at school, I totally jitzed that fucker up! You should have seen him laying in the pissoir with a bloody face and 3 broken ribs!

3. Oh god, now if I lose those important documents, the Jitz will fire me and leave me out in the street!
by Mark H August 14, 2004
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The act of ejaculating(jizzing) while urinating(whizzing) simultaneously.
1. As shy Stanley saw his beautiful big amazon bride show up in her wedding dress with her huge tits in prominence, he felt his entire reproductive system give way and he had to rush to the restroom to take a relieving jizz whiz, so he wouldn't embarrass himself in front of everybody.

2. As Vinnie sobered up and began to see that the hot bitch he was shagging was really a broke down swamp donkey, he knew that his last ditch act of retribution was to jizz whiz all over her face as soon as he pulled out.

Mark H. UD slang contributer since February 2004.
by Mark H April 16, 2005
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Ghetto ebonics slang for Jar Jar Binks, the most virulently annoying and moronic sci-fi character to ever grace the big screen. Of course there are some people who think he was fucking hillarious though.
George Lucas is suddenly awakened and terrified when a large strong frightening-looking black man storms into his bedroom breaking his door down.

Large scary looking black man: Ayyo Gizzorge, ya bettah brizzing J to da Bizzinks back in Ep'sode 3 o' else I'm gonna slide up again on ya wit mah homeboys and rape yo wife and kizzids, jack yo money frum ya, bizzurn down Skywalker Ranch, and make you da loveslave of sum cheese hog granny fo the rest of yo life, BITCH!

George Lucas:(shivering in his pajamas) Ummm, ohhh kay, I-I'll bring him back.
by Mark H September 05, 2004
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The area between a person's(male and female) legs; the crotch, the groin, the area where reproduction and the removal of bodily wastes occurs.
1.During cheerleading practice, while Jennifer was performing a cartwheel and the crotch of her outfit accidently slipped aside revealing her nether regions, little did she realize that Mick, who was jogging on the track nearby, caught sight of her wardrobe malfunction and suddenly had the irresistable urge to chuck it in her.

*a few days later...*

2.When poor ol' Mick accidently dropped the soap while using the prison shower, he had to bend over to pick it up, but this put his ass and nether regions into view, giving the other boys upstate a grand opportunity to tailpipe him and ram his shit in the wrong direction.

Mark H. Posting definitions on UD since last February.
by Mark H February 14, 2005
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Jocular slang term for a eunuch, or in layman's terms, a man with no nads(testicles).
Lucas: "Shit dogg, my ex has been going around school telling everyone the terrible truth about me"
Matt: "What truth?"
Lucas: "That I'm a nonad and that I was born that way." *sigh*
Matt: "Man, you better put the cap on the kitchen cleaner before that bitch kills your P.I. and makes you the school's laughing stock!"

Mark H. Urban Dictionary author since February 2004.
by Mark H May 23, 2005
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