fuckton

1: n. A very large amount. 2: Very heavy unit of measure. 3: A futon sofa that is used for sexual purposes.

Syn: assload, fuckload, shitload, shitton, beaucoup

Ant: jack shit

1. I can't go clubbing tonight, I have a fuckton of work on my puter.

2. Yo dude, that bitch gotta be sportin 17 fucktons.

3. Hey homey, you don't wanna plant your ass there. There's a shitload of Santorum on the fuckton.

fuckton by Marc December 11, 2003

fucktion 

Similar to fiction; Tale of sex that never actually happened.

Ummm...Remember when I said I fucked Becky and her mom simultaneously? That was actually fucktion.

fucktion by goatsearse May 12, 2009

fucktion 

When you are doing Calculus function problems and obviously there's something else on the
mind.

Rick: "What the heck would f(x) equal? I hate fucktions!"
Esteban: "Hahahahaha... nice"
Ms. Rod: "What kind of problems are you guys doing?"
Evan: "That, my friends, is called a Freudian slip... haha."

fucktion by A Breed of Sushi January 25, 2009

metric fucktonne 

Weighs marginally less than an Imperial Fuckton.
1 Imperial Fuckton = 1.016 Metric Fucktonnes

"Man, I've a shitload of work this week"
"That's nothing faeg, I've a metric fucktonne of assignments due tomorrow morning"
"So, still going on the beer tonight?"
"Does the Pope shit in the woods?"

metric fucktonne by SyxPak October 15, 2003

fuckmong 

idiot, witless. normally the person in question is drunk/stoned

look at the mess youve made of your pants-you fuckmong!

fuckmong by paul May 13, 2004

Metric Fuckton

A unit of weight that is so uncomprehendingly huge that if you even tried to comprehend it you would instantly die.

the metric (and therefore larger) version of a fuckton.

Bob: hey Joe how much do you weigh?
Joe: like a metric fuckton.
Bob: *dies*

Metric Fuckton by Fucking retarded bitch ass mf July 28, 2019

Urban Fucktionary 

When somebody is pissed off, for whatever reason at urban dictionary, they will call it urban fucktionary

Jimmy: Hey man, what's up?

Spike: Don't talk to me Jimmy, I'm pissed off cuz I caught my woman with another man

Jimmy: Well here's something that'll cheer you up, do you know what an Alabama firedragon is?

Spike: I don't care, is that something you found on urban fucktionary? Get a life, loser

Urban Fucktionary by Mr. FuckOff December 21, 2009