An intensely relaxing massage given by Ed Crankshaft to his family and
friends. When he does it, they sigh in relief. Most notably given when one of his family or
friends is stiff or tired at the end of the day. An Ed Massage is very soothing. It often includes the sea foam
green lotion known as Edward Ocean. If you want something that won't take a lot of time, don't head for a massage parlor - try an Ed Massage. And remember, Ed Crankshaft sent you!
Pickles: Hey Ed, I'm so sore. Chasing Homer around the garden really took a lot out of me. Its rough being a cat.
Ed: Well, that's no problem. How about an Ed Massage? (he takes a spoonful of the
Edward Ocean) Here's comes the massage plane into the hangar! Zoom! (he starts Pickles' fur)
Pam: Oh no, I've been walking all day. Did I see you giving Pickles an Ed Massage? I need one too!
Ed: Okay,
easy, easy now. This is going to be good. This is sweet. (he starts rubbing Pam's
feet) You
poor little chick.
Daddy knows what to do.
Ed: (while sitting in
front of the bonfire he feels a twinge in his back) Oh no, now I need an Ed Massage. Give me that
Edward Ocean, would ya? (he rubs some onto his back) There! That's better. That felt good.
Pam: Do you want me to do all over? I mean, not just your
feet, but whole body? I can do that if you want me to.
Ed: Sweet! My whole body feels rough. I haven't had an Ed Massage in days. I just need to warm up is all. Ed Massages rock! One of the best ways to relax after a hard day.
Pickles: Right on!
Even an old mudcat like me would love an Ed Massage every now and then. High paw! (Pickles high fives Ed, scratching his hand) Ed Massage forever!
