The psychological condition suffered by many fans of the comic strip 'The Middletons' when Beatrice Middleton is not seen in the strip. Symptoms of this include, but are not limited to: intense sadness, thoughts of 'Where is she?', and most importantly 'Why is she not here?'. This causes much depression. The only known cure is intense exercise or massages using Martian Mud, which is Beatrice Middleton's favorite massage cream.
Beatrice: What's wrong honey? You look sad. I know what it is, its Middleton's Disease, right?
Bryant: Yes, you haven't been in the strip for days. Where were you? I was beginning to think you'd never show.
Morris: Buddy, she can't be in every strip. She's got to have a break once in a while. She's your Gunny Granny, for crying out loud.
Midge: (laughing) You know, he's right. Just because she isn't in the strip doesn't mean she isn't here. (picks up a jar of Martian Mud) Do you want me to use this? You love it when Beatrice does it.
Bryant: A massage? You'd actually give me a Martian Mud massage? Okay, just make sure you go all over my body. That's the best one.
Beatrice: That's one way to cure it. Hey sweetie, there's a soccer game going on later. And I'm coaching it. Want to come?
Bryant: Sure, maybe we could bring Grandpa Hec and Grandma Flo. But would I still be sad if I came?
Beatrice: No, you wouldn't be sad. Middleton's Disease is tough, I know. But you'll get over it quickly. (she starts massaging Bryant with the Martian Mud) There you go, sweetie. Now, isn't that better? I love you, honey. And I always will. A Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do.
A judo throw that was created by Liv Hatley. Done by first getting in a horse stance and asking the person to come near you, then giving them a hug using the hands. Then the legs are wrapped around the person's waist so that you're hugging them with your full body. The throw ends with either a punch or a sweep causing both people to roll over laughing and wrestling. This so much fun. If you want to get your grandparents to play with you, ask them for a Horsey Hug and tell them Liv Hatley told you!
Liv: Hey Bryant, come here! You want to play judo with me? Come on, give me a Horsey Hug!
Bryant: Okay, here we go. (crouches in the horse stance waiting)
Liv: Okay, here I come. (she hugs Bryant with her hands) Hold on! We're not in the Horsey Hug yet. I gotta get my legs in there. Its not a Horsey Hug unless you go whole body with it, you know?
Bryant: (laughing) I know, if you don't do it full body, its just not a Horsey Hug. (wraps his legs around Liv's waist and execute a tiger's claw) See? Like that. You didn't get your whole body into it. There wasn't enough power.
Liv: I know. But isn't this fun? Its a great exercise, huh? Maybe next time we should let Grandpa Ben know about it. He doesn't know the secret of the Horsey Hug, yet.
Bryant: I know, he likes his Hatley Hula better. (leans over into a Hatley Hula and kisses Liv) Whew! What a workout. I just about got strangled.
Liv: I know. But that was a Horsey Hug. I had to show you some Hatley love.
A very creamy warm up stretch created by Stan Parker. Done by bending your body into an 'S', first one way and then the other. The stretch is always counteracted by touching toes and holding it. This is one of the easiest ways to stretch your back. When your back hurts, try a Stanley S. Stan Parker approved; Harriet Parker used!
Stan: Hey honey, are you sore? Does your back hurt again?
Bryant: Yes. My back does hurt. I think I slept on it wrong.
Stan: Well, no problem. I know how to fix that. Here, let's do a Stanley S. (he bends himself into an S) Easy, now. There you go. This feels creamy, doesn't it?
Bryant: Yeah, it does feel good. This is one of the nicest stretches.
Stan: Now, reverse the bend. S your body the other way. See, like this. (he forms a reverse S with his body) See, like that! Now, hold that for a few seconds and then touch your toes. Easy, right?
Rabbit: What's that? I haven't tried it. Can you show me? I want to learn how. You know, I'm stiff.
Stan: Sure! Just make an S with your body. First one way. (he shows her the Stanley S) And then the other way. And then you touch your toes at the end.
Rabbit: (tries the Stanley S) Wow! Great stretch Stanley. I oughta try this everyday!
Stan: Well, about ten of those everyday and your back will get the best stretch in the world. Its nothing less than the Stanley S!
The act of spending all day with your grandma. Often Mother's Day, or some other special day. The word was coined on May 8, 2011 by Opal Crankshaft and said to her adopted grandson, Bryant.
Opal: (holding up two different color blouses up to Bryant) Which one should I wear? What do you think, purple or pink?
Bryant: Well, the purple looks good on you. Why not wear that? (suddenly realizes today is Mother's Day) Or wait, better yet, keep the robe! Let's get Grannied!!
Opal: Now you're talking. This is a perfect day to get Grannied. Its not every day I get to lounge around in my bathrobe.
Bryant: Yeah, you're right. This is a treat for you. Massages, spa treatments - you name it. Today is a perfect day for it!
Ramona: Hey, but what about me? Remember, honey, you used to have a big crush on me. Whatever happened to that?
Bryant: Hey Ma Garggle, long time no see! This is one of my other grandmas, Opal Crankshaft. (Ramona and Opal shake hands)
Bryant: How's Thorny and Hornet?
Brutus: We're fine. Gladdys couldn't be here. But I came down.
Bryant: Sweet! We go back quite a long way, all the way to 1996.
Brutus: Yeah, we lost touch there for a while. Who's this grandma you're talking about? Its not my mother-in-law, Ramona, is it?
Bryant: No. Brutus Thornapple; Opal Crankshaft. (Brutus and Opal shake hands).
Opal: Its a great day to get Grannied, huh? A couple of new friends that I've never met. One of my favorite grandsons. A great way to stay busy on Mother's Day! Doing nothing but r-e-l-a-x!!
Slippers that also act as tennis shoes. They can be worn at night or as normal tennis shoes during the day. They are often worn with a bathrobe when doing the nightly exercises known as "Moon Stretches". The only known pair of Slipper Sneaks belongs to GYSGT. Beatrice Middleton. They are crazy sweet. So if you want your feet to be fit for weeks get yourself a pair of Slipper Sneaks.
Beatrice: Hey honey, did you see that moon? I'd better put on my Slipper Sneaks.
Bryant: Okay, it must be time for our Moon Stretches again. But what are Slipper Sneaks?
Beatrice: Only the most comfy sneakers ever! They're not only slippers, they're tennis shoes. You see here? (she lifts her foot up showing Bryant) See, they look like a tennis shoe. But they're also a slipper.
Bryant: Where can I get a pair? I love these!
Beatrice: Easy, honey. I've got tons of these. Now how about we do a nice, soft massage on you? These Slipper Sneaks would work great for that.
Bryant: Awesome! That felt really good. You almost went whole body, there.
Beatrice: Yes, Slipper Sneaks rule! A sneaker and a slipper combined. The best shoes any Gunny Granny could wear. A Gunny Granny's gotta love her shoes, now. (She kisses Bryant)
A new form of lower leg exercise created by Ralph Drabble on accident. You need to have a table very close at hand to do this. While walking up to the table, you slightly bang your shin bone against it emitting a loud 'YEOOW!', then hopping back and massaging your shin and ankle. This is repeated several times to complete the set. Not only does it toughen the shin bones, it also makes the ankles more flexible.
Ralph: (he's walking into the room) Hey! Do you want to help me with my Shinups? I haven't done them in a while. My shins are getting so weak and I usually have tough shins, you know?!
Bryant: Sure! I know how. Just walk into the table and give your shin a gentle bang, right?
Ralph: Yeah, and then you MASSAGE (like he's drawing it out) your shin and ankle really good. And then you just do it again. It's easy!
June: (bangs her shin into the table) YEOOWW!! Like that?!
Ralph: Yeah, you've got it now. It might sting your ankles but it works wonders for weak shins!
Bryant: Sweet! (stubs toe on the table) YEOOWW!!
Ralph: (runs over and massages Bryant's shin for him) That's it. We should put these on video. Anyone could do it!
June: Neat, forget push ups! You want tough lower legs? Try Shinups! (slaps Bryant on the shin and gives Ralph a high five)
A form of squat created on September 27, 2011 by Ben Hatley. It begins by standing by the Benmobile's front wheel with the feet spread as wide as possible. The wheel is then kicked or turned and then, between turns of the wheel, a plyometric squat is done. That is you jump up in between turns of the wheel. This is very powerful. If you thought doing squats was fun before, wait till you try Hatleysquats - they are awesome! Ben Hatley approved.
Ben: Hey Bryant, come here. How about a round of Hatleysquats? (he kicks the wheel of the Benmobile)
Bryant: I'm not sure. I know how to do it, but we did some this morning.
Ben: Well, it wouldn't hurt to do some again. Here, spread your feet and squat down when I turn the wheel. Then, for every time it turns, jump up once. Ready? (he turns the wheel and Bryant jumps up)
Liv: Wow! Are you doing Hatleysquats again? Let me at it! These are fun. Better than any old regular squat that I do.
Bryant: (counting, having already done 5) Six.. Seven.. Eight.. Nine.. Ten! There! I feel awesome now.
Snapper: What?! This crazy exercise. I used to do these, but not like that. Show me.
Bryant: Here Aunt Snapper, I'll show you. Spread your feet out and crouch down. Then, when Grandpa Ben turns the wheel, jump up, then squat again. Its easy. Its a Hatleysquat.
Snapper: (tries it) Woah, that's brisk. Do you think Grandma Mac might like it?
Ben: Sure, she'll love it. They are so hot your quads will be an inferno by the time we're done. (he rubs his leg because he's squatted for so long) Sweet!