143 definitions by Dusty's Baby Powder

An intense disease suffered by fans of the CFL's Edminton Eskimos, affectionately known as "The Eskies". Most notably shown by flashing green and gold colors or holding up a green oval with the interlocking double-E, which is The Eskies' symbol. Eskie Fever is most notably shown by Ralph Drabble's barber and close friend, Ernie Rand. So if you see green and gold don't reach for pain reliever, its just a bad case of Eskie Fever!
Ralph: Hey Ernie, great game yesterday, huh? Those Eskies are HOT!

Ernie: Green and gold, buddy, green and gold! I got a bad case of Eskie Fever.

Ralph: Here, lets get some lunch. How about a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of broccoli soup? Eskie colors!

Ernie: Sure! They beat the Tiger-cats pretty good. You know, I love my Eskies! (they start eating)

Ralph: Mmmmmm, this is good. Nothing beats an Eskie lunch. Man, it must be 102 in here. I'm burning up.

Ernie: (grabs a football) Now that we're done eating, lets play. Go long. (he throws the ball at Ralph and Ralph scores)

Ralph: Well, we beat 'em pretty good. In fact, we stopped them cold! Eskimos forever!

Ernie: (jumping up and down) Yes! Eskie Fever baby! Eskie Fever. A hunka hunka Eskie love.
by Dusty's Baby Powder November 29, 2011
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A rough intense foot massage mostly given by Opal Crankshaft. Mostly given in a bucket of water with cocoa butter and honey lotion added to it. Opal often does this to her ex-husband, Earl, when he won't play footsie with her.
Opal: Hey Earl, you want a tootsie tickler?

Earl: What do you mean? When we used to play footsie?

Opal: Sure. Remember that strip where we tried to play footsie but you didn't want to?

Earl: Yeah, you really took it to me then.

Ann: Oh, massaging the ashi I see.

Opal: Hey, do you want one too?

Ann: Hai!
by Dusty's Baby Powder November 11, 2010
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A push up invented by Amos Halftrack. Done not unlike a normal push up except with the aid of martini glasses which you push up off of. He often does them after a night of partying when he has been stone cold drunk. He also involves his wife, Martha Kate Rogers Halftrack.
Marty: Boy, these Trackups are hard! I don't know how you manage to do these.

Papa Amos: Well, they may be hard, but they work wonders on your arms. Feel this!! (he flexes his bicep and Marty crunches it)

Marty: Boy, that's one tough arm, there!

Papa Amos: That's from years of doing Trackups! Now, its not just any old push up. You've really gotta be in shape to do these babies. (takes a couple of martini glasses and does a trackup off of them to show her what he means)

Marty: Wow!! That's 78-year old bicep there!

Papa Amos: (bends down) Ten HUT! You aren't kidding there Little Missy! You may be my wife, but I'm gonna show you how we brigadier generals work out. (singing to the General Car Insurance theme) You want hard biceps all the time? Try doing Trackups, they're real fine!

Stainy: (comes running in with a Bloody Mary) Mind if I join you? I want to learn these too! (he quickly drinks his drink and sets the glass down on the floor)

Papa Amos: Well, here I'll show you how to do it. Give me that glass for a second. (he gets down on the floor and does another Trackup, which Stainy follows) See, its easy. All you do is push up off the martini glass. You can't do it close-handed or they'll break.

Stainy: Looks easy enough! Would they work on a 92-year old red fox like me?

Papa Amos: (starts laughing and jumping) Yeah, they sure would! You've already got the knack of how to do them. Hey, drop down and knock out 10 more for me. (blowing his whistle) Ten HUT!
by Dusty's Baby Powder April 29, 2011
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A sports term used when the coach is related to a sponsor of the team. Can also be other sports, i.e. baseball-in-law, football-in-law, and many more. The most famous Soccer-in-Law is Midge Middleton whose mother-in-law, Beatrice, sometimes coaches soccer. If you want sports action that is truly raw cheer for your favorite Soccer-in-Law!
Beatrice: Oh no, another soccer game! We need some serious stuff here.

Midge: I know, I'm a Soccer-in-Law! The kids need ice cream and things like that.

Beatrice: Okay, why don't you take me by the clubhouse at 9:00 and pick up the soccer things and then run by Coach K's and get some Coach K Chicken. I have to be at the field at 10:00 for pre-game stretches. And then we can go back at 11:00 for ice cream.

Midge: Sure! but all that would be rough on me. I'll probably need some of those warm up stretches myself. (She starts stretching herself)

Beatrice: There you go! That's what we're talking about. A little pre-game workout never hurts. You may be my daughter-in-law, but you're also a Soccer-in-Law. I'll see you later. (she blows the coach's whistle) Hey kids, move it!

Midge: (walks off the field) My mother-in-law's a great coach. And I'm the best Soccer-in-Law there is! Soccer-in-Laws are sweet@
by Dusty's Baby Powder December 25, 2011
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A former US Navy officer who loves watching TV. He often sits with a remote in his hand, patting the sofa as if it were a ship. The most famous Sofa Captain is Captain Earl Pickles, USN Ret.
Earl: Hey Nelson, you want to sit here with your favorite Sofa Captain? I think 'The Flintstones' is on.

Nelson: You are a such a goof! Of course I'll sit there with you.

Earl: (like a sea captain) Aye aye! Clear sailing ahead, matey!

Nelson: (like a sea captain) Arrgh, the goodship Flintstones dead ahead!

Opal: Anybody want some brownies and milk? Sofa Captains needs their snacks, you know!
by Dusty's Baby Powder January 21, 2011
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Fishing inside a couch for random things. Often played by Earl Pickles & his grandson Nelson Wolfe. Crazy things happen when you Sofa Fish. TRY IT!
Earl: Hey Nelson, let's go Sofa Fishing today!

Nelson: Oh boy I love Sofa Fishing!

Earl: OK, let's see what we catch.

Nelson: Sofa Fishing forever! It's so fun!

Earl: Rock on buddy! (slaps a high five)
by Dusty's Baby Powder February 9, 2012
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Exercises that counteract vericose veins. Often done by older women who have vericose vein disease. Spidercises are easy to do and anyone can do it, even if you don't have vericose. This workout is one of many invented by Beatrice "Gunny Granny" Middleton. Spidercises are spooky sweet. So, if you old ladies have veins that are sore to your eyes, why not reduce them with some Spidercise!
Beatrice: Oh no, darn vericose veins again! They're getting to me, honey. Its time for my Spidercise.

Bryant: Spidercise? What's that? Is this some sort of crazy granny workout I don't know about?

Beatrice: Sure! Its a set of exercises that shrink Spider Veins. (she puts her hand on her spiders) You see? You massage the muscles around your spider veins with several different motions. And that shrinks them.

Morris: Does it really work? Could I try it, too? There's a vein in my wrist that shows up pretty far.

Beatrice: Sure, sweetheart. (she puts her hand on Morris' inner wrist) You just press and release and then you press again. Do you feel it burn?

Morris: Oh yeah, that burns all right. Its working, Momma.

Midge: Here, let me into this. I've got a weak vein in my arm.

Beatrice: Well, just pump up and down on it. That will stretch it. I tell you, Spidercises work! If you're an old Gunny Granny like me, they tone those veins right up! They rock!
by Dusty's Baby Powder December 24, 2011
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