Touch yo'self befo' you fuck yo'self 

The original form of the expression "check yourself before you wreck yourself". It simply means that before doing something that could have negative consequences you should always masturbate.

LaBonaynayshaquiartisha: I'ma knife that manstealin ho LaFoundaquisha right in her damb ovary!
Mayonnaise: Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrlllll, you need to touch yo'self befo' you fuck yo'self!

Touch yo'self befo' you fuck yo'self by KKK Here to Stay! May 31, 2011

note to self 

Verbal comment underlining a topic arising from what has occurred in a conversation or activity. Usually meant to be funny, and probably self directed to defuse an embarrassing situation.

Taken from the habit of people using a recording device to make notes not directly involved with the subject.

A:"So, how did your day go?"
B:"Lousy! I just want to go straight to sleep tonight . . . "
A:"Oh, ok, honey. Note to self: Go and put out the candles in the bedroom."

note to self by D F Stuckey July 9, 2004

Internet self-retardation 

The act of knowingly talking stupid while chatting on the internet. Usually in an attempt to sound cute or random.

Person 1: O HAI HOW ARE YEW?!

Person 2: do me know yew? I dun think yew know me.

Person 1: Oh I sowwy fo dat! i thought yew was summbuddy else!

Someone with intelligence: Stupid random morons. That's Internet self-retardation for ya.

Internet self-retardation by hillbillybiskit August 5, 2008

note to self 

Catchphrase used by comic genuis Norm MacDonald in the movie "Dirty Work"

Note To Self: Buy Ass Wart Cream For Giant Wart On My Ass

Note To Self: Germans Love David Hasselhof

note to self by didjitmachines July 9, 2004

check yo self 

What you need to do before you wreck yo self.

"Check yo self, 'fo you wreck yo self, 'cause I'm bad for your heath - I come low stealth."

check yo self by XDavid PolicastroX April 16, 2009

employee self appraisal 

The BS thing everyone those every year thinking you are actually going to get raises.

Even though I lied like the best of them on my Employee Self Appraisal I still did not get a raise.

employee self appraisal by olavahc November 22, 2010

note to self 

"I must remind myself"

Note to self, as in "Note to self, remember never to proposition women in bars who have with tattoos AND piercings AND crew cuts. "

note to self by Luigi July 9, 2004