timbering

(v.) to ream someone with some solid timber; to fuck her silly.

Guy 1- "You trying to drink some Bud tonight."
Guy 2- "No, I'm gonna be timbering my slutfriend."
Guy 1- "Send her my condolences."
Guy 2- "No remorse, bro. Grow a pair."

by Da Sperminator March 31, 2011

pussy tasering

Firing a taser at a vagina for sexual kicks

I went pussy tasering last night, when it hit her pussy I was more shocked then her, I've never seen a women have a convulsive orgasm , she loved it, the burning pubes stank though

by mitch00uk April 8, 2015

Dick Tamping

The bizarre act seen in many porn films whereby a distinguished gentleman or gracious lady with strap-on, grips the base of the phallus and lightly taps it upon the meaty buttock-flesh of a partner presenting themselves by resting on the knees and hands (or elbows (...or face)). The most likely explanation for this phenomenon was offered by Professor Archibald Knobblyknackers of Christ College, Oxford, who theorised that the action was originally designed to test the hollowness of the awaiting bung-hole after the disastrous attempt by a disoriented Ron Jeremy to sodomise a helpless-yet-impenetrable Venus De Milo prop, which resulted in an imploded bellend and the brief resurrection of Michelangelo Batio for vengeance, who was given licence to murder twelve pigeons after a hazardous filing error and accidental double-lifing on account of the fact he wasn’t dead in the first place. Thus, dick tamping was subsequently invented as a safety precaution to ensure adequate space for a ram-passage, or to check for cockroaches or something.

‘Always precede any acts of quadrapedal intercourse with thorough dick tamping. If you are not sure whether it is safe to proceed, do not risk entry under any circumstances and contact your appointed fire official, where the offending buttocks will be taken away to be incinerated’ – the Porn Safety Handbook

by 535 October 9, 2012

Taylering

The act of starting a conversation with someone, but then only replying with five or less words back.

Taylering Person: "SO LYK, HOW WERE YOU TODAY?"

Victim: "Awful. I went to the grocery store, and there was no bagger, so I had to bag it myself. And I'm really bad at it, so when I got home the ice cream was all melted and sticky and I got it all over myself, so then I had to take a shower but then I found out that the drain wasn't working, and then I was drowning in shower water, and clumps of hair were floating around, and then the towels were all dirty, so I couldn't dry myself off."

Taylering Person: "aw 2 bad."

by DoTheShroom May 13, 2009

tapering

A term that can be used when referring to reducing the dose, when using a drug.

Tapering can help an addict when trying to quit a drug. Splitting a pill, snorting less, and even injecting less.

Swim: Are you off them xans yet?
Swim 2: Nah, but I'm tapering my Xanax bar because I don't want to get seizures.

by EazieWeezie June 2, 2018

van der tempeling

The process of stooping to an unprecedent low to get what you want.

I sooo van der tempeled the other day, I had to lick my wife's shit to get her to lend me 5 bucks.

Please, don't say no, I am willing to van der tempel to get it. I will even stab my own mother for this service.

The other day, I saw this crack whore van der tempeling to get her fix!

by Employee_of_the_year July 15, 2009

Tappening

When you accidentally like a photo from someone your stalking, and your anxiety takes a fucking nose dive into fuckmeville.

"He liked one of my photos on Instagram a month ago and then deleted his account the next day."
"Well that's one way to deal with the tappening."

by anon6574 July 14, 2016