Northport is a relatively wealthy village in the Huntington township located on the north shore of Long Island. The generally agreed upon characterization of Northport is that it mostly doesn't suck, because due to a number of highly industrious marijuana dealers, there is a healthy supply of purple, king and afghan kush. Also grapefruit haze was here last year, that was good. Every so often cocaine comes to town and that becomes a thing. Coke epidemics have sometimes started on the basis of someone coming back from college with an O and moving it around town. But mostly the drug of choice is weed, and among the more dedicated stoners, acid.
Generally, Northport is an expensive place to live, with housing prices being driven up on the basis that we only have 35 black people, and when a new one arrives everyone is quick to notice and take down their plates. Mostly, the people here live without too much worry about the helter skelter race wars, though some of the smarter ones do.
In the 30's, Antoine de Saint-Exupery lived in a house by Wyatt, and in 1950-ish Jack Kerouac got drunk in a bar in Northport. Then in 1984, Ricky Kasso cut a kid's eyes out and then choked him to death with gravel. To this day people are stilled wowed in the poon about that. He is recognized for his popularization of the drugs LSD and mescaline, as well as making it less gay to listen to Judas Priest.
During the year, there is little meaningful activity to do in Northport. During the day one can fish, swim or windsurf, but at night if you're under 21 and can't get politely inebriated at the Wine Bar or the Yacht Club, your time is best spent getting beligerently inebriated and breaking mailboxes or playing the choking game. Those who live dangerously might venture out into neighboring East-Northport, which is actually south of Northport, but calling themselves South-Northport would just make the people that live there feel like even more of a marginalized and lower class subdivision of Northport, so for the sake of their mental health, town planners made a concerted decision to rely on its slightly eastward positioning, rather than its more obvious southward positioning, when choosing the name.
Northport High School is a central aspect of Northport life, being made up of a large population of over achievers, a few genuinely intelligent people, and an overall air of superiority that makes us 100% sure we can beat you up, though we only really have a 40:60 chance that's in your favor. Our students tend to win Intel Prizes etc. with the intellectual atmosphere being dominated by IB students who think they're really intelligent, but they mostly just work extremely hard so they can end up in a research position at a university where they will be unhappy, while people who do less work and get a business management degree from Hofstra will do marginally better for themselves and be much more satisfied with their family/sex lives.
Generally, Northport is an expensive place to live, with housing prices being driven up on the basis that we only have 35 black people, and when a new one arrives everyone is quick to notice and take down their plates. Mostly, the people here live without too much worry about the helter skelter race wars, though some of the smarter ones do.
In the 30's, Antoine de Saint-Exupery lived in a house by Wyatt, and in 1950-ish Jack Kerouac got drunk in a bar in Northport. Then in 1984, Ricky Kasso cut a kid's eyes out and then choked him to death with gravel. To this day people are stilled wowed in the poon about that. He is recognized for his popularization of the drugs LSD and mescaline, as well as making it less gay to listen to Judas Priest.
During the year, there is little meaningful activity to do in Northport. During the day one can fish, swim or windsurf, but at night if you're under 21 and can't get politely inebriated at the Wine Bar or the Yacht Club, your time is best spent getting beligerently inebriated and breaking mailboxes or playing the choking game. Those who live dangerously might venture out into neighboring East-Northport, which is actually south of Northport, but calling themselves South-Northport would just make the people that live there feel like even more of a marginalized and lower class subdivision of Northport, so for the sake of their mental health, town planners made a concerted decision to rely on its slightly eastward positioning, rather than its more obvious southward positioning, when choosing the name.
Northport High School is a central aspect of Northport life, being made up of a large population of over achievers, a few genuinely intelligent people, and an overall air of superiority that makes us 100% sure we can beat you up, though we only really have a 40:60 chance that's in your favor. Our students tend to win Intel Prizes etc. with the intellectual atmosphere being dominated by IB students who think they're really intelligent, but they mostly just work extremely hard so they can end up in a research position at a university where they will be unhappy, while people who do less work and get a business management degree from Hofstra will do marginally better for themselves and be much more satisfied with their family/sex lives.
I just bought a house in Northport, because, I figure, with the relatively small Negro population, aggressively strong strains of Haze, and nationally ranked school system, my children can get into Binghamton and do decently for themselves.
by man blewha April 12, 2009
Get the Northport mug.A town on the north shore of long island nice park shitty high school nothing to do their but smoke weed get into fight yell YOLO or #swag 2012 or # fucking everything because people in that school cont talk like human they need facebook twitter and tumblr and texting to talk and talk shit since no one can say shit to each others face anymore, the boys are like short with shaved heads and big puffy Northface jackets one like they live in the hood but they live in the cleanest place on earth, the girls are rich snobby and just like to tease guys into thinking they will get something a relationship only lasts 3-7 days between bay and girl unless you find someone who is real (not in this town) people who live in the (Grids) or 1-10th avenue think they are bad asses if you are a senior you have the privileged of walking though the commons with your big foam cup from the deli and have all the jackass kids write yolo yolo yolo YOLO!!!!!! on it becouse you are all so cool! and also have you key lanyard hang out of you left back pocket that tags you as a senior all the girls try and compete with each other about who's boobs are perpendicular to there face and who's ass is bigger and who has a tattoo above their vagina the town is full rich assholes who frown upon the encroachment of minority family or people who don't drive a BMW a Cadillac , or a Benz
by NPThaters February 19, 2012
Get the Northport mug.YOLO~ers who do and say nothing besides go downtown, and go on facebook signaling their signature YOLO. Northport highschool has everything from creepy cubbys to orange whores.
Dude i was YOLO-ing the other day, and that cubby walked over and told me she was gonna cut me, damn northport
That chick looks like shes from the Chocolate Factory
That chick looks like shes from the Chocolate Factory
by NoYOLO~ May 7, 2011
Get the Northport mug.Honestly a great place to live, The really rich people are from Fort Salonga, Eatons Neck, and Asharoken. But Northport is far from poor. You must drive a Mercedes, vote republican, and make fun of the poor people in Kings Park to fit in. Somehow this little town has some of the best restaurants in the county too. Northport has some of the best MILFS on the island, huge tits and they r so down bad for young guys. I have heard so many stories..
It snows a lot in Northport... If you haven't heard already.... hence the name "snortport"
It snows a lot in Northport... If you haven't heard already.... hence the name "snortport"
by MSA.1998 March 16, 2026
Get the Northport mug.A shitty high school with too many wings and courtyards, 9 periods in a day, and a shitty football team. What happened to all the bomb threats? we had 5 4 last year, this year? 0. fucking security with their little porn filled office.
by Brian December 2, 2004
Get the northport high school mug.a school full of jap whores, fuckboys, and incoherent faggots who approach you during lunch. Nothing to do here but constantly smoke weed in class, get into fights, and get dissed by the VSCO girls. “Northports Genius” on YouTube is the is the average explanation of a student. You can’t use the bathroom during class because there is always someone signed out to stay in the commons or toke in the bathroom. NHS is also full of snitches so important people like Curcio get barred. Often tripping janitors can be found in the hallways
by Jen is best sh is warn October 31, 2019
Get the northport high school mug.You, me Northport High School. What are we getting for lunch? Pizza sticks of course! Uh oh! There was a roofie in our Northport High School pizza sticks. We black out, we wake up in the commons bathroom surrounded by feinds! Geek bar feinds! You know what that means. Geek off! The stench draws in an AP what do we do we’re gonna fight him! Geek fight. Geek handed. Geeked, out? Yes please. We befriend the AP after we beat him in a brawl and ride him into Hinson’s office. Dance dance revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the principal? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know I’m reincarnated as William J. Brosnan. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn’t even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turned into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. Ohmygodmrstgeorgeiloveyou AAAAAAAAAAA ohmygodmrstgeorgeiloveyou AAAAAAA
by Invincidih March 19, 2025
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