Reading Grandma A Bedtime Story

To masturbate

Well I gotta go read grandma a bedtime story.

by Chris Mitchell May 27, 2003

beating off

Same as jacking off, but in addition: Any time a mechanical device is temporarily malfunctioning, especially in an erratic motion fashion, it is beating off. See also on the rag and otr for malfunctions of a 5-7 day nature

Bill, the tachometer in you GTO is beating off. (wiggling erratically between 1400 and 3600 RPM)

by andy1 May 24, 2005

bertille

Bertille is often a quiet person who only speaks when spoken to. She is kind and pretty and often gets the guys but doesn't know it.

You'll be lucky if you get a Bertille

by Filip Jameson June 18, 2019

bedtimer

The last joint of the day. Shortened from 'bedtime bifter'.

"Come on Nick, time for bed."

"Yeah alright. Let me roll my bedtimer dude."

by The Strut October 1, 2004

beating up richard

jerking off

(geddit? richard = dick)

boy: i think about you when im beating up richard...
girl: ..................wtf ur a stranger

by ale-ale-jandro August 6, 2011

Bertie

The most amazing man you will meet. He is a complete gentleman, walking you to your door each time you go on a date no matter how long it will eventually take him to get home. Not pushy and caters to your every need. He is passionate about things he believes in and will fight for them. He is fun to be with and enjoys laughter and good company. He is kind and thoughtful. He is the guy that everyone wishes they were with. He is handsome and charming and strong both in the mind and physically. Although he can be a little insecure at times, he needs not to be because he is someone that you will surrender all of your love to wholly. His passions are, rugby, photography, politics, animal rights music and fitness. He is going to conquer the world, one step at a time! If you don't fall in love with this man then you must have some serious issues, you'd be lucky to have him in your life.

Guy walks girl home. That is such a Bertie thing to do.

by vitaweat January 22, 2011

Beating the pufferfish

A slang term for masturbating or fingering or pleasuring ones self.
This term may be used concurrently with spanking the moonface.

Person A: What are you doing tonight?
Person B: Oh, you know, just beating the pufferfish.
Person A: Nice.

by Tbell November 9, 2014