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Cripple turtle 

A cripple turtle is when your having sex and your penis is no longer erect.
Example: Yah he just got a cripple turtle the other night so we just watched a movie instead.
Cripple turtle by PONY, the Founder September 20, 2010

Sloppy Turtle 

Something characterized by qualities similar to that of the Florida soft shell turtle, namely a revolting physique, distinct lack of personal hygiene, and miserably aggressive personality.
Stop harassing the children and eating their lunches you Sloppy Turtle!
Sloppy Turtle by Marcie211 October 9, 2014

Gay Turtle 

When you are a gay turle you are gay af and have no social life freinds or other means of expressing yourself besides saying ur a gay turtle
Lou is the big gay, gay turtle.
Gay Turtle by BIGSTRAIGHT February 7, 2019

Torturing The Turtle 

"Where is Rob?"
"He is in his room torturing the turtle."
Torturing The Turtle by Matlor March 6, 2008

Awkward Humping Turtle 

When you make an awkward turtle on somebody's shoulder and push back and forth in a humping motion.
Wtf, my mom tried to pull an awkward humping turtle on me during grandma's funeral

Operation Flying Turtle

An advanced homosexual technique used by only the most adventurous couples. You start this delight by turning up the heat in the room to make your sack leather maliable. Once the sack leather has reached a bubblegumish feel. You then stretch the sack over the entire erect penis and With one hand (your dominant hand preferably) you lock the sack skin firmy in place at the base of the shaft. Now With your other arm supporting your lower back. Have your man kneel before you, grab his ankles, and bring his knees to his shoulders then tell him to repeat the word "Gamera" three times. Now comes the difficult part that takes otherworldly aim and precision. From approximately 15-20 yards out try and achieve a nice eric Dickersonesque head of steam and pray to god you hit the doodoo chute with enough force to engulf the whole " flying turtle... Nothing worse than a fractured Half turtle.

Godspeed
This move was invented,perfected and practiced repeatedly by Adam Carolla on his male staff members over at ace broadcasting studios.

Adam-" Hey bald Bryan, forget that fancy new tumor medicine you've been taking.... I got something better."

Bryan-" what's that boss?"

Adam-" looks like you dropped your pencil"

Bryan-" oh thank......... Uuuuuurrrrgghh ahhhhhhhh noooo! Not operation flying turtle again!!"