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ass monkey

An awkward neighbor or boyfriend/girlfriend in your dorm who invites himself/herself to meals, parties, and other social events. Ass monkeys attach themselves to specific groups or individuals by seeing that other individuals are able to invite themselves to events but still be welcomed companions.
Sketchball A: We need to go out the side door. If we don't your ass monkey will come with us to dinner.

Sketchball B: Tru that 'ho. I don't want my ass monkey fucking up my Pimp Committee.

Mutual Friend of Sketchballs A and B: I swear Sketchball B. If your ass monkey comes to one more meal with us I'm going to jump off a bridge.
ass monkey by I-Heart-Shiksas January 8, 2008
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ass load 

The term "ass load" can be found in the Old Testament of the Bible. God tells Noah to bring an ass's load of grain for each pair of animal brought upon the arc. Thus an ass load is derived from the amount of weight that can be held carried by a mature, healthy donkey (ass).

The term is used again in the New Testament when Jesus shares the parable of Rosie O'Donnell's booty, it is cursed to weigh over 7 ass loads because she is an annoying, fat, and ugly bitch.
Your mom's jugs must weigh more than 2 ass loads.
ass load by J Diddy January 16, 2004
Related Words

ass cracker 

One who not knowing the code or combination to a particular slice of ass is nonetheless able to get inside the ass
Frat boy 1: "dude is so wasting his time on lulu bitch NEVER gives it up"
Frat boy 2: "not. Dude is a total ass cracker. He will be in that ass before midnight"

Ass and Chips 

used when saying that something smells bad.

Example: "Damn Chris, your room smells like Ass N' Chips!"
ass and chips butt ass chips bad smell stinky bad odor
Ass and Chips by Louda(P$K) July 6, 2009

ass belonker 

One who eats from another's ass
ass belonker by Blah December 7, 2003

Ass Pirate 

1. One who commandeers ass.
2. A general insult implying the insultee is gay.
"ARRRGHH! Thar be the ass we aim to capture."

"Dennis, you're a fucking ass pirate."
Ass Pirate by John J. October 27, 2004

ass antlers 

A direct translations from the German, referring to tatoos, usually found on (young) women, on their backsides, below the belt line and above the cheeks. They look like the paisly designs of the '70's and remind one of the spread of a 7 point buck. Probably used to the same purpose, too
She' got 17 tattos altogether, the newest of which are those ass antlers peeking out over the tops of her jeans.
ass antlers by hammer hands April 15, 2006