making johns

making excuses. see no johns. Used mostly in the SSBM community.

"He said he lost because I counterpicked Corneria, but everyone knew he was just making johns."

by LBK! of CIC December 11, 2006

john early

Something you reply with when you know someone is going to say something stupid!

J BUCK:Yo what up mah nigga
J MOONY: What it iz son
J BUCK:YO i heard that y...
J MOONY: JOHN EARLY!!!! stfu and git out my crib.
J BUCK:Fuck you nigrock

by j moony July 12, 2007

dingle-john

When your cell phone rings in your back pocket and because of the precise positioning of the phone in your pocket and the correct ring mode of vibrate and the exact genre of underwear, a pleasing vibration of the scrotum occurs.

Dude, did you just call me?

Yeah.

It produced a wonderful dingle-john.

Oh Yeah?

Thank You.

by Dinglebob Dentist March 25, 2008

John Lagging

Drunk

When you are drunk you can be said to be "John Lagging"

"Steady mate, how many have you had?"

"Dunno but I'm absolutely John Lagging!"

by H0t J0n June 26, 2008

Original John

(verb) To drink bourbon and smoke a pipe while playing monopoly. Usually includes sorting opposing players into Hogwarts Houses.

"Hey you guys want to go out tonight, drink some vodka and try to pick up girls at The Club?"

"Definitely not, let's Original John it tonight."

by Mayja Layza April 23, 2013

futon john

A douche that likes to remind every person he meets that he was conceived on a futon.

Kid 1: "Have you met Futon John?"

Kid 2: "No, but I heard he was a douche."

Kid 3: "I heard he was conceived on a futon."

Kid 1: "I wish I was conceived on a futon."

by Dubya14 November 25, 2013

John Barber

The physical embodiment of dirt, not only does this vile creature lie 24/7 but also goes out of his way to stay well away from anything remotely hygienic. In addition to the blocks of bellchesse that engulf his chode and constantly put him off, he also is sexually attracted to dogs and has various different branded ice lollies stuck between the many many chins and rolls of fat he has.

Friend 1 - “mate did u see how John Barber that toilet was”
Friend 2 - “dude I’ve seen dogs shit out cleaner things”

by urnanscrustyvagina November 4, 2018