Close Reading

When you heavily analyze someone’s Instagram post or general personal information to figure out who they are as a person/ what is going on.

Very similar to stalking but with an intellectual and analytical twist.

Like criminal minds- but taking it too far.

Friend 1 - Did you see Sam’s Instagram post?

Friend 2 - Yeah I did. It was so chaotic that I had to do a full close reading last night.

Friend 1- Did you hear that Ariana and Finn got back together again?

Friend 2- Wait what!? We need to close read this situation later so we can fully understand what is going on.

by SassyGorgeousPrincess November 06, 2021

close pals

Close friends, simply.

David Walliams and Simon Cowell are close pals

by Lehkonen April 24, 2018

facebook close

Term for family and friends whom I really like, but generally only stalk on Facebook.

I am Facebook close with a few of my 50 first cousins who live all over the world.

by McAvalon February 28, 2017

covid closed

New signs popping up in front of businesses that are failing because of covid19 virus.

My business is covid closed because of this fucking virus. It wasn't because I'm a bad businessman......just bad timing!

by JoeyBomm July 01, 2020

Closed Friendship

that uncomfortable place in a developing relationship where it would be awkward for either person to see other people but the two are not yet a couple

Girl, get off that, you're in a closed friendship with him; stop banging his bestie.

by fuckwanandesuka September 25, 2010

closed goat

A tightly shut vagina.

Oooooh, you don't have camel-toe, so you must have a closed goat.

by erectism December 29, 2007

close the pool

When the pool is closed due to aids!

If the pool is closed then you will notice a black man with a black afro holding a sign which says "Pools Closed Due To Aids"

the pool has been closed due to aids the pool has been closed do to aids the pool has been closed due to aids

Anonymous: OMFG WTF IS THIS SHIT!
Anonymous: can't you read? the pool is closed due to aids.
Anonymous: wtf? /facepalm.
Candlejack: <---oh shi-

close the pool
YOU SWIM HERE YOU GET AIDS!!!!

by trigun``` November 05, 2007