Matter and liquid that appears on the back side of the top of a toilet seat. The matter is usually underwear lint flecks while the liquid is often the afterbirth of diarreah.
I wiped away Larry Dales's ass crud with a paper towel and then took to the seat.
The ass crud was dry so I had to lick the toilet seat and THEN wipe it off.
ass blos·som as blos-uhm-n. a burgeoning rectal sphincter. The purtruding rosey inards of a chick that got ass fucked really hard. Sometimes a result of fisting or large object insertion.
...and then Mike fucked her ass right after Joey; she justlaid there moaning with her ass blossom all stickin' out n' shit!
v. (Past Simple) The past action of Ass Canning. When an individual has been on the receiving end of anal sex.
Last night Johnny was ass canning Jill while watching the evening news. The next morning, Jill was speaking to her best friend Melissa about the previous night of anal sex. Jill told Melissa, "Johnny ass canned me good, and I can barely sit down today."
The number of times your ass leaves or touches a seat for any given activity. Useful for evaluating the relative effort required between two activities, especially when one activity involves someone else doing the work.
If I eat the cold pizza in the fridge, that's an ass factor of 2 (ass leaves couch, get pizza, ass touches seat), whereas going to Burger King is an ass factor of 4 (ass leaves couch, touches car seat, leaves car seat and then touches couch).
If I get up and get a beer, that's an ass fact or of 2. If you get it for me, that's an ass factor of 0.
The order of french fries consisting of the remains of a once proud batch. This order has the short, burned, crisped-solid, or fingernail like french fries. Fast food workers often try to compensate for ass fries by sheer volume of fries. May lead to depression or recipient becoming punchy.
Ricky's cheerful attitudetook a turn for the worse after seeing a box of ass fries next to his cheeseburger.