ikea furniture

The devils work. Incredibly difficult to pronounce AND put together. Only couples who want to break up will try to build IKEA furniture together.

Man: "I tried building a apelviken once, me and my girlfriend broke up because of it"
Woman: "what the hell is an apelviken?"
Man: "IKEA furniture"

by TheBlanket September 22, 2015

Furniture Zombie

When a customer comes into a furniture store multiple times throughout the week and walks around looking at the same things without asking any questions or for help; in a zombie like manner. Furniture Zombies also never buy and waste your time. This is similar to a Furniture Vampire but a Furniture Zombie doesn’t speak or acknowledge that a sales person is even there. A Furniture Zombie episode could last 20 seconds to 2 hours. The typical age of a Furniture Zombie is the ages 70 and up. At least 1 out of 10 customers is considered a Furniture Zombie. If a Furniture Zombie is under the age of 70 then you have a rare form of Furniture Zombie which might be better or worse than a typical Furniture Zombie.

Susan had a classic Furniture Zombie. The woman was 80 years old and she was previously in the past two days looking at all of the furniture pieces on the floor. Susan asked her if she could help but the woman didn't respond and looked like a zombie.

by TheFurnitureGal April 26, 2011

Furniture funk

The lent, dust, crumbs, spare change and other unidentifiable stuff that is found between and under the cushions of lounge chairs and sofas.

We have got to do a better job of cleaning the house. I reached down between the sofa cushions yesterday and pulled out all of this furniture funk, it was disgusting. sofa stank, chair cheese, lent crumbs, furniture dust, dust devils

by joecoolthefool December 21, 2014

Busted Suite of Furniture

Term originating Ballygawley N.I

means a woman who is worse that a busted sofa aka sooo sexually active her stuffing is now hanging out of her vagina. A busted suite of furniture means not only has the sofa been wrecked but the other sets also.

Sean: I went to shag her last night and took one look at her pussy and looked like a busted suite of furniture the amount of damage done to it.

Jamie: ewww did u shag her then?

Sean: well any holes a goal.

by MarieLouise November 12, 2007

eating furniture

When i was twelve i was six three, when i went to play championships for our basketball tournament this guy said, "That guy must eat furniture he's huge!"

Shaq eats furniture.

by JOE_BLOW April 3, 2004

moving furniture

'Moving funiture' is a way to tell your buddys that you had sex with a hot girl friend after helping her to move house. In other words boasting to your buddys in the bar afterwards by saying "She really like moving" or "we moved the the funiture six times when I help her move in."

Alex:"Last night I helped Elizabeth move."
Graham: "How did it go?"
Alex: "We were moving furniture all night,six times in all! It made saturday at work so hard."
Graham: "Six times in one night you greedy bastard. I am glad work sucked."

by littel Jon March 6, 2007

furniture

Office workers that have been there so long, and do so little, that you only notice them when they move or are missing.

Hey where's Fred? It's like somebody took a piece of the furniture !

by The Pirate of Pissants April 25, 2011