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boner smoker

Someone who is a total gaylord, sucks an extraordinary amount of penis, or in general did something super mega gay to deserve this title.

Includes all types of boners: hickory smoked, steamed, barbecued, grilled, mesquite, etc.
"God, Brady is such a boner smoker."

"Shawn was creeping again on another drunk girl? What a fucking boner smoker."
boner smoker by Mitch Comer March 24, 2008

fake smoker 

one who leads others to believe that he is addicted to cigarette smoking but does not actually inhale cigarette smoke
-wow kyle smokes way too many cigarettes now
-yeah but hes a fake smoker so im not too worried about him
-OH i get it! because smoking makes you cool
- ( :

Tennessee Smokehouse 

n. the act of giving a woman a barbecue sauce enema then doing her in the butt, pulling out, and having her suck your penis dry.
Terry: "Yeah, it was our anniversary last night."
Sean: "Really? Did you and Barbara do anything special."
Terry: "You bet. I gave her the ol' Tennessee Smokehouse...loved it."
A greasy and weird person that everyone strongly dislikes. Smokers usually have greasy hair and wear the same clothing every day.

This person will tend to hang around with you or your group of friends. A Smoker is someone you have ditched or attempted to ditch before.

To avoid a smoker just yell "smoker" then run away as fast as you can. Smokers are usually slow and will not be able to follow you.
Bob- "I hate that guy. He's such a smoker."

Phillip- " oh hear he comes, Smoker!!"
Bob- "Run!"

Derek- "look out hear comes a smoker."
Smoker by MADDOG199411 June 15, 2011

smoke em if you got em 

When in a predicament when it appears there is no escape, one smokes if they have them because the health effects no longer matter.

Said in a time when death is imminent.
As the extinction-level asteroid tumbles toward earth...

John: "I can't believe we're all going to die like this..."
Mark: "Smoke em if you got em, boys. This is it."
John: <lights up>

smokeless tobacco

1. Dip- Hands down one of God's greatest gifts to man. Shredded tobacco that comes in snuff(sand-like), fine cut(short strands), and long cut(longer cuts of tobacco). It is sold in a can and is put between your lip and gums. New users will experience a "buzz" from the nicotine, but experienced dippers(myself included) build a tolerance to the nicotine and it just makes you feel like a million bucks. Popular brands are: Copenhagen(the manliest but expensive), Skoal(expensive and for pussies), and Grizzly(cheap but satisfying). Dip also comes in a variety of flavors such as natural, straight, wintergreen, mint, whiskey flavors, and fruity flavors(mainly Skoal which is for new dippers).

2. Chew- Leaf tobacco that you chew on unlike dip. It does not give you a buzz but the taste is much milder than dip. It comes in a pouch and is place in your cheek. Popular brands are Red Man(the classic chew), Taylor's Pride(expensive but worth it), and Levi Garret(also another classic chew). Chew is not flavored like dip is. The taste is very sweet and has a hint of raisin taste to it in my opinion.
1. Joe- Man I'm fresh outta my Grizzly Natural Long Cut. Can you spot me a pinch of your Copenhagen Straight?
Trent- Sure man anything for my boy.

2. Hilton- This Red Man smokeless tobacco is makin' me spit like a water hose I reckon.
Joey- Shut up Hilton, you're a vagina. (Not because chew is for vaginas)