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five monkeys 

The Way Things Are Done:

Start with 5 monkeys locked in a cage.

Hang a banana from the roof on a string and place a set of stairs under it.

Before long the monkeys will go to the stairs and start to climb toward the banana.

As soon as the first monkey touches the stairs, hose the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while another monkey makes an attempt with the same result. All the other are sprayed with cold water.

Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and goes to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm!

Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.

Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water.

Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.

Why not?

Because as far as they know that’s the way it’s always been done around here. And that, my friends, is how company policy begins.
Example of "five monkeys" in action:

Why? / Why not?

-because that's the way things are done around here.
five monkeys by Ramon NZ November 3, 2008
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five monkeys 

when people keep doing things the same way they have always done because thats the way it was done when they got there they don't ask why they are doing it that way they just know thats the way they always done it
he's doing a five monkeys
five monkeys by Bulldog May 5, 2005

Monkey Five-Oh

An obscure colloquism referring to the Police (Fuzz,Pig,Copper,etc.).

Origin is unknown, but apparently gives reference to "Hawaii 5-0" (a popular television show of the late 1970s), together with the inherent ape-like qualities associated to low-ranking law enforcers.
"...Quick, turn down the music - Monkey Five-Oh is right outside!"
Monkey Five-Oh by DardaDos September 1, 2005

Male Pattern Blindness 

When a man will search for hours to find something that is laying out in the open on a table. Items are often easily found by a women.
Man: "I have been searching for hours for keys."
Woman: "You mean the ones sitting there on the coffee table?"
Man: "Where?"
Woman: "Right there in the middle of that table."
Man: "oh, must have been Male Pattern Blindness"
Male Pattern Blindness by diablo581 February 10, 2008
Word of the Day on June 18, 2026

Pretty Privilege

A person who has more opportunities, and becomes more successful in life because of how attractive they are.
"Pretty privilege isn't a thing." "Yes it is have you seen GeorgeNotFound"

"GeorgeNotFound has so much pretty privilege its not fair!!!"
Word of the Day on June 17, 2026
Jenny got in more trouble after being arrested because she had priors.
priors by Jermaine Young. October 14, 2008
Word of the Day on June 16, 2026
An acronym for an "aznbbygirl" meaning an asian female gangster. ABG's like to hang with gangsters and wear thin (slutty) clothing. They like to jump other girls who talk shit and make out with their boyfriends 24/7 (maybe even have sex.) Usually own side kicks who also like to text frequently. ABG'S also normally have a "ride or die" homie, someone who is always down for them, or die trying. ABG's are also known for dying their hair alot. From blonde to black. They have many piercings: multiple on the ears, and stomach/lip. They probably have teased hair, bangs, and have had extensions at one point or another. Could also have painted nails and tatoos. ABG's are super hot, but you would probably get jumped if you tried to hit on them. They also loiter and hang out past curfew.
"Oh shit look at those hotties at that boba house.."
"Watch out, see those gangsters next to them? Their obviously ABG's."
"Damn..still hot."
ABG by Lolzercoptorzallday February 7, 2009
Word of the Day on June 14, 2026