Hamsturbating 

Think of masturbation. Now think of a cute little hamster fondling himself.

No worries man, he's just hamsturbating.

Hamsturbating by KrisJoy August 18, 2010

Hashturbating 

A term used by members of the drinking/running club called the Hash House Harriers. It occurs when a member of such club is either excessively talking about hashing or tediously planning a hash trail.

Hasher 1: Where is Penis Fly Trap?
Hasher 2: Oh she's upstairs on Bing Maps hasturbating for her next June trail.
Hasher1: Jeebus it's been 2 hours!

Or:

Hasher 1: Dude! Last weeks trail had so much shiggy!! There was a wall of briars, and I swear Taint No Savior was going to need stitches! Then there was this tunnel that went on forever!!! OMG, and the beer check was up this creek and we had to swim-
Hasher2: I got it! I got! I missed a great trail. Quit hashturbating in front of me.

Hashturbating by P3nis Fly Trap April 30, 2015

hamsterbating 

the hamster version of masturbation
even though they are actually cleaning themselves, it looks more like they are pleasing themselves

Bruno: Hey man, what in the world is your hamster doing?
Alfie: Oh, don't worry about it, he's just hamsterbating.
Bruno: Gross man, you need to get him a woman!

hamsterbating by Hamster man November 11, 2006

Halfsturbating 

Casually working ones own genitalia to work up or maintain arousal. Usually done while perusing the internet for porn, or a cybersex partner.

I was halfsturbating for nearly an hour before I found a good video of a chick stuffing 3 cucumbers in her vag. I came pretty quick.

Halfsturbating by pnx April 5, 2009

Hatesturbating 

The act of thinking angry thoughts in order to get oneself in a rage.

Dude, calm down and stop hatesturbating.

Hatesturbating by Phaex February 17, 2009

Hosturbating 

The act of women cleaning themselves like a cat.

"So, I was just relaxing in the hot tub, and there they were: the entire female yoga class Hosturbating!"

Hosturbating by AgentYang May 15, 2013

amsturbating 

legalized narcotics meets self pleasure

Sorry I'm late, I was amsturbating.

amsturbating by lizzydoodle November 19, 2007