pantaloon's definitions

nowski

1)verb-to kiss with mouth open wider than person being kissed, resulting in saliva coating the entire mouthel region (including mustache and beard area, and possibly ear,nose and throat)
2)The shiny surfaces wetted as a result of being "nowskied."

1)She leaned forward and opened her mouth wide to nowski me. I could see the contents of her stomach because happened to be wearing my spelunking helmut.
2)When they left the closet after their "seven minutes in heaven," the nowski was clear from the sheen around her lips and chin.

by Pantaloon January 13, 2008

the professor

The ruse of having a guy come over to fix something, with the real intention of having sex with him. Much the same way Marianne, Ginger, Mrs. Howell, and the Skipper, used to play the Professor on the ol' TV classic Gilligan's Island.

Elaine worked the professor on Newman. She had him come over to fix her mail slot, and he delivered all over her.

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008

milch talk

Speaking in iambic pentameter with a steady stream of obscenity, ala HBO's "Deadwood."

Voice from the box-"Welcome to Macdonald's, can I take your order?"

Driver-"Would a motherfucker be so fuckin' blind
as undiscerning to discern
the motherfuckin' value of fuckin value meal partook?"

Voice- "That'll be $6.49, please drive around to the second window, and thank you for choosing Motherfuckin' Macdonald's, Milch talker."

by Pantaloon January 18, 2008

gandhi

1)Brilliant leader of non-violent Indian insurgency against British colonial rule during the first half of 20th century in. Philosophy of civil disobedience not only won independence for India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh, but influenced Civil Rights movement in US through slain leader Martin Luther King Jr.
2)To shit one's pants or man-diaper with no visible sign of discomfort.

1)Gandhi inspired many millions of people to risk their lives to rid themselves of the shackles of the British Empire. He would often sit at his loom in a diaper. This was awe inspiring.
2)Uncle Joe would watch the Sunday games in his old Barcalounger with the food tray in front of him. Nary a facial muscle would twitch when he gandhied during the half-time show. The stench was unbelievable.

by Pantaloon January 22, 2008

Milk the bull

1)The act of trying to produce milk from a steer. Results may vary.
2)Euphemism for yanking the genitals in a downward motion.

1)Josiah did his very best to draw dairy product from the old Fella, but he was kicked clear in the head. Just goes to show, you can teach a man to fish, but ye jus kain milk the bull.
2)Jillian attempted to milk Tommy's bull right there at the booth, but she only succeeded in drawing the attention of the other patrons at Applebee's. The steady popping noise was too distracting from the delightful delicacies of which they were partaking. The waitress was forced to lend a hand to expedite the process.

by Pantaloon January 26, 2008

fire in the hole

Common signal used among married couples. It allows the pair to go on, business as usual, and still have sex without bothering the husband with all that foreplay nonsense. The woman goes into the bedroom and works herself into a lather using whatever means necessary (nothing for the man to concern himself with). The man hits the record button on the remote, gives her the whammy jammy, and then takes a nap. The woman is free to go about her chores, or chat on the phone.

Betty needed the Wizmatic Double-Dong to do the trick, but she managed to work up a reasonable wide on. She put both hands to her mouth and called, "Fire in the hole!" She set herself to an appropriate position as she heard Mario lurching off the couch and scratching himself. She lay with her cheek sideways on the pillow and felt the cooling draft on her taint when Mario swung open the door. And then he was upon her, writhing like a captured weasel, spending himself like casino chips and collapsing over her back. Without missing a beat, Betty swung around the wizmatic and locked onto her target, guiding the rocket to ground zero. She grabbed a pear of sweats, went to the fridge, and grabbed a pint of Haagen-Daaz. Betty dropped herself onto the couch, and turned on Lifetime, while the snores of Mario rumbled steadily from the bedroom.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

Cunningham

The penis of the character of Mr. Cunningham from the television show "Happy Days."

Mrs. C.- Oh, Howard, I want you to stick me with your Cunningham till it stinks.
Mr. C.- What else would I do, Marion?
Joanie- If you don't know Dad, I feel sorry for you.
Mr. C.- Joanie, go to your room!
Joanie- Why do I always have to go to my room everytime you take your dick out?

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008