the best boy you'll ever meet. he's polite, nice, a true gentleman. his mother raised him right. he's hilarious, sarcastic in a good way, and super caring. he's also cute. he's a gamer and laughs hard at everything. he's perfect inside and out. he plays soccer but always calls it football. he always asks questions because he always wants to get to know people. he's super athletic and has muscles. he's just amazing. if you don't know him, get to know him. you won't regret it.
Guy 1: "Dude, did you see Bert open a door, and start to go down the stairs, but saw that the door closed before this girl could go though and went BACK to open it for her?"
Guy 2: "Yea bro, he's such a gentleman."
by DogsAndDolphins April 5, 2014
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The most amazing boy you'll ever meet. Usually cute and not afraid to reveal his naughty side ;)
by Priscaaay November 24, 2008
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Code word for Danger as explained in the series "Friends"
Joey: Well, you wouldn't let me in, so I thought you were in trouble.

Chandler: Well, we're not.

Joey: But you called me 'Bert'!? That's our code word for danger!

Chandler: We don't have a code word.

Joey: We don't? We really should. From now on, 'Bert' will be our code word for danger.
by Emma79 December 21, 2014
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A dialectal term for cigarette. Popular in North Lancashire and South Cumbria - may also have found its way to South Wales and parts of Manchester. Derived from the popular brand Lambert & Butler.
Winston: How many Berts can you smoke in twenty minutes?

Royston: At least twenty Berts, Marra.
by Bert420 May 10, 2012
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Any random old guy you see on the street, especially a weird-looking/badly behaved one. Often used together with descriptors such as "beer gut Bert", "ugly sweater Bert" and "angry Bert".
Dirty Bert over there just grabbed a boob!
by meowlnir July 2, 2016
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Multiple Usage

Term used for misfortune, badluck, substandardness.

Org: Originates from Derry in Northern Ireland where a local chip shop, named Berty O'Neills, famed for its bad chips, was coined into a phrase for most bad things.

Original the whole term was used.
"Went to see a movie. It was pure berty o'neills".

Later shortend to "Berties".
"Drinking alcholic free beer is pure berties"

and finally to Bert.
"Went up the town and all the shops where closed. Pure bert"

Can also be used:

"Did you see that bert. He just flipped his berty bike and landed on his head. Bert one"

trans: "Did you see that idiot. He just flipped his stupid bike and landed in his head. Shit one"

berty - Used before a person, place, thing
Bert One - Shit one
Bertness - Shityness
Ya Bert - You Idiot.
by Gerard Harkin April 15, 2006
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A code name used when talking about your boss in public. This protects you from the unlikely event that the person at the next table is the boss' next door neighbour, brother, in-law or tennis partner.
Joe: "I hear Bert's new girlfriend has a bit of a coke habit"

Gary: "I'd like to hang that prick over a river of burning acid and give scissors to the last 5 people he has destroyed".

Joe: "Yeah, me too. I hate Bert"
by 4sail July 17, 2006
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