65 definitions by Pantaloon

1)to spend time with beautiful women coming on to you with no possible consequences (it was the sixties), and yet avoid getting laid for seven years. I mean, WTF?
I'm pretty sure Herman Munster or Eddie Haskell wouldn't have pulled a Gilligan if they had their druthers.
by Pantaloon January 28, 2008
Sometimes known as a gunt, but pronounced enough to look like a Wilson attached to a vagina. Does not bounce true from in the paint.
She wasn't pregnant, but the basketball pussy was enough to keep the fellas from asking for a dance.
by Pantaloon January 7, 2008
Verb found in alien cookbook to serve man- cause of rising stock prices, sedation and weight gain of local population in US and China, and utter destruction of all critical thinking.
1)Wal-Mart for twenty years or until meat is about to fall off the bone.
2)We were going to repair the washing machine but figured why not Wal-Mart it.
by Pantaloon January 4, 2008
Track marks left by underpants rubbing against a soiled starfish. Similar to skid marks, but lighter brown color. Almost beige. Possibly due to differences in diet from those who produce skid marks. Some studies have been done, but nothing conclusive has been published as this goes to print.
Girl, glancing at the floor- You don't have a hash mark in your boxers.
Fellow-You seem surprised.
Girl- Oh, most of the guys that come in here have them. 19 out of 20, I'd say.
Fellow, puffing out his chest- Well, then, thank you much. Is that what I smelled walked in here?
Girl-No, that's just my upper lip, from the Dirty Sanchez I had for breakfast.
Fellow- I thought you said I was your first!
Girl-Oh, yeah, you're right. I guess I must have just shit myself.
Fellow, relieved- Oh, Thank God!
by Pantaloon January 14, 2008
A phrase tacked onto the front of someone's name, be it friend, enemy, ex-girlfriend, girl who rejected you. Handy for the lobotomized.
Overheard, at the busstop;
Madison- "Sheissucha Ashley! Ohh, I hate her."
Kaitlin- "Did you get that from the Urban Dictionary? Cause that is f-in' brilliant! The entry I read said that 'Eva is a creative and sweet person, who I would love to to diddle.'" I crossed referenced diddle, and that means you would like to 'to touch or caress the genitals in some way.' Is that what you meant?
Madison- Oh, I don't know what I want! Why is growing up so angst-ridden? Aargh!
Kaitlin- Damn you Urban Dictionary, for confusing our hormonally supercharged adolescent brains more than ever! Curses to you, UD!
by Pantaloon January 18, 2008
turgid wet mix of poo that is ejected with a single flexing of the gut. Shrapnel splatter is an acceptable casualty, but the bulk of the pile should be a singular paddy centered directly under anus. Often accompanied by feeling of well being and accomplishment. Underreported as the Eureka moment it is.
He lowered himself and quenched. The mudshot was almost painful, it was so beautiful. He felt himself drawn to a bright light and people who had been long dead surrounded him. It's not your time yet, they told him. There is much wiping to do. When he opened his eyes, he knew what to do. He put in his notice at work and bought a Harley that afternoon.
by Pantaloon January 9, 2008
1)European word for cell phone.
2)Also known as coochie war cry, the slapping of the hand furiously against the vagina to arouse the warriors.
3)hand job.
4)A short skirt with little or no undergarmentry, to allow ready access.
1)We were able to get three bars on the Handy when we took the u-bahn Unter dem Linden.
2)Vera asked me for a Handie before she went in to ask for a raise. She leaned her backend across the aisle and I was able to slap her waggle silly from the comfort of my own cubicle.
3)Before the big sales presentation, I asked Wendy for a handy, just to steady my nerves, but she would only give me a bronski and a hummer.
4)Sarah wore a handy into the office, and was ready for dictation with minimal fabric displacement.
by Pantaloon January 15, 2008