The Constitution

A wonderful document created by eighteenth-century enlightenment thinkers. Conservative pundits often pretend to know what it is or what it says. One of seven words in the vocabulary of Sean Hannity.

Conservative Sean: You can't pass a bill protecting clean drinking water! It's against The Constitution!
Liberal Joe: How so?
Conservative Sean: It just is! It's socialism!
Liberal Joe: OK, Boomer

by Notdevinnunes November 24, 2019

William Barr

A character in the Handmaid's Tale that somehow got out of my TV and is now in the Trump administration.

I'm feeling like sending those women back to the kitchen! I guess I'm a bit of a William Barr.

by Notdevinnunes November 24, 2019

Pete Hegseth

A pseudo-patriot on Faux News. The one thing smarmier than Sean Hannity and nastier than Truffle Butter.

Steve: I bet you don't own 51 American flags! You must hate this country!
Sarah: You're being a Pete Hegseth. Go suck off Putin!
Steve: I already have!

by Notdevinnunes November 24, 2019

The elite

An ill-defined group in American politics who are the constant target of Republicans and Democrats, though their definitions differ. In reality, "The elite" is just a group that's smarter than you and better fit to govern.

John: I voted for Trump because I'm sick of The Establishment bro! Down with The elite!
Jake: Better "The elite" than you, you fuck face.

by Notdevinnunes November 24, 2019

Stormy Daniels

A brilliant female entrepreneur. Trump used to enjoy her company, but he now has Sean Hannity.

Tom: Is that Stormy Daniels?
Joe: No, don't be stupid! That's Sean Hannity! You can tell because he's on his knees licking Trump's arse!
Tom: I feel stupid.

by Notdevinnunes November 24, 2019

Socialism

Anything old conservatives claim to hate at this particular moment, from gay sex to clean air, and even literacy.

Schools indoctrinate kids with Socialism! They teach them how to read!

by Notdevinnunes November 24, 2019

Fake News

I term you hopelessly deploy when a liberal (or even an anti-Trump Republican) has you cornered. It's the Hail Mary of debates. Must be said with crazy hand gestures.

I don't believe you that Trump did anything wrong! That's Fake News!

by Notdevinnunes November 24, 2019