Maxhole's definitions

payhole

payhole (pey hole) NOUN. A body orifice used to earn money, i.e. a mouth, vagina, anus, nostrils or ears.

Dick- Oh, stick it in your payhole, Jane.

Jane- Which one?

Dick- How many payholes do you have?

Jane- Seven.

Dick- WTF?! You do not!

Jane- (counting off her fingers.) Pussy is one, asshole is two, mouth is three, right ear is four, left ear is five, right nostril is six, left nostril makes seven.

Dick- How much do you charge for a nostrilfuck?

Jane- Right or left?

Dick- is there a difference?

Jane- Righty tighty, lefty loosey, as daddy used to say.

Dick- Your daddy is a sick fuck.

Jane- That must be why I'm with you, Dick.

Dick- You know how much I hate it when you're smarter than me.

Jane- OHHHH, so that's why you're always trying to fuck my brains out. And I thought you liked me.

Dick- Get real. I'm only with you because you give great nose. C'mere, you.

(snorting noises, laughter)

Dick- THAT WAS AWESOME!!!

Jane- I do what I can.

Dick- I want to take you home to meet Mom.

Jane- What's she like?

Dick- Well, her left nostril is a lot bigger than her right one...

by Maxhole June 22, 2009

Halfgonistan

Halfgonistan (haf gon iss tan) NOUN. A country or place which has been half destroyed by war. From “half gone” and “Afghanistan.”

Dude, I lived in Richmond for a year, right across from the oil refinery that kept leaking poison gas. I saw junkies shooting up in my driveway, the landlord test-fired stolen guns in his living room and every Saturday night, automatic weapons fire. "BRAAAP BRAAAP!" "POP-POP-POP-POP!" "BOOM!" There was burned patch on our roof from a fucking Molotov Cocktail. It was like living in Halfgonistan.

by Maxhole June 20, 2009

homolester

homolester (ho mo les ter) NOUN. A person who enjoys bothering homosexuals.

Me- Why did you yell "faggot" at Mark?

Todd- Because I hate him.

Me- What did he ever do to you?

Todd- Nothing.

Me- So why bug him?

Todd- Because he's a queer.

Me- How do you even know?

Todd- I heard him on the phone with his boyfriend.

Me- Quit being such a homolester.

by Maxhole June 20, 2009

fudgeograph

fudgeograph (fudj og raf) NOUN. A faked photograph.
A picture that has been 'fudged' to alter it from its original appearance.

See that airbrush work on her cleavage? And how there's no wrinkles or creases at all? This isn't a photograph, it's been altered. It's a fudgeograph.

The Loch Ness monster just doesn't have tits like that.

by Maxhole June 20, 2009

spoogickle

spoogickle (spoo jik ul) NOUN. A subatomic particle of spooge. Or, a popsicle made of spooge.

The spoogickle is the smallest and slipperiest of the subatomic particles. This elusive, highly energetic particle can be found around high schools, especially in P.E. class, or that English class with the really hot teacher.

by Maxhole June 24, 2009

spagitated

spagitated (spa ji tay ted) ADJECTIVE. To be anxious and clumsy. From “spastic” and “agitated.”

Him- Fuck, Fuck, FUUUCCK! I ccccan't even strike a fffucking mmmatch!
Her- Let me tttry.
Him- Fffine, you tttry it!
Her- My ffffingers aren't working, they're tttoo cccold. Goddammit! I dropped the mmmatches.
Him- Ddddon't get all spagitated.
Her- I'm not spagitated, it's just freezing and you kkkkeep shouting.
Him- Sorry. Hey...
Her- Cut it out, I'm trying to start a fire.
Him- So am I.
Her- Oh! MMmmmmm.
Him- Waitaminute... Gggoddamn fucking zipper... WORK, DAMN YOU!
Her- Now who's spagitated?

(Loud ripping sound)

Her- Well, that's ONE way to get your jacket off.
Him- Shut up and kkkiss me.

by Maxhole June 23, 2009

wiggleize

wiggleize (wig el ized) ADJECTIVE. To make a person, place or thing wiggle, jiggle and shake.

I'm gonna wiggleize you until you piss yourself laughing.

by Maxhole June 25, 2009