Maxhole's definitions

dodograph

dodograph (doh doh graf) NOUN. A stupid photograph, or a picture made using obsolete technology, such as Daguerrotype or Polaroid SX-70. From the extinct bird, "dodo" and "photograph."

I found a shot of my brother with his '70s hair, bell bottom jeans, a big, poofy down jacket and the best thing about it is that it's a genuine Polaroid dodograph.

by Maxhole June 19, 2009

Congresstard

Congresstard (kon gres tard) NOUN. An especially idiotic member of the U.S. Congress.

Who's the biggest congresstard, Michelle Bachmann or John Shimkus?

by Maxhole June 19, 2009

declarify

declarify (de klair if eye) VERB. To explain something so badly that it becomes meaningless.

Bushtard keeps trying to declarify his reason for going to war in Iraq. First it was to be a wartime president, then it was revenge for 9/11, then he wanted their weapons of mass destruction, then he had to get Saddam. Next he had to spread democracy, after that, it was to liberate the Iraqis and finally he's claiming the Democrats forced him to go to war.

by Maxhole June 19, 2009

fudgeograph

fudgeograph (fudj og raf) NOUN. A faked photograph.
A picture that has been 'fudged' to alter it from its original appearance.

See that airbrush work on her cleavage? And how there's no wrinkles or creases at all? This isn't a photograph, it's been altered. It's a fudgeograph.

The Loch Ness monster just doesn't have tits like that.

by Maxhole June 20, 2009

payhole

payhole (pey hole) NOUN. A body orifice used to earn money, i.e. a mouth, vagina, anus, nostrils or ears.

Dick- Oh, stick it in your payhole, Jane.

Jane- Which one?

Dick- How many payholes do you have?

Jane- Seven.

Dick- WTF?! You do not!

Jane- (counting off her fingers.) Pussy is one, asshole is two, mouth is three, right ear is four, left ear is five, right nostril is six, left nostril makes seven.

Dick- How much do you charge for a nostrilfuck?

Jane- Right or left?

Dick- is there a difference?

Jane- Righty tighty, lefty loosey, as daddy used to say.

Dick- Your daddy is a sick fuck.

Jane- That must be why I'm with you, Dick.

Dick- You know how much I hate it when you're smarter than me.

Jane- OHHHH, so that's why you're always trying to fuck my brains out. And I thought you liked me.

Dick- Get real. I'm only with you because you give great nose. C'mere, you.

(snorting noises, laughter)

Dick- THAT WAS AWESOME!!!

Jane- I do what I can.

Dick- I want to take you home to meet Mom.

Jane- What's she like?

Dick- Well, her left nostril is a lot bigger than her right one...

by Maxhole June 22, 2009

Halfgonistan

Halfgonistan (haf gon iss tan) NOUN. A country or place which has been half destroyed by war. From “half gone” and “Afghanistan.”

Dude, I lived in Richmond for a year, right across from the oil refinery that kept leaking poison gas. I saw junkies shooting up in my driveway, the landlord test-fired stolen guns in his living room and every Saturday night, automatic weapons fire. "BRAAAP BRAAAP!" "POP-POP-POP-POP!" "BOOM!" There was burned patch on our roof from a fucking Molotov Cocktail. It was like living in Halfgonistan.

by Maxhole June 20, 2009

pervertical

pervertical (per vur tih kul) ADJECTIVE. To be like a pervert. To have something in common with a deviant mind. Being aligned with demented and dangerous ideas.

Neil- So I fired my degaussing cannon, which erased all her bank cards. She was stuck in the middle of Shitsville with no money and no way to get home. Know what I did next?

Tommy- You gave her a hundred bucks so she'd give you her phone number so she could pay you back. And maybe give you a gratitude fuck.

Neil- HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

Tommy- We're pervertical.

Neil- Yeah, we kinda are.

Tommy- So, did you fuck her?

Neil- Nah, I want to sabotage her car and rescue her from a burning building first. Then she'll REALLY let me do all kinds of sick shit on her.

Tommy- You're such a romantic.

by Maxhole June 22, 2009