payhole

payhole (pey hole) NOUN. A body orifice used to earn money, i.e. a mouth, vagina, anus, nostrils or ears.

Dick- Oh, stick it in your payhole, Jane.

Jane- Which one?

Dick- How many payholes do you have?

Jane- Seven.

Dick- WTF?! You do not!

Jane- (counting off her fingers.) Pussy is one, asshole is two, mouth is three, right ear is four, left ear is five, right nostril is six, left nostril makes seven.

Dick- How much do you charge for a nostrilfuck?

Jane- Right or left?

Dick- is there a difference?

Jane- Righty tighty, lefty loosey, as daddy used to say.

Dick- Your daddy is a sick fuck.

Jane- That must be why I'm with you, Dick.

Dick- You know how much I hate it when you're smarter than me.

Jane- OHHHH, so that's why you're always trying to fuck my brains out. And I thought you liked me.

Dick- Get real. I'm only with you because you give great nose. C'mere, you.

(snorting noises, laughter)

Dick- THAT WAS AWESOME!!!

Jane- I do what I can.

Dick- I want to take you home to meet Mom.

Jane- What's she like?

Dick- Well, her left nostril is a lot bigger than her right one...

by Maxhole June 21, 2009

Rondroid

Rondroid (ron droid) NOUN. The seductively bland people who loiter in busy public places asking young people to take their “free personality test.”

My friend Jamie took their free personality test.

They didn't like the results, so the Rondroids locked her in the testing room. She was screaming and pounding on the door. They left her in there for hours. She thought they were going to kill her. She had to kick a hole in the door to get out, and they tried to have her arrested for trespassing and property destruction.

They're such lovely people.

by Maxhole June 22, 2009

presidunce

presidunce (prez id unts) NOUN. A person appointed to the presidency by back room deals because of his criminality or incompetence, to further criminal enterprises. (See Ulysses S. Grant, Warren G. Harding, Calvin Coolidge, Herbert Hoover, William Howard Taft, William Henry Harrison, Richard Milhouse Nixon, Ronald Reagan, George Herbert Walker Bush, George Walker Bush) From “president” and “dunce.”

You got your evil presidunces and your incompetent presidunces, but how do you top a man who says, "They never stop thinking of ways to hurt our country, and neither do we."

by Maxhole June 22, 2009

Halfgonistan

Halfgonistan (haf gon iss tan) NOUN. A country or place which has been half destroyed by war. From “half gone” and “Afghanistan.”

Dude, I lived in Richmond for a year, right across from the oil refinery that kept leaking poison gas. I saw junkies shooting up in my driveway, the landlord test-fired stolen guns in his living room and every Saturday night, automatic weapons fire. "BRAAAP BRAAAP!" "POP-POP-POP-POP!" "BOOM!" There was burned patch on our roof from a fucking Molotov Cocktail. It was like living in Halfgonistan.

by Maxhole June 21, 2009

facthole

facthole (fakt hole) NOUN. A place where information goes, never to return.

I told you a dozen times before and you forgot like you always do, you senile facthole!

by Maxhole June 20, 2009

hagazine

hagazine (hag uzz een) NOUN. A magazine for or about ugly old women.

Me - Everyone in that rag is a withered old crone from Orange County with five facelifts and three dead husbands. Yer creepin' me out, girl. Why are you reading that hagazine?

Her - Shut up, I'm doing my anthropology homework on early humans.

by Maxhole June 21, 2009

squorp

squorp (skworp) NOUN. The squishing, bubbling sound of a boot pulled from a mudhole.

"Every few seconds the sow would shudder and 'squorp,' out would pop another piglet like a melon seed.

by Maxhole June 19, 2009