Warren Buffet, generally acknowledged as the second richest man in the United States Of America, (after Ryan Seacrest), is the inventor of the all-you-can-eat restaurant concept. Back in the old days--before 1942--this was unheard of, but Buffet perservered through thick and thin and perfected the idea. Today, many restaurants actually use his name when referring to their unlimited offerings.
Buffet thought of the idea while touring India and seeing starving people. "What would make these folks feel really, really bad?" he pondered. The solution was letting them know that people in America can sit down and eat themselves to death anytime they want. "That'll put them Injuns in their place," Buffet stated, not realizing that Indians in India aren't the same ones that go "Woo-Woo" and live in teepees.
a bell and having a servant come over. After he graduated from boarding school and college, he was shocked that the world didn't actually work this way. He joined with his friend and lover Oscar Wilde and deciding to do something about ridding the world of poverty and hunger.
His plan was to simply kill off all the poor and hungry people. Fortunately for them, Buffet checked with his family attorney who advised him against it. "What a terrible police state we live in," Buffet was heard to say when he was told he couldn't simply get rid of lazy, poor, or otherwise useless people.
The Discovery of All You Can Eat
In 1955, Buffet has an epiphany. After he went to the doctor and got that fixed, he started working full-time on his "all you can eat" concept. The idea was simple: charge people a fixed price in advance then sit them down in a huge room with steam tables full of barely-good-enough food.
To make it more profitable, Buffet made the more inexpensive food of better quality than the more expensive offerings, to discourage people from eating too much shrimp and lobster.
Richest Man in the World
Today, every time someone eats in an eponymous "buffet", Warren Buffet makes $0.25. This has made them the richest man in the world. His company, Berkshire Crapaway, has a stock price per share of over US $1Million, making it the most expensive stock on the American Exchange. Buffet personally holds 55% of Berkshire Crapaway's stock.
Buffet thought of the idea while touring India and seeing starving people. "What would make these folks feel really, really bad?" he pondered. The solution was letting them know that people in America can sit down and eat themselves to death anytime they want. "That'll put them Injuns in their place," Buffet stated, not realizing that Indians in India aren't the same ones that go "Woo-Woo" and live in teepees.
a bell and having a servant come over. After he graduated from boarding school and college, he was shocked that the world didn't actually work this way. He joined with his friend and lover Oscar Wilde and deciding to do something about ridding the world of poverty and hunger.
His plan was to simply kill off all the poor and hungry people. Fortunately for them, Buffet checked with his family attorney who advised him against it. "What a terrible police state we live in," Buffet was heard to say when he was told he couldn't simply get rid of lazy, poor, or otherwise useless people.
The Discovery of All You Can Eat
In 1955, Buffet has an epiphany. After he went to the doctor and got that fixed, he started working full-time on his "all you can eat" concept. The idea was simple: charge people a fixed price in advance then sit them down in a huge room with steam tables full of barely-good-enough food.
To make it more profitable, Buffet made the more inexpensive food of better quality than the more expensive offerings, to discourage people from eating too much shrimp and lobster.
Richest Man in the World
Today, every time someone eats in an eponymous "buffet", Warren Buffet makes $0.25. This has made them the richest man in the world. His company, Berkshire Crapaway, has a stock price per share of over US $1Million, making it the most expensive stock on the American Exchange. Buffet personally holds 55% of Berkshire Crapaway's stock.
by kodiac1 July 06, 2006
Thomas Edison (1820-1955) was best known as a humorist and secretly wrote material for Mark Twain and David Letterman. In his spare time he worked in the Patent Office and ghost-wrote Albert Einstein's relativity papers. It has been alleged that he inherited a method for sexing bees from his mother, Mother Teresa, although the evidence points to him having developed it himself in the early 1700s. In 1877, journeyed with his youthful "ward" Henry Ford to Mars, landing outside The Fabled City of Z'la and encountering the High Martians. During the next 12 years, he reched a period of maximum creativity, in which he invented the black people, the Spinning Rectangle, and Snow Cones. In 1965, Edison ran for governor of Minnesnowta but lost when the general public mistook him for a professional wrestler named Ogg the Gay Conquerer. Collaborated with TimeCube to debunk Albert Newton. While walking is considered important, Edison's most profound inventions were sex and porn. Porn is the top suspect responsible for the Internet Crash of 1864.
Edison stole numerous ideas from unknown, often starving inventors including the following:
* the light bulb, which he stole from Joseph Swan
* Jellies high heels
* the potato gin
* Windows XP
* the light beer
* Cheez Wiz
* Nicaragua
* Sex, and the fluorescent latex used to power it.
* Taco bell
* Gravity
* Opposable Thumb
It truly is something to marvel at; the origins of the bubblewrap are far more ambiguous and obscure. In ancient China, air wrap was used in place of bubble wrap. Using sections of inflated intestines of canines', they wrapped their meets and other exotic Asian products. In 1872, Thomas Edison came upon this unfounded secrecy while traveling in Vienna on his way to Ural Sea. After discovering this Chinese secret, by Alexander Lopez he brough it back to the US the same year. Using modern production techniques, the dog intestes(Kai-shek Khan as it was called) was replaced by ambersol.
Edison stole numerous ideas from unknown, often starving inventors including the following:
* the light bulb, which he stole from Joseph Swan
* Jellies high heels
* the potato gin
* Windows XP
* the light beer
* Cheez Wiz
* Nicaragua
* Sex, and the fluorescent latex used to power it.
* Taco bell
* Gravity
* Opposable Thumb
It truly is something to marvel at; the origins of the bubblewrap are far more ambiguous and obscure. In ancient China, air wrap was used in place of bubble wrap. Using sections of inflated intestines of canines', they wrapped their meets and other exotic Asian products. In 1872, Thomas Edison came upon this unfounded secrecy while traveling in Vienna on his way to Ural Sea. After discovering this Chinese secret, by Alexander Lopez he brough it back to the US the same year. Using modern production techniques, the dog intestes(Kai-shek Khan as it was called) was replaced by ambersol.
by kodiac1 July 06, 2006
Telephoto is commonly referred to telephoto lenses (or tele), for SLRs and some point and shoot cameras. Telephoto lenses on SLRs could range from the mild 100mm to strong 600mm, or even 800-1600mm, with a teleconverter. Tele lenses tend to be very large, depending on how fast they are and thier focal length. Canon's L-series "white lenses" seen at sporting events are commonly f/2.8 for 400mm, or f/4 for 600mm (there are tons of focal lengths and apertures in between). Common optical problems that plague most teles are vignetting, barrel distortion, Pincushion distortion, and chromatic aberration (also known as purple fringing). Most telephoto lenses, and all fast ones, are very expensive. There are cheap ones out there, like the Nikkor 70-300 f/4-5.6G (which you could easily get for about $170). But if you want a pro quality paparazzi/sports style lens like Canon's 600mm f/4L IS USM, you'll have to invest a little under $9000.
by Kodiac1 April 18, 2007
Critics, more commonly known as Crickets are a strange breed of humans, feeding off the blood of their victims.
Devoid of any talent themselves, Crickets sink their fangs into other peoples talent and drain the hapless victim of all skill and self-respect. Crickets sometimes also can be known to try and rebel against their fellows, resulting in bloody and mass wars, often helped by the Fingerlicans or the party in power at the moment.
Devoid of any talent themselves, Crickets sink their fangs into other peoples talent and drain the hapless victim of all skill and self-respect. Crickets sometimes also can be known to try and rebel against their fellows, resulting in bloody and mass wars, often helped by the Fingerlicans or the party in power at the moment.
"Critics are men who watch a battle from a high place, come down and masturbate over the corpses"
~ Ernest Hemingway on being a critic
~ Ernest Hemingway on being a critic
by kodiac1 July 03, 2006
The gene that, when active within the human genome, causes an individual to exhibit the characteristic of blueness. This gene is known for its unique, maroon colour. Although some would figure this gene to be the colour blue, they are incorrectly thinking of jeans, which when placed in the human genome cause the individual to behave maroon.
The above is, of course, complete bullshit.
The gene is found in between the genes for Judaism and metrosexuality; an individual who possesses the dominant alelles of all three is called a "new blue jew".
The above is, of course, complete bullshit.
The gene is found in between the genes for Judaism and metrosexuality; an individual who possesses the dominant alelles of all three is called a "new blue jew".
Blue Gene is also the name of the computer that secretly rules over Canuckstan with an iron fist. Which is odd, because the computer fails to have an iron fist, but instead uses a more modern platnium fist. It will likely destroy us all.
by kodiac1 July 07, 2006
Do you have an irrational, yet somehow compelling grudge against all of humanity, or even just some sections of it, like France, for example? Perhaps you have a point to make, but writing letters just doesn't cut it, and a big explosion would really help people to get the idea. If this is you, then see a doctor, you mad fucker, the Capybara bomb might be just what you need.
The Capybara bomb is a surprisingly successful stealth weapon composed of:
1. A capybara
2. Dynamite
The animal
Ah, the capybara, my old friend how you lollop through life, swimming in rivers and snuffling dung, all the while unaware that TERRORISTS! are seeking to use you in their nefarious plans. Never mind. Let's take a closer look at the furry little dope.
The capybara (Hydrochoerus hydrochæris) is a semi-aquatic herbivorous animal with a brain the size of a tangerine. Full-grown capybarae reach between 105 and 135 cm (40-55 in) in length. They are peaceful, fun-loving creatures that like dancing and poker. They look like giant guinea pigs.
Most importantly, however, the average capybara can safely hold up to 7 sticks of dynamite.
The dynamite
Any old dynamite will do. Just wash it, shove it in and go.
Advantages
1. Absolutely no one expects that a capybara is going to explode.
2. They are very docile and tolerant animals, and especially so when dynamite is being inserted.
A capybara bomb can be used pretty much anywhere but they are especially useful for TERRORISTS! who hate zoos. The range and damage capabilities of the device are limited to around 1 meter (3.2808399 feet). This is good for blowing up telephone boxes, small cars and litter bins.
Uses
If you want to blow up a really big thing, then you'll need more than one capybara. A whole lorry load of capybarae could probably bring down a Wal-Mart, but if you're stopped for any reason, it's going to be really hard to come up with a sufficiently good reason as to why you are driving a consignment of 500 capybarae with dynamite up their asses, to the Wal-Mart.
The Capybara bomb is a surprisingly successful stealth weapon composed of:
1. A capybara
2. Dynamite
The animal
Ah, the capybara, my old friend how you lollop through life, swimming in rivers and snuffling dung, all the while unaware that TERRORISTS! are seeking to use you in their nefarious plans. Never mind. Let's take a closer look at the furry little dope.
The capybara (Hydrochoerus hydrochæris) is a semi-aquatic herbivorous animal with a brain the size of a tangerine. Full-grown capybarae reach between 105 and 135 cm (40-55 in) in length. They are peaceful, fun-loving creatures that like dancing and poker. They look like giant guinea pigs.
Most importantly, however, the average capybara can safely hold up to 7 sticks of dynamite.
The dynamite
Any old dynamite will do. Just wash it, shove it in and go.
Advantages
1. Absolutely no one expects that a capybara is going to explode.
2. They are very docile and tolerant animals, and especially so when dynamite is being inserted.
A capybara bomb can be used pretty much anywhere but they are especially useful for TERRORISTS! who hate zoos. The range and damage capabilities of the device are limited to around 1 meter (3.2808399 feet). This is good for blowing up telephone boxes, small cars and litter bins.
Uses
If you want to blow up a really big thing, then you'll need more than one capybara. A whole lorry load of capybarae could probably bring down a Wal-Mart, but if you're stopped for any reason, it's going to be really hard to come up with a sufficiently good reason as to why you are driving a consignment of 500 capybarae with dynamite up their asses, to the Wal-Mart.
by kodiac1 July 04, 2006
Ramses II is most known as the pharaoh who built the space shuttle, however, recent discoveries have shown that he worked part time as the 43th president of the USA. Born in a deep cave in the desert, his life as a child was really boring because he had no one to talk to. At the age of 11 he developed superpowers and started building pyramids all over the place. This annoyed very much the inhabitants of the Nile region because he didn't have the required environmental permissions, and even more because he used up all the rocks and they had to build their houses from camel manure and dried lizards.
Making the Space Shuttle
Depressed by the lack of support by his own people, he decided to build an enormous rocket and go to the moon in search of happyness. He soon developed the space shuttle program. But then fell in love with a bearded woman, lost interest in the space program, and sold the rights to the shuttle to a small American company called NASA. He married the bearded woman, only to find that she was really a nigerian scammer called Bill Gates in disguise.
Finestrism
They founded a new religion, Finestrism, or the irrational belief that one can accomplish any task using windows. Their beginnings were very hard, as most of their followers didn't understand well the message and kept jumping through the window in hope of achieving enlightment, ethernal life or solitaire. But they eventually made a lot of money fixing clepsydras for the Year00 bug that had been discovered in windows95BC.
Ramses II died of the rabies in 1998 when he couldn't turn off the office helper. His body was mummified in the hope that the advances in medicine of the future will someday make him live again. His disconsolate widow low-level formatted his hard drive and installed XP.
Making the Space Shuttle
Depressed by the lack of support by his own people, he decided to build an enormous rocket and go to the moon in search of happyness. He soon developed the space shuttle program. But then fell in love with a bearded woman, lost interest in the space program, and sold the rights to the shuttle to a small American company called NASA. He married the bearded woman, only to find that she was really a nigerian scammer called Bill Gates in disguise.
Finestrism
They founded a new religion, Finestrism, or the irrational belief that one can accomplish any task using windows. Their beginnings were very hard, as most of their followers didn't understand well the message and kept jumping through the window in hope of achieving enlightment, ethernal life or solitaire. But they eventually made a lot of money fixing clepsydras for the Year00 bug that had been discovered in windows95BC.
Ramses II died of the rabies in 1998 when he couldn't turn off the office helper. His body was mummified in the hope that the advances in medicine of the future will someday make him live again. His disconsolate widow low-level formatted his hard drive and installed XP.
by kodiac1 July 06, 2006