FunkyBumpkin's definitions

Man DeLay

A male organ de-sensitizer that is the only way that piece of shit Tom DeLay can keep from jizzing himself anytime he contemplates his pact with Satan.

See also: Tom DeLay

In exchange for a soul, Tom DeLay chose a corrupt power grab and a case of "Man DeLay" to subdue his raging hard-on for Terri Schiavo, the only "living" woman who didn't threaten his fragile sense of masculinity with things like thought, speech, or any signs of being a human being rather than a baby-making factory with no right even to accurate information about contraception, let alone control over her own body and its reproductive organs.

by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005

gynophobe

1) one who is afraid of women. (this may mutate into outright misogyny if left untreated. An excellent remedy is for a considerate, reasonably sexy, sexually enthusiastic woman to fuck the gynophobe's brains out.)
2) a repressed woman afraid of her own vulva and/or sexuality.
3) an otherwise straight man who is too much of a pussy to perform cunnilingus.

See also: nice guy, prude, double standard, Republican, gangsta.

1) That Joe guy seems pretty nice, but he needs to get laid for all our sakes, he is such a gynophobe!
2) The gynophobes were out in force at the Ladies Bible Study Group.
3) Their sex-life progressing nicely, Alex & Tina bought some Tangerines & Cream lube at the "toy store" to slather on her yoni and get him past his inner gynophobe as he lapped it up that night.

by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005

Jaco

A type of a Taco, in which the meat is heavily seasoned with Oregano, and topped with ketchup. Named for a former roommate, Josh, whose family might possibly have invented this idiosyncratic blue-collar Italian variant on the most mainstream of Mexican dishes.

"Why the hell does it smell like chiles and spaghetti in here?"
"Oh, looks like my roommate's been making his famous, weird-ass Jacos."
"What the hell is a Jaco?"
"Here, try"
"Not bad. But who the hell puts oregano & ketchup in their taco mix?"

by FunkyBumpkin April 28, 2005

rock climbing

Of all so-called "extreme sports" (activities that about 1/2 the time are undertaken, or claimed to have been undertaken, by otherwise boring people in a desperate attempt to become interesting), this is probably the trendiest way to give yourself the affectation of ruggedness, danger, physical fitness, etc. Note that most people who express an interest in rock-climbing or purchase incidental gear such as carabiners, have never climbed and never will.

See also: posers, conformity of noncomformity, North Face, bungee jumping.

Inner thought bubble of "extreme sports" Aberzombie, "Dude, all the chicks will be on me if I wear this carabiner on my belt loop and talk about rock climbing! I better buy this magazine so I can look like I know what I'm talking about!"

by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005

alpha-male

1) the dominant member of a pack of wolves.
2) any person with a dominating personality, causing the assertion of or struggle for leadership in almost any situation.

While Dubya was busily pretending to be an alpha-male whilst getting coked up and going AWOL from his Air National Guard unit during Vietnam, John Kerry was matter-of-factly leading his swiftboat successfully through enemy fire in true alpha-male form.

by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005

Moop

from "Seinfeld", the "Moops" were the nation that conquered Spain & gave it the twinge of Islamic architecture seen to this day, according to the card George was reading from when playing Trivial Pursuit against the "Bubble Boy". Bubble Boy insisted, quite rightly, of course, that the answer was "Moors", but George being the prick that he was, wouldn't give him credit for the answer. The townspeople later drove out the fiendish George & Jerry for their mistreatment of the Bubble Boy.

Bubble Boy: It was the Moors! The MOORS!

George: No, I'm sorry, it was the Moops. The card clearly says, "Moops".

by FunkyBumpkin May 2, 2005

spackle

verb: to spray with cum, or to smear cum over your partner's skin, crease, or crack after ejaculating.

After pounding her in the ass, he pulled out and spackled her crack.

by FunkyBumpkin April 28, 2005