FunkyBumpkin's definitions

extreme sports

Highly over-publicized activities that at least half the time are undertaken or discussed by otherwise boring people in a desperate attempt to seem interesting. Posers are extraordinarily abundant, especially inThe Heartland. After all, how the hell does some kid in Nebraska go surfing, or rock-climbing in Iowa?

The purchased experiences of white-water rafting and bungee jumping gave Ned a sense that he was not a vanilla, SUV-driving corporate automaton, but a wild and crazy alpha-male living his life on the edge!

by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005

nice guy

A term used by a female for a male she does not find sexually interesting.

See also: friend or just a friend

One of life's great mysteries is how women can simultaneously complain about inconsiderate man-whores and the impossibility of finding a "nice guy", while sitting across from a hetero male friend who also has similar male friends that she has met but declined to date.

by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005

swattage

adj.: excellent.
The most exteme form of or epitome of what is being described in a favorable, enthusiastic manner. See also: killer, bomb, phat, tight, the sh!t, etc.

Dude, did you see that f*ckin' sword fight at the end of Kill Bill? That was SWATTAGE!

by FunkyBumpkin April 28, 2005

alpha-male

1) the dominant member of a pack of wolves.
2) any person with a dominating personality, causing the assertion of or struggle for leadership in almost any situation.

While Dubya was busily pretending to be an alpha-male whilst getting coked up and going AWOL from his Air National Guard unit during Vietnam, John Kerry was matter-of-factly leading his swiftboat successfully through enemy fire in true alpha-male form.

by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005

spackle

verb: to spray with cum, or to smear cum over your partner's skin, crease, or crack after ejaculating.

After pounding her in the ass, he pulled out and spackled her crack.

by FunkyBumpkin April 28, 2005

Jaco

A type of a Taco, in which the meat is heavily seasoned with Oregano, and topped with ketchup. Named for a former roommate, Josh, whose family might possibly have invented this idiosyncratic blue-collar Italian variant on the most mainstream of Mexican dishes.

"Why the hell does it smell like chiles and spaghetti in here?"
"Oh, looks like my roommate's been making his famous, weird-ass Jacos."
"What the hell is a Jaco?"
"Here, try"
"Not bad. But who the hell puts oregano & ketchup in their taco mix?"

by FunkyBumpkin April 28, 2005

dead elves

Referrring to a group of people that is no fun by virtue of acting like puritans, boy scouts, or for their failure to participate. Since the word "lame" has itself been very lame for quite some time, this new term has stepped in to fill that need.

"So did John & Lisa make it out to the club last night?"
"No! Those f*cking dead elves!"

by FunkyBumpkin April 28, 2005