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FunkyBumpkin's definitions

Jaco

A type of a Taco, in which the meat is heavily seasoned with Oregano, and topped with ketchup. Named for a former roommate, Josh, whose family might possibly have invented this idiosyncratic blue-collar Italian variant on the most mainstream of Mexican dishes.
"Why the hell does it smell like chiles and spaghetti in here?"
"Oh, looks like my roommate's been making his famous, weird-ass Jacos."
"What the hell is a Jaco?"
"Here, try"
"Not bad. But who the hell puts oregano & ketchup in their taco mix?"
by FunkyBumpkin April 28, 2005
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extreme sports

Highly over-publicized activities that at least half the time are undertaken or discussed by otherwise boring people in a desperate attempt to seem interesting. Posers are extraordinarily abundant, especially inThe Heartland. After all, how the hell does some kid in Nebraska go surfing, or rock-climbing in Iowa?
The purchased experiences of white-water rafting and bungee jumping gave Ned a sense that he was not a vanilla, SUV-driving corporate automaton, but a wild and crazy alpha-male living his life on the edge!
by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005
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nice guy

A term used by a female for a male she does not find sexually interesting.

See also: friend or just a friend
One of life's great mysteries is how women can simultaneously complain about inconsiderate man-whores and the impossibility of finding a "nice guy", while sitting across from a hetero male friend who also has similar male friends that she has met but declined to date.
by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005
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Moop

from "Seinfeld", the "Moops" were the nation that conquered Spain & gave it the twinge of Islamic architecture seen to this day, according to the card George was reading from when playing Trivial Pursuit against the "Bubble Boy". Bubble Boy insisted, quite rightly, of course, that the answer was "Moors", but George being the prick that he was, wouldn't give him credit for the answer. The townspeople later drove out the fiendish George & Jerry for their mistreatment of the Bubble Boy.
Bubble Boy: It was the Moors! The MOORS!

George: No, I'm sorry, it was the Moops. The card clearly says, "Moops".
by FunkyBumpkin May 2, 2005
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Democrat

of the 2 major political parties in America, this party or its politicians have a variety of bullshit, that although at times distressing, is often mixed with initiatives that actually prove helpful to people based on what appears to be a genuine concern for the citizenry. Democrat's bullshit is unique for being generally non-virulent to humanity at large and is thus tolerable in comparison to the bullshit of any other group which has historically wielded a similar level of political influence. The bullshit of Democrats is thus regrettable but rarely if ever dangerous. This is exceptionally noteworthy, as the necessary evil of politics by its very nature draws out humanity's most vulgar, deceitful, hycpocritical, duplicitous, oppressive, sanctimonious, arrogant, and self-serving interests and personalities. Luckily in America, these unsavory qualities have concentrated themselves to a truly extraordinary level in the Republican party, so that one who wishes to avoid these virulent and intolerable forms of bullshit can easily do so by supporting Democrats or any viable 3rd party (OK, OK... that little joke about 3rd parties was just to see if you're still reading), and vigilantly opposing Republicans and/or documenting the afforementioned evils inherent in any political system (I know that last part is redundant, since Republicans are themselves typically the evils in the system).
Democrat bullshit: One man gets a blow-job from a 21 year old woman. He doesn't admit it until the imminent potential for DNA evidence to back up the woman's story embarrasses him enough to confess.

Republican bullshit: Far too vile and lengthy a list to go into, but perhaps its most dangerous and virulent outbreaks in recent memory include submitting forged documents to the entire world in order to bolster a "rally to unnecessary war in Iraq" campaign based on blind ideology, a series of deliberate deceptions, and the unethical intimidation of professional intelligence officers, rather than on pragmatic realities. This served to destroy America's credibility and drastically weaken the War on Terror. Worst of all, it has so far resulted in the deaths of at least 1600 American troops, many thousands more American troops severely maimed and scarred for life, as well as 10's of 1000's of ordinary Iraqis whose "liberation" from their brutal dictator came in the form of death by American armaments for no good reason, and at a price tag of well over $300 BILLION dollars, with no end in sight! (incidentally, less than 3% of that total could completely update America's schools for the 21st century, a modest portion could have funded all the research we need to make alternative energy commercially viable so we can be truly independent and tell the Islamic wackos to shove their oil up their ass, and still have a boatload of cash left over for whatever you want to do with it - pay down the deficit, invest in Social Security, or anything else!!)
by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005
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Man DeLay

A male organ de-sensitizer that is the only way that piece of shit Tom DeLay can keep from jizzing himself anytime he contemplates his pact with Satan.

See also: Tom DeLay
In exchange for a soul, Tom DeLay chose a corrupt power grab and a case of "Man DeLay" to subdue his raging hard-on for Terri Schiavo, the only "living" woman who didn't threaten his fragile sense of masculinity with things like thought, speech, or any signs of being a human being rather than a baby-making factory with no right even to accurate information about contraception, let alone control over her own body and its reproductive organs.
by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005
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dead elves

Referrring to a group of people that is no fun by virtue of acting like puritans, boy scouts, or for their failure to participate. Since the word "lame" has itself been very lame for quite some time, this new term has stepped in to fill that need.
"So did John & Lisa make it out to the club last night?"
"No! Those f*cking dead elves!"
by FunkyBumpkin April 28, 2005
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