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FunkyBumpkin's definitions

Jaco

A type of a Taco, in which the meat is heavily seasoned with Oregano, and topped with ketchup. Named for a former roommate, Josh, whose family might possibly have invented this idiosyncratic blue-collar Italian variant on the most mainstream of Mexican dishes.
"Why the hell does it smell like chiles and spaghetti in here?"
"Oh, looks like my roommate's been making his famous, weird-ass Jacos."
"What the hell is a Jaco?"
"Here, try"
"Not bad. But who the hell puts oregano & ketchup in their taco mix?"
by FunkyBumpkin April 28, 2005
mugGet the Jacomug.

North Face

1) A well-known brand of very high quality outdoor gear, especially jackets, backpacks, and tents.

2) A brand-name that has regrettably been appropriated by thugs and yuppies alike as a way of either projecting an image of wealth or interest in rugged activities and the great outdoors.
I was talking to this guy at the trailhead, and noticed that even though his North Face pack had to be a good 15-20 years old and faded from the sun, it wasn't ripped and all the seams were still solid! I hope my Gore-tex jacket lasts that long.
by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005
mugGet the North Facemug.

dirt billy

Much like a hillbilly, but even lower on the scale, since here in Michigan, they don't even have the benefit of a hill's potential scenic value, since the land is so damn flat. These ass-backward bumblefucks are just out the middle of big flat nowhere with nothing but dirt. Characterized by decaying, halfway or completely caved-in barns, various cars or trucks on blocks with weeds growing up through them, "yards" cluttered and basically unmowable from so much junk, extreme ignorance, as well as paranoia in thinking that anybody is actually going to steal or vandalize their broken old crap.
After we went 4-wheeling down his fence-row (not even in the fields), to get to the riding trails, the dirtbilly neighbor came out with his shotgun and threatened to shoot us for "messin with his poperty".
by FunkyBumpkin May 25, 2005
mugGet the dirt billymug.

nice guy

A term used by a female for a male she does not find sexually interesting.

See also: friend or just a friend
One of life's great mysteries is how women can simultaneously complain about inconsiderate man-whores and the impossibility of finding a "nice guy", while sitting across from a hetero male friend who also has similar male friends that she has met but declined to date.
by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005
mugGet the nice guymug.

Democrat

of the 2 major political parties in America, this party or its politicians have a variety of bullshit, that although at times distressing, is often mixed with initiatives that actually prove helpful to people based on what appears to be a genuine concern for the citizenry. Democrat's bullshit is unique for being generally non-virulent to humanity at large and is thus tolerable in comparison to the bullshit of any other group which has historically wielded a similar level of political influence. The bullshit of Democrats is thus regrettable but rarely if ever dangerous. This is exceptionally noteworthy, as the necessary evil of politics by its very nature draws out humanity's most vulgar, deceitful, hycpocritical, duplicitous, oppressive, sanctimonious, arrogant, and self-serving interests and personalities. Luckily in America, these unsavory qualities have concentrated themselves to a truly extraordinary level in the Republican party, so that one who wishes to avoid these virulent and intolerable forms of bullshit can easily do so by supporting Democrats or any viable 3rd party (OK, OK... that little joke about 3rd parties was just to see if you're still reading), and vigilantly opposing Republicans and/or documenting the afforementioned evils inherent in any political system (I know that last part is redundant, since Republicans are themselves typically the evils in the system).
Democrat bullshit: One man gets a blow-job from a 21 year old woman. He doesn't admit it until the imminent potential for DNA evidence to back up the woman's story embarrasses him enough to confess.

Republican bullshit: Far too vile and lengthy a list to go into, but perhaps its most dangerous and virulent outbreaks in recent memory include submitting forged documents to the entire world in order to bolster a "rally to unnecessary war in Iraq" campaign based on blind ideology, a series of deliberate deceptions, and the unethical intimidation of professional intelligence officers, rather than on pragmatic realities. This served to destroy America's credibility and drastically weaken the War on Terror. Worst of all, it has so far resulted in the deaths of at least 1600 American troops, many thousands more American troops severely maimed and scarred for life, as well as 10's of 1000's of ordinary Iraqis whose "liberation" from their brutal dictator came in the form of death by American armaments for no good reason, and at a price tag of well over $300 BILLION dollars, with no end in sight! (incidentally, less than 3% of that total could completely update America's schools for the 21st century, a modest portion could have funded all the research we need to make alternative energy commercially viable so we can be truly independent and tell the Islamic wackos to shove their oil up their ass, and still have a boatload of cash left over for whatever you want to do with it - pay down the deficit, invest in Social Security, or anything else!!)
by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005
mugGet the Democratmug.

Well done

In culinary circles, an ironic term for red meat which has been drastically overcooked, destroying all or most of its flavor and rendering a toughness and texture akin to that of shoe leather.

ORIGINS: In fact, during the Great Depression, many restaurants and diners were unable to purchase enough beef, and began sneaking out at night to carve slices out of the uppers of the shoes & boots of bums sleeping in their doorways. This material was then soaked in a brine for several days, strained, and thrown on the grill just for any customers whose order specified their meat be cooked "fully through, till grey and thoroughly well done". As the most available brand of boots at the time were embossed with their maker's name, "Wellington", some experts believe the term well-done was simply a mistaken attempt to order some more of what the patron believed to be a famous "Wellington" brand steak. Since purchase of a brand name product in those days was associated with wealth and refinement, it is likely that in the early days, those ordering the "Wellington" steaks did so purely as an attempt to one-up their fellows or announce their status, despite its inferior pallatability when compared with less prestigious, non-branded steaks. Over time, the misguided confusion between a Wellington, a well-done, and displays of status became permanently lodged in the culture so that the destruction of otherwise good meat by this pauper's cooking method still persists to this very day.

Other scholars believe this term, or its equivalent, originated when an ancient cave-chef, totally inept at grilling meat, yet trying to get some (insert your favorite euphemism here) from a sexy naive young cave temptress, tried to hide his ineptitude and utter desicration of a choice cut of buffalo or whatever the hell they ate, by responding to her complaints about the meat's dryness and lack of flavor by saying, "You said you liked it cooked well. This is well-done. It is rare to get a steak that can safely be consumed with the center bloody and pinkish-red, and I didn't want you to get food poisoning." Cave languages being somewhat less verbally sophisticated, however, this would probably sound to the modern ear more like "unga bunga", accompanied by various gestures, snorts, and other ape-like movements.
"Isn't it funny how a steak that's well-done is anything but done well?"
by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005
mugGet the Well donemug.

extreme sports

Highly over-publicized activities that at least half the time are undertaken or discussed by otherwise boring people in a desperate attempt to seem interesting. Posers are extraordinarily abundant, especially inThe Heartland. After all, how the hell does some kid in Nebraska go surfing, or rock-climbing in Iowa?
The purchased experiences of white-water rafting and bungee jumping gave Ned a sense that he was not a vanilla, SUV-driving corporate automaton, but a wild and crazy alpha-male living his life on the edge!
by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005
mugGet the extreme sportsmug.

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