18 definitions by FunkyBumpkin

1) the dominant member of a pack of wolves.
2) any person with a dominating personality, causing the assertion of or struggle for leadership in almost any situation.
While Dubya was busily pretending to be an alpha-male whilst getting coked up and going AWOL from his Air National Guard unit during Vietnam, John Kerry was matter-of-factly leading his swiftboat successfully through enemy fire in true alpha-male form.
by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005
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Referrring to a group of people that is no fun by virtue of acting like puritans, boy scouts, or for their failure to participate. Since the word "lame" has itself been very lame for quite some time, this new term has stepped in to fill that need.
"So did John & Lisa make it out to the club last night?"
"No! Those f*cking dead elves!"
by FunkyBumpkin April 28, 2005
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of the 2 major political parties in America, this party or its politicians have a variety of bullshit, that although at times distressing, is often mixed with initiatives that actually prove helpful to people based on what appears to be a genuine concern for the citizenry. Democrat's bullshit is unique for being generally non-virulent to humanity at large and is thus tolerable in comparison to the bullshit of any other group which has historically wielded a similar level of political influence. The bullshit of Democrats is thus regrettable but rarely if ever dangerous. This is exceptionally noteworthy, as the necessary evil of politics by its very nature draws out humanity's most vulgar, deceitful, hycpocritical, duplicitous, oppressive, sanctimonious, arrogant, and self-serving interests and personalities. Luckily in America, these unsavory qualities have concentrated themselves to a truly extraordinary level in the Republican party, so that one who wishes to avoid these virulent and intolerable forms of bullshit can easily do so by supporting Democrats or any viable 3rd party (OK, OK... that little joke about 3rd parties was just to see if you're still reading), and vigilantly opposing Republicans and/or documenting the afforementioned evils inherent in any political system (I know that last part is redundant, since Republicans are themselves typically the evils in the system).
Democrat bullshit: One man gets a blow-job from a 21 year old woman. He doesn't admit it until the imminent potential for DNA evidence to back up the woman's story embarrasses him enough to confess.

Republican bullshit: Far too vile and lengthy a list to go into, but perhaps its most dangerous and virulent outbreaks in recent memory include submitting forged documents to the entire world in order to bolster a "rally to unnecessary war in Iraq" campaign based on blind ideology, a series of deliberate deceptions, and the unethical intimidation of professional intelligence officers, rather than on pragmatic realities. This served to destroy America's credibility and drastically weaken the War on Terror. Worst of all, it has so far resulted in the deaths of at least 1600 American troops, many thousands more American troops severely maimed and scarred for life, as well as 10's of 1000's of ordinary Iraqis whose "liberation" from their brutal dictator came in the form of death by American armaments for no good reason, and at a price tag of well over $300 BILLION dollars, with no end in sight! (incidentally, less than 3% of that total could completely update America's schools for the 21st century, a modest portion could have funded all the research we need to make alternative energy commercially viable so we can be truly independent and tell the Islamic wackos to shove their oil up their ass, and still have a boatload of cash left over for whatever you want to do with it - pay down the deficit, invest in Social Security, or anything else!!)
by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005
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1) removal of the frontal lobe of the brain, causing the "patient" to lose all capacity for higher thought, reason, etc. while still technically not considered a "vegetable".

2) a process that had been deemed unethical and barbaric, but has evidently been stealthily carried out on a truly massive scale, as shown by tell-tale symptoms of lobotomization such as:

"Calvin pissing" stickers, voting Republican, obsessive interest in NASCAR, membership in the NRA (as opposed to responsible hunting, fishing, and conservation groups), calling it "moral values" to tell lies in order to start unnecessary wars that kill or maim tens of thousands of people as well as to lie, cheat, and embezzle in a manner befitting of Enron, Halliburton, Arbusto Energy, or Tyco, to destroy God's Creations with irresponsible & reckless abandon, especially while simultaneously ignoring all principles of science and all available facts in order to promote a theocratic worldview in the guise of "intelligent design" (an indoctrination ironically similar to the Islamic fundamentalist wackos these same so-called Christians purport to be opposed to), promote the hatred of and discrimination against the economically disenfranchised or otherwise most vulnerable members of a society, particularly if it allows titillating discussion of sexual acts these same repressed prudes and closet-cases secretly fetishize under the flimsy pretense of "taking a moral stand".
That Dubya's a walking, talking lobotomy.
by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005
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A term used by a female for a male she does not find sexually interesting.

See also: friend or just a friend
One of life's great mysteries is how women can simultaneously complain about inconsiderate man-whores and the impossibility of finding a "nice guy", while sitting across from a hetero male friend who also has similar male friends that she has met but declined to date.
by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005
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from "Seinfeld", the "Moops" were the nation that conquered Spain & gave it the twinge of Islamic architecture seen to this day, according to the card George was reading from when playing Trivial Pursuit against the "Bubble Boy". Bubble Boy insisted, quite rightly, of course, that the answer was "Moors", but George being the prick that he was, wouldn't give him credit for the answer. The townspeople later drove out the fiendish George & Jerry for their mistreatment of the Bubble Boy.
Bubble Boy: It was the Moors! The MOORS!

George: No, I'm sorry, it was the Moops. The card clearly says, "Moops".
by FunkyBumpkin May 2, 2005
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Of all so-called "extreme sports" (activities that about 1/2 the time are undertaken, or claimed to have been undertaken, by otherwise boring people in a desperate attempt to become interesting), this is probably the trendiest way to give yourself the affectation of ruggedness, danger, physical fitness, etc. Note that most people who express an interest in rock-climbing or purchase incidental gear such as carabiners, have never climbed and never will.

See also: posers, conformity of noncomformity, North Face, bungee jumping.
Inner thought bubble of "extreme sports" Aberzombie, "Dude, all the chicks will be on me if I wear this carabiner on my belt loop and talk about rock climbing! I better buy this magazine so I can look like I know what I'm talking about!"
by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005
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