Definitions by Failurebitch
Autism
It's a spectrum, and it's genetic (not caused by milk, Tylenol, or vaccines like a bunch of stupid anti-science vegans and parents would like you to believe). It isn't contagious, so don't worry.Most of the time, you could walk past someone and not notice their condition unless you try to have a conversation with them. They have trouble making eye contact, come off as direct/awkward/aloof, and may show signs of ADHD. Not all people with the condition are stupid, non-verbal, childish, or violent contrary to what the media would like you to believe.
Some problems that the people have it face:
Lack of job stability
Poverty
Depression/suicide
Loneliness
Discrimination
Stereotyping
Misinformation (fuck you PETA and anti-vaxxers!!! đđŧ)
Addictions (drugs, alcohol, and/or gambling)
Obsessive compulsive behaviours
Bullying
Rape
Anxiety
Anti-science assholes on the internet
Abuse (whether it be at the hands of family, "friends", "lovers", or healthcare workers)
Lack of fulfillment in adulthood
Life with it is hard for the person who has it. They constantly feel like an outsider, a joke, an inconvinience, a loser, a failure, and/or an outcast. It's easy enough to make a few friends during their school days, but once adulthood hits, loneliness is a constant battle. Usually having a pet (dog or cat) helps, especially if they feel therapy or drugs (prescibed by a doctor) won't help.
Some problems that the people have it face:
Lack of job stability
Poverty
Depression/suicide
Loneliness
Discrimination
Stereotyping
Misinformation (fuck you PETA and anti-vaxxers!!! đđŧ)
Addictions (drugs, alcohol, and/or gambling)
Obsessive compulsive behaviours
Bullying
Rape
Anxiety
Anti-science assholes on the internet
Abuse (whether it be at the hands of family, "friends", "lovers", or healthcare workers)
Lack of fulfillment in adulthood
Life with it is hard for the person who has it. They constantly feel like an outsider, a joke, an inconvinience, a loser, a failure, and/or an outcast. It's easy enough to make a few friends during their school days, but once adulthood hits, loneliness is a constant battle. Usually having a pet (dog or cat) helps, especially if they feel therapy or drugs (prescibed by a doctor) won't help.
Yeah, you can have autism and be somewhat normal, but you tend to struggle more than other people. Sometimes it can be a personal Hell that you can never escape from, especially with the constant job changes and chronic poverty and loneliness.âšī¸
Autism by Failurebitch July 27, 2025
Mombie
A woman who's whole life revolves around her "precious kids". (Said kids usually act like demons from hell). She usually smells like she hasn't showered in 2 weeks and looks like she hasn't slept in days. Her conversations revolve around the hellspawn she calls her kids, her baby-daddy hasn't touched her since she conceived her last child,and she gets VERY pissed off when you say you're never going to have kids, calling you "selfish" and "lazy". Clearly ignoring that you are already struggling to get by because you work a minimum wage job and don't have a romantic partner or roommate to help with your cost of living.
Ugh, Karen is such a mombie. Her kids are literal demons, she got pissed off because I said I want a hysterectomy, and I'm pretty sure I saw her husband going into a hotel room with a prostitute and A LOT of cocaine.
Mombie by Failurebitch July 14, 2025
Breeder
Someone who's so fucking miserable from seeing child-free people enjoying having clean homes, stuff that isn't broken, and being able to travel that they insist that child-free people have kids just so the people who don't want kids can be miserable too.
Common things a breeder will say to a child-free person:
"You're being selfish"
"You'll change your mind"
"You're immature"
"You won't know true love until you have a baby"
"Motherhood/fatherhood is so rewarding"
"You're wasting your life"
"You'll regret not having a baby"
"You're lazy"
"Who will take care of you when you're old?"
"You're gonna die alone"
Common things a breeder will say to a child-free person:
"You're being selfish"
"You'll change your mind"
"You're immature"
"You won't know true love until you have a baby"
"Motherhood/fatherhood is so rewarding"
"You're wasting your life"
"You'll regret not having a baby"
"You're lazy"
"Who will take care of you when you're old?"
"You're gonna die alone"
Every child-free person will encounter a breeder sooner or later. Whether it be a family member, friend, romantic partner, or even your doctor (OBGYNs are NOTORIOUS for trying to get their patients to have babies since they make a lot money off of pregnant patients and less from patients who want to be sterilized!). Remind the breeders that your life choices have no impact on your life, and that they're an asshole for being so rude to you.
Breeder by Failurebitch July 14, 2025
Tiny Dick Syndrome
Symptoms:
A small dick
Driving a super loud jacked up truck with headlights that turn night into day for over a mile
Idolizing misogynistic pigs that hit/rape/pimp out their girlfriends/wives
Normal voice volume is nearly a yell
Riding people's bumpers on the road, even when they are going 5mph over the speed limit (so feeling the need to go 10 mph+ OVER the speed limit despite not having an emergency or running late)
Sexually harassing women/not understanding that no means no
Watching porn 24/7
Narcissism
Either shutting down or becoming verbally/physically aggressive when criticized/repremanded (not stemming from childhood trauma/abuse)
Lying about how many women he's fucked (seriously, nobody wants/needs to know)
A small dick
Driving a super loud jacked up truck with headlights that turn night into day for over a mile
Idolizing misogynistic pigs that hit/rape/pimp out their girlfriends/wives
Normal voice volume is nearly a yell
Riding people's bumpers on the road, even when they are going 5mph over the speed limit (so feeling the need to go 10 mph+ OVER the speed limit despite not having an emergency or running late)
Sexually harassing women/not understanding that no means no
Watching porn 24/7
Narcissism
Either shutting down or becoming verbally/physically aggressive when criticized/repremanded (not stemming from childhood trauma/abuse)
Lying about how many women he's fucked (seriously, nobody wants/needs to know)
Tiny Dick Syndrome by Failurebitch June 25, 2025
Snowflake
Someone who's either super far left or super far right on the political spectrum who can't respect someone's opinions or take a joke.
How to spot a far left snowflake:
Ususally a white female with neon colored hair, is super fat, has a "Coexist" sticker on their car (when they would literally wish death on you for being pro-life or even the tiniest bit religious), smells like cat piss or sewage, wears tacky clothes, needs a literal cry room, has a victim complex, has no concept of how the world works,and commonly found on an American college campus protesting something nobody cares about instead of going to class.
How to spot a far right snowflake:
Usually a white male with a Nazi swastika tattooed on his arm, bald, either super muscular or super fat, drives a jacked up truck with bright ass headlights (tends to ride your bumper if you're going the speed limit because if he doesn't go 75 mph+ his dick is going to fall off, and he will blind you with the headlights), idolizes misogynistic assholes, abuses his family (wife, kids, and pets), and has tiny dick syndrome.
How to spot a far left snowflake:
Ususally a white female with neon colored hair, is super fat, has a "Coexist" sticker on their car (when they would literally wish death on you for being pro-life or even the tiniest bit religious), smells like cat piss or sewage, wears tacky clothes, needs a literal cry room, has a victim complex, has no concept of how the world works,and commonly found on an American college campus protesting something nobody cares about instead of going to class.
How to spot a far right snowflake:
Usually a white male with a Nazi swastika tattooed on his arm, bald, either super muscular or super fat, drives a jacked up truck with bright ass headlights (tends to ride your bumper if you're going the speed limit because if he doesn't go 75 mph+ his dick is going to fall off, and he will blind you with the headlights), idolizes misogynistic assholes, abuses his family (wife, kids, and pets), and has tiny dick syndrome.
Scenario one-
Me: Ugh, misogyny is disgusting.
Far-right snowflake: Shut up you stupid bitch, make me a sandwich
Me: Leave me alone you fucking snowflake, get your own damn sandwich and take your tiny dick syndrome elsewhere
Far-right snowflake: (Tries to hit me).
Me: (Dodges and kicks the snowflake in his tiny dick)
Far-right snowflake: (Screams like a little girl)
Me: Don't try to lay your hands on a woman unless you want her foot to give you a free vasectomy. Fucking asshole!
Scenario two:
Me: How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Couldn't tell you, they'd just sit in the dark complaining about how it's somehow a man's fault the light is broken!
Far-left snowflake: You're rude and insensitive! How can you say such a thing as a woman?
Me: Because I have a sense of humor and don't sympathize with women who go out of their way to put men down just because they exist. When was the last time you sat down with a man and just talked about a topic that interested both of you?
Far-left snowflake: I don't remember.
Me: Exactly. If you weren't such a snowflake, maybe you wouldn't alienate the men like your dad who actually do care about you.
Far-left snowflake: My dad left when my mom was pregnant with me. I have a brother, but I haven't seen or spoken to him in years because he's a man.
Me: See? Maybe try giving him a call and reconciling.
Me: Ugh, misogyny is disgusting.
Far-right snowflake: Shut up you stupid bitch, make me a sandwich
Me: Leave me alone you fucking snowflake, get your own damn sandwich and take your tiny dick syndrome elsewhere
Far-right snowflake: (Tries to hit me).
Me: (Dodges and kicks the snowflake in his tiny dick)
Far-right snowflake: (Screams like a little girl)
Me: Don't try to lay your hands on a woman unless you want her foot to give you a free vasectomy. Fucking asshole!
Scenario two:
Me: How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Couldn't tell you, they'd just sit in the dark complaining about how it's somehow a man's fault the light is broken!
Far-left snowflake: You're rude and insensitive! How can you say such a thing as a woman?
Me: Because I have a sense of humor and don't sympathize with women who go out of their way to put men down just because they exist. When was the last time you sat down with a man and just talked about a topic that interested both of you?
Far-left snowflake: I don't remember.
Me: Exactly. If you weren't such a snowflake, maybe you wouldn't alienate the men like your dad who actually do care about you.
Far-left snowflake: My dad left when my mom was pregnant with me. I have a brother, but I haven't seen or spoken to him in years because he's a man.
Me: See? Maybe try giving him a call and reconciling.
Snowflake by Failurebitch June 25, 2025
DEI
For companies, they want DEI because they think it makes them look good and "inclusive", but in reality they're choosing inexperienced/undereducated employees instead of people who actually know what the fuck they're doing. Choosing someone who knows what they're doing, whether they have unique personal traits or not can save a life. DEI put people in danger and led to skilled workers being either underemployed/unemployed/settling for customer service out of deperation.
In Phineas and Ferb, DEI means: Doofenshmirtz's Evil Incorporated, which has nothing to do with hiring standards, it's just a catchy name/jingle.
In Phineas and Ferb, DEI means: Doofenshmirtz's Evil Incorporated, which has nothing to do with hiring standards, it's just a catchy name/jingle.
DEI by Failurebitch June 4, 2025
Afroman
The FUNNIEST rapper to ever exist. He would shoot the shit with you while he smokes a joint and you sip on whatever alcoholic beverage you like if getting high isn't your thing.
If I met Afroman in real life, I'd give him a high five and direct him to the nearest weed dispensery. I don't smoke weed since I've never understood the hype behind drugs, but I'm sure Afroman would appreciate knowing where he can get some weed.
Afroman by Failurebitch June 4, 2025