Failurebitch's definitions
The worst writer in the history of the world. Known for her shitty Twilight series, her books make me sick. If you're thinking about reading Twilight, don't. It's all about some weak ass slut who's afraid of her own shadow who is also anorexic and falls in love with a "vampire". He's really just some stupid fuck who wears body glitter to be more attractive, but makes him look gay and climbs trees. Both Bella and Edward combined have the intelligence of a jellyfish (meaning that both of them have no brains). All they like to do is have sex with each other. So Stephanie Meyer is a really bad writer who can't take criticism.
Damn, I really want to send Stephanie Meyer some negative feedback.
I'm on team Dracula if anything.
I'm on team Dracula if anything.
by Failurebitch January 7, 2019
Get the Stephanie Meyer mug.A red alcoholic drink made from fermented fruit juice. It looks a lot like blood. Generally made from grapes and cherries.
Man, the first day of the zombie apocalypse, i got so fucking wasted by drinking a whole bottle of red wine and 3 shots of cherry vodka. I used the wine bottle to mercy 5 zombies while i was still drunk as Hell. Is that badass or what?
by Failurebitch January 29, 2019
Get the red wine mug.The shittiest day of the year for me. People say that I'm beautiful all the time but how can I be so beautiful and single at the same time? Do people just say that I'm pretty to make me feel better about myself? I've been single my whole life (elementary school relationships don't count). This is a day where single girls like me feel ugly for not having a boyfriend. It's a day of mourning my loneliness and the death of my cousin. I'm making it my tradition to go up to my room and cry on this day because of how horrible I feel.
Valentine's Day fucking sucks. My cousin died on that day in 2016 and many others in 2018. I'm making it a tradition to cry in my room alone every year that I'm single. Fuck Valentine's Day! Cupid is an inaccurate bastard! Cupid can suck my non-existent dick.
by Failurebitch February 1, 2019
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A woman who only lets her kids listen to educational music and causes traffic jams at the local elementary school because they want to make sure their "perfect children" don't get hurt or killed while walking 10 feet to get to the door. Her kids are spoiled brats and act like the little shits they are in public. Soccer moms generally don't have a job, bleach their hair, and drive luxury mini vans. They're referred to as trophy wives as they wear tons of makeup and get their hair bleached once a week to make regular moms like mine feel bad. They don't let their kids use the internet because it's "violent" and "sexual", the kids can only watch PG and G rated movies, and play Minecraft for a video game.
Me: *Listening to Nicki Minaj
Soccer Mom: TURN THAT OFF, MY PRECIOUS BABY DOESN'T NEED TO HERE THAT!!
Me: *Turns it up
Soccer Mom: If you don't turn that off, I'm calling the police
Me: Bitch, shut the fuck up ya nigga!
Soccer Mom: TURN THAT OFF, MY PRECIOUS BABY DOESN'T NEED TO HERE THAT!!
Me: *Turns it up
Soccer Mom: If you don't turn that off, I'm calling the police
Me: Bitch, shut the fuck up ya nigga!
by Failurebitch May 29, 2018
Get the Soccer Mom mug.A rich girl who wears designer outfits and fucks all the boys on every sports team at the school, fucking a different one every night. She usually bullies girls like me because I'm pale and dress in black most of the time. She's minipulitive, spoiled, mean, rude, and a terrible excuse for a human being. She's generally the main cause for female suicide, drug abuse, or alcohol addiction at her school. I'm lucky nobody at my school is like this. She also spreads lies about people she doesn't like, wears TOO MUCH makeup, gets plastic surgery/ Botox done every week to keep herself looking like a living Barbie while the rest of the girls look real, and she'll also bleach her hair and go to the tanning salon.
Me: (minding my own business)
Bitch: OMG, look at her, total fashion failure!
Me: (wearing more clothes than her) Have you looked in the mirror lately, because you look like a Cheeto with hardly any clothes on.
Bitch: You're wearing all that because you're fat.
Me: I'll have you know that I'm actually very slim and can kick your fucking bitch ass into next week you whore!
Bitch: HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT! (slaps me)
Me: (stands up from sitting on the bench, punches her plastic surgened nose, breaking it, then kicks her chest, popping one of the breast implants)
Bitch: (attempts to punch me, tears streaming down her face, blood oozing from fake nose)
Me: (grabs fist, puts her in straight arm bar and breaks arm)
Bitch: ( screams in pain)
then the principle calls our parents, her parents file lawsuit, my parents praise me for self defense then proceed to win lawsuit.
Bitch: OMG, look at her, total fashion failure!
Me: (wearing more clothes than her) Have you looked in the mirror lately, because you look like a Cheeto with hardly any clothes on.
Bitch: You're wearing all that because you're fat.
Me: I'll have you know that I'm actually very slim and can kick your fucking bitch ass into next week you whore!
Bitch: HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT! (slaps me)
Me: (stands up from sitting on the bench, punches her plastic surgened nose, breaking it, then kicks her chest, popping one of the breast implants)
Bitch: (attempts to punch me, tears streaming down her face, blood oozing from fake nose)
Me: (grabs fist, puts her in straight arm bar and breaks arm)
Bitch: ( screams in pain)
then the principle calls our parents, her parents file lawsuit, my parents praise me for self defense then proceed to win lawsuit.
by Failurebitch May 30, 2018
Get the bitch mug.One of the most dank memes out there. He's used for awkward situations such as when you get caught passing notes in class or when a school shooter finds you hiding in the bathroom.
by Failurebitch December 15, 2017
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