A former US Navy officer who loves watching TV. He often sits with a remote in his hand, patting the sofa as if it were a ship. The most famous Sofa Captain is Captain Earl Pickles, USN Ret.
Earl: Hey Nelson, you want to sit here with your favorite Sofa Captain? I think 'The Flintstones' is on.
Nelson: You are a such a goof! Of course I'll sit there with you.
Earl: (like a sea captain) Aye aye! Clear sailing ahead, matey!
Nelson: (like a sea captain) Arrgh, the goodship Flintstones dead ahead!
Opal: Anybody want some brownies and milk? Sofa Captains needs their snacks, you know!
Nelson: You are a such a goof! Of course I'll sit there with you.
Earl: (like a sea captain) Aye aye! Clear sailing ahead, matey!
Nelson: (like a sea captain) Arrgh, the goodship Flintstones dead ahead!
Opal: Anybody want some brownies and milk? Sofa Captains needs their snacks, you know!
by Dusty's Baby Powder January 21, 2011
A dinosaur that looks very similar to a T Rex but also has Opal Crankshaft's head. Its also known as the Opalsaurs Rex, or simply the O Rex. They often wear sneakers and always have glasses. Unlike T Rexes, the O Rex is cute and cuddly. She loves hugging on her grandchildren.
Nelson: Hey Roscoe, let's read my dinosaur book. I bet you're going to love it. There are some cute dinosaurs in here.
Roscoe: (barking at Nelson) Woof. This is going to be fun! I bet we'll see an Opalsaurus.
Nelson: Ok. (He begins to read)
Opal: (Warm California Sun playing on her headphones) Here comes the Opalsaurus! Look out now! She's coming to get you! (singing) She's out here having fun in that warm Jurassic sun! ROAR!
Nelson: (screaming, making Roscoe jump) Why did you do that? You scared me!
Opal: Sorry, honey. I was only doing my aerobics, pretending to be a dinosaur. You know, the O Rex wouldn't hurt you! I'm your grandma for crying out loud.
Nelson: (laughing) Weird. I never knew you you would make a good dinosaur.
Opal: There's tons of grandma dinosaurs. The Opalsaurus is just one of them. And they love their grandkids!! You know what time it is now? How about if old O Rex gives you a rub down. You know, a massage? How would that be?
Nelson: Great! You sure make a great dinosaur! If you're the O Rex, I'm the Nelsonasaurus.
Opal: Well, ok, let's get to work! (starts singing again) We'll be out here having fun, in this warm Sparks, Nevada sun! (saying it twice).
Roscoe: (barking at Nelson) Woof. This is going to be fun! I bet we'll see an Opalsaurus.
Nelson: Ok. (He begins to read)
Opal: (Warm California Sun playing on her headphones) Here comes the Opalsaurus! Look out now! She's coming to get you! (singing) She's out here having fun in that warm Jurassic sun! ROAR!
Nelson: (screaming, making Roscoe jump) Why did you do that? You scared me!
Opal: Sorry, honey. I was only doing my aerobics, pretending to be a dinosaur. You know, the O Rex wouldn't hurt you! I'm your grandma for crying out loud.
Nelson: (laughing) Weird. I never knew you you would make a good dinosaur.
Opal: There's tons of grandma dinosaurs. The Opalsaurus is just one of them. And they love their grandkids!! You know what time it is now? How about if old O Rex gives you a rub down. You know, a massage? How would that be?
Nelson: Great! You sure make a great dinosaur! If you're the O Rex, I'm the Nelsonasaurus.
Opal: Well, ok, let's get to work! (starts singing again) We'll be out here having fun, in this warm Sparks, Nevada sun! (saying it twice).
by Dusty's Baby Powder April 02, 2011
The surgical removal of stress. Often done in a doctor's office or at home. Can be anything, but most often refers to massaging and stretching. The word literally means "removal of relaxation". The first relaxectomy was done by Hec Hanley on Beatrice Middleton. This is a nice way to relieve stress and is best if done before bed. So if you're tired or stressed out don't go to any yoga or tai chi classes. Go for a relaxectomy - they are so cool.
Beatrice: Oh no, I'm so stressed out. I need a relaxectomy.
Hec: Well, no problem. We can get our relax on right here, right now. Have we got any Martian Mud?
Beatrice: I see where this is going. You're thinking of giving me a full body rub down, aren't you?
Hec: Yeah, we got the Martian Mud here alright. Hold still, now. (He starts rubbing Beatrice with the Martian Mud) There you go! Now, isn't that creamy?
Beatrice: Yes! That is really creamy. What else can we do?
Hec: We're both still a little bit stressed. How about some warm up stretches? (they do a Hanley Hula) Now, that's nice, isn't it? Don't you feel loose?
Beatrice: Not just loose - limber! Just look at that swing! Now, a Gunny Granny knows what she's talking about. Remember my creed, "A Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do!"
Hec: This is a relaxectomy. The world's only stress surgery. Pretty sweet, huh?`
Hec: Well, no problem. We can get our relax on right here, right now. Have we got any Martian Mud?
Beatrice: I see where this is going. You're thinking of giving me a full body rub down, aren't you?
Hec: Yeah, we got the Martian Mud here alright. Hold still, now. (He starts rubbing Beatrice with the Martian Mud) There you go! Now, isn't that creamy?
Beatrice: Yes! That is really creamy. What else can we do?
Hec: We're both still a little bit stressed. How about some warm up stretches? (they do a Hanley Hula) Now, that's nice, isn't it? Don't you feel loose?
Beatrice: Not just loose - limber! Just look at that swing! Now, a Gunny Granny knows what she's talking about. Remember my creed, "A Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do!"
Hec: This is a relaxectomy. The world's only stress surgery. Pretty sweet, huh?`
by Dusty's Baby Powder July 23, 2011
A condition of going into seizures of jumping jacks. Often caused by nervousness or stress. These seizures, which are also known as 'jack attacks', are most often seen in Ralph Drabble when he gets nervous.
Ralph: (panting) One, two, one two...
Patrick: Man, Dad, you're all sweaty. Are you nervous?
Ralph: Yeah, I'm doing some Sky Jacks to calm down.
Patrick: Mind if I join you? I'm kinda stressed too.
Ralph: Sure! (like a coach) Ready, begin!
Patrick: Man, Dad, you're all sweaty. Are you nervous?
Ralph: Yeah, I'm doing some Sky Jacks to calm down.
Patrick: Mind if I join you? I'm kinda stressed too.
Ralph: Sure! (like a coach) Ready, begin!
by Dusty's Baby Powder December 17, 2010
A jail seen in every mall. Arrested shoppers can sit in here for hours at a time. June Jails are always guarded by at least security guard taking shifts. The first use of a June Jail was when June Drabble got arrested by her husband, Ralph, for eating candy that she didn't pay for. A June Jail is fun to sit in and will always be there when you're tired from shopping. So if you want a place to rest when your shopping failed, head on over to the nearest June Jail!
Ralph: I can't believe this! You stole a malt ball, honeybunch?! You're gonna have to sit in the June Jail.
June: Well, that might not be so bad. I still got me some candy!
Necky: But you didn't pay! That was just it, you didn't pay. Over against the wall! (starts searching June for candy)
Ralph: Look, I found a lava cake. Why don't we all sit in the June Jail. This is going to be fun. This is sweet! A June Jail is so much fun.
June: Yes, it sure is. But I feel like some exercise. (she starts jogging around the jail cell.)
Necky: Wait! Are you hungry? We still got some of the cake and candy.
June: No, not right now. Exercise first, then eat. You know how Ralph is. He's gotta keep his gooey going.
Ralph: (laughing) Now, all this exercise is making me tired. I'm gonna have to sit down. How do you like the June Jail?
June: It rocks! This is one of the nicest jails anybody could go to. A couple of hours in here and you'll love money. And its all thanks to my Ralphy Boy!
June: Well, that might not be so bad. I still got me some candy!
Necky: But you didn't pay! That was just it, you didn't pay. Over against the wall! (starts searching June for candy)
Ralph: Look, I found a lava cake. Why don't we all sit in the June Jail. This is going to be fun. This is sweet! A June Jail is so much fun.
June: Yes, it sure is. But I feel like some exercise. (she starts jogging around the jail cell.)
Necky: Wait! Are you hungry? We still got some of the cake and candy.
June: No, not right now. Exercise first, then eat. You know how Ralph is. He's gotta keep his gooey going.
Ralph: (laughing) Now, all this exercise is making me tired. I'm gonna have to sit down. How do you like the June Jail?
June: It rocks! This is one of the nicest jails anybody could go to. A couple of hours in here and you'll love money. And its all thanks to my Ralphy Boy!
by Dusty's Baby Powder December 13, 2011
A monster that likes certain classes taught at residential care homes. The monster often jumps up and down happily taking in all the sights and sounds. Module Monsters really like art, exercise, and various other things. Look out for the Module Monster; its coming to a care home near you!
Brad: Hey Beatrice, how's it going?
Beatrice: Hey, aren't you Brad Hammers? I've heard a lot about you.
Brad: Well, I've heard an awful lot about Bryant's Gunny Granny. Pleasure to meet you!
Beatrice: Oh, he told you? Do you know my creed?
Brad: Yes, but I'd love to hear you say.
Beatrice: A Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do.
Bryant: Hey guys, what's going on? Is it time for the modules class yet?
Brad: Just about time there, Module Monster!
Beatrice: What on Earth is a Module Monster? I never saw it.
Bryant: A Module Monster is a monster that likes module classes. It likes to do all sorts of fun stuff.
Beatrice: Cool! Any monster friend of yours is a friend of mine.
Brad: Bryant is a huge Module Monster and my go-to-guy. He's gonna help me introduce Qigong to everyone.
Master Ken: Yeah, Qigong is beautiful. They'd really like it. You'll make a great teacher!
Bryant: Module Monsters! Fun stuff forever!
Beatrice: Hey, aren't you Brad Hammers? I've heard a lot about you.
Brad: Well, I've heard an awful lot about Bryant's Gunny Granny. Pleasure to meet you!
Beatrice: Oh, he told you? Do you know my creed?
Brad: Yes, but I'd love to hear you say.
Beatrice: A Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do.
Bryant: Hey guys, what's going on? Is it time for the modules class yet?
Brad: Just about time there, Module Monster!
Beatrice: What on Earth is a Module Monster? I never saw it.
Bryant: A Module Monster is a monster that likes module classes. It likes to do all sorts of fun stuff.
Beatrice: Cool! Any monster friend of yours is a friend of mine.
Brad: Bryant is a huge Module Monster and my go-to-guy. He's gonna help me introduce Qigong to everyone.
Master Ken: Yeah, Qigong is beautiful. They'd really like it. You'll make a great teacher!
Bryant: Module Monsters! Fun stuff forever!
by Dusty's Baby Powder December 19, 2011
A pterodactyl-like dinosaur that looks much like Ralph Drabble. Often flies around the house with sweatpants on its legs and tennis shoes on its feet. While capable of flight, the Ralphorynchus can also walk. It is often accompanied by its wife dinosaur, the Juneorynchus, who chases it if it makes fun of her exercise. As in the July 6, 2010 'Drabble'.
The Ralphorynchus: Hey honeybunch, great workout! You might wanna try a few sit ups too.
The Juneorynchus: (Screeches) You crazy dino-bird!! We don't have much abs, how can we do sit ups? We get enough on them just flying around.
The Ralphorynchus: You are so crazy! Maybe I should do all this while you eat! The human Drabbles did it the other way around. The human Ralph Drabble while the human June was working out.
The Juneorynchus: (lets out a high pitched screech) This is for your own good. Give me 20 laps around this house! And I don't mean flying! You better start jogging, boy!
The Ralphorynchus: I should thank her. Now she's got me jog-flying!
The Juneorynchus: (Screeches) You crazy dino-bird!! We don't have much abs, how can we do sit ups? We get enough on them just flying around.
The Ralphorynchus: You are so crazy! Maybe I should do all this while you eat! The human Drabbles did it the other way around. The human Ralph Drabble while the human June was working out.
The Juneorynchus: (lets out a high pitched screech) This is for your own good. Give me 20 laps around this house! And I don't mean flying! You better start jogging, boy!
The Ralphorynchus: I should thank her. Now she's got me jog-flying!
by Dusty's Baby Powder April 03, 2011