uptard
verb- the act of making something worse in an inept attempt to make it better, usually by adding unnecessary, useless, and/or ridiculous elements
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uptard
(тормоз по русски, if anyone reads Russian here):
a person who is neither retarded nor mentally challenged nor eccentric, but in their normal state (i.e without being UTI) is still slow on the uptake.
a person who is neither retarded nor mentally challenged nor eccentric, but in their normal state (i.e without being UTI) is still slow on the uptake.
boy: Melissa, when is your birthday again?
girl: my name is not Melissa, it's Melanie, and are you lol an uptard? I know you are normal because you get amazing grades in chemistry and physics. my birthday, for the last time, is March 15, but you always give me flowers on March 9.
boy: I am not an uptard. Due to family tradition, i can't possibly give a girl flowers on The Ides of March, even if it's her birthday.
Melanie: are you telling me your limo is triple parked?
boy: no.
girl: my name is not Melissa, it's Melanie, and are you lol an uptard? I know you are normal because you get amazing grades in chemistry and physics. my birthday, for the last time, is March 15, but you always give me flowers on March 9.
boy: I am not an uptard. Due to family tradition, i can't possibly give a girl flowers on The Ides of March, even if it's her birthday.
Melanie: are you telling me your limo is triple parked?
boy: no.
uptard by Uncle Dimma February 16, 2013
uptard
(тормоз по русски)
a person who is neither retarded nor mentally challenged nor eccentric, but in their normal state (i.e without being UTI) is still slow on the uptake.
a person who is neither retarded nor mentally challenged nor eccentric, but in their normal state (i.e without being UTI) is still slow on the uptake.
boy: Melissa, when is your birthday again?
girl: my name is not Melissa, it's Melanie, and are you lol an uptard? I know you are normal because you get amazing grades in chemistry and physics. my birthday, for the last time, is March 15, but you always give me flowers on March 9.
boy: I am not an uptard. both of the things you mentioned are correct; however, I have two cousins, identical twins, one named Melissa, the other Melanie, and you look like an older version of them. Numero Dos due to family tradition, i can't possibly give a girl flowers on The Ides of March, even if it's her birthday.
Melanie: are you telling me your limo is triple parked?
boy: no.
girl: my name is not Melissa, it's Melanie, and are you lol an uptard? I know you are normal because you get amazing grades in chemistry and physics. my birthday, for the last time, is March 15, but you always give me flowers on March 9.
boy: I am not an uptard. both of the things you mentioned are correct; however, I have two cousins, identical twins, one named Melissa, the other Melanie, and you look like an older version of them. Numero Dos due to family tradition, i can't possibly give a girl flowers on The Ides of March, even if it's her birthday.
Melanie: are you telling me your limo is triple parked?
boy: no.
uptard by Uncle Dimma December 31, 2012
fail upwards
"She's never had a job for more than two years without geting canned and now she's a VP. I've never seen anyone fail upwards better than she does."
fail upwards by Eggsocket July 9, 2009
upturd
when you hold back an impending crap long and hard enough that it actually creeps back upwards, buying you a little more time before either making it to a bathroom or shitting your pants