When something malfunctions by virtue of not existing at all. Taken (but not precisely) from "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". In the original usage, a spaceship existed for a while and then spontaneously disappeared.
Bob: Can I borrow your car?
Bill: Nope. Sorry. It's having a total existence failure.
In swimming, when one dives into the pool when starting a race and his or her goggles immediately completely fill up with water or fall off, usually ending up somewhere part way down the person's face.
Brian: "Damn, dude. What happened during that race? You're time was freaking slow."
Tom: "I experienced total gogular failure and couldn't see shit."
church hurt is where you experience a degree of distance, pain, or judgement from your church community. Essentially, you are just unable to “find your place”. This is prevalent in the Christian community, but can be extended to other religions.
Now that I am an adult I am beginning to heal from the church hurt that was inflicted on me as a child.
when you're holding up your phone and making faces at it, as though you are taking a selfie, but you're really taking a picture of the person across from you or the wall or anything else that seems interesting but you don't want to be caught dead taking a picture of.
This action is often made more convincing by wiggling the eyebrows or opening the mouth, to pretend you're trying to get a Snapchat filter to work.