27 definitions by Al Benedict

1
Driving a car with a small child in your lap. In the event of an accident, the child's body will help protect you from injury by cushioning the blow between yourself and the steering wheel.
Bob: Should you be talking on your cellphone while you're driving?
Bill: Relax, I'm Airbagging with the kid. Even if I hit something, I'll be fine.
by Al Benedict April 15, 2008
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2
1) A hard piece of shit that is starting to emerge from between your cheeks before you get to the toilet.

2) A notoriously bad, self indulgent film by Vincent Gallo.
Bob: (Bangs on stall door) "Hurry up! I've got a Brown Bunny here!"
Bill: "OK, OK" (Leaves stall)
Bob: "Thanks!" (Grabs cans of film and rushes in. Seconds later, a flushing sound is heard)
Bob: "Ahhh... That's much better." (Emerges with now empty film cans).
by Al Benedict August 18, 2009
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3
A phrase used by someone who wants any critical analysis of what they are saying to stop immediately.
"Global warming can't exist because it was cold last winter. That's just common sense."
by Al Benedict June 11, 2009
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4
Internet speak for "Oh shit. I just lost the argument."
Bob: So that's why your argument makes no sense.
Bill: <yawn> Whatever, dude.
Bob: Victory is mine.
by Al Benedict June 21, 2012
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5
A shibboleth that people that believe that the English language should be static use to find each other.

Kind of like a secret fraternity handshake.
Q: "What is the correct way to say a word is not spelled properly?"

A: "Oh god. You're one of those 'misspelt' dumbasses, aren't you? Shoo! The thumbs down button is up and to the right."
by Al Benedict August 17, 2011
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6
The only concession to safety that a motorcycle needs. Time was, you were expected to wear visible clothing and a helmet and drive predictably. Now it's OK to dress completely in black (no helmet) and pop in and out of lanes at will. As long as you have really loud, low pitched, non-directional exhaust noise.

Loud pipes endanger lives.
"Boy, these loud pipes rock. Everybody takes their eyes off the road to figure out where the hell the racket is coming from and get into massive pileups. Then I just drive around the mess."
by Al Benedict June 04, 2013
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7
A bruise that consists of an inner white circle (dead skin) surrounded by a blue ring (regular bruise) surrounded by a red ring (pissed off capillaries).

Red, white and blue. Get it?

A badge of honor in close contact, high velocity sports like Racquetball.
"I got a patriot bruise on my calf playing Ralph last weekend".
"Holy crap. So you did."
by Al Benedict October 18, 2020
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