29 definitions by Al Benedict
A bruise that consists of an inner white circle (dead skin) surrounded by a blue ring (regular bruise) surrounded by a red ring (pissed off capillaries).
Red, white and blue. Get it?
A badge of honor in close contact, high velocity sports like Racquetball.
Red, white and blue. Get it?
A badge of honor in close contact, high velocity sports like Racquetball.
by Al Benedict October 18, 2020
In theory, any form of Rock and Roll that requires a prefix to add focus: Emo Rock, Folk Rock, Punk Rock etc. In practice, a term used to describe a form of rock music that the speaker doesn't consider "authentic".
by Al Benedict April 4, 2008
by Al Benedict June 21, 2012
Resort to extreme measures. A metaphor for putting aside conventional weapons and using nuclear ones.
"They aren't taking the hint? OK, time to bring the nuke and tell them to cut it out or we'll drag them off the premises."
by Al Benedict January 15, 2022
Setting up your house to ward off long term ninja infestations. It's considered impossible to keep ninjas out entirely. In fact, attempting to do so can attract their attention and just make the problem worse.
1) Coat the walls and ceilings with steel backed teflon. If the steel isn't thick enough, they can still use their claws. Make sure it's at least a 1/4 inch thick.
2) Install random rotating magnets. This makes it difficult to throw shurikens accurately.
3) Set up a DVD of old "Kung Fu" reruns in infinite reply. Warning: This may cause Seppuku incidents, which are really messy. Take my word on it. Spread plastic in front of the TV.
Avoid using pirates. I know it's tempting, but they're worse than ninjas (really loud and smelly and treasure chests are hard to find).
1) Coat the walls and ceilings with steel backed teflon. If the steel isn't thick enough, they can still use their claws. Make sure it's at least a 1/4 inch thick.
2) Install random rotating magnets. This makes it difficult to throw shurikens accurately.
3) Set up a DVD of old "Kung Fu" reruns in infinite reply. Warning: This may cause Seppuku incidents, which are really messy. Take my word on it. Spread plastic in front of the TV.
Avoid using pirates. I know it's tempting, but they're worse than ninjas (really loud and smelly and treasure chests are hard to find).
by Al Benedict December 2, 2010
Glib way of saying "There is a high probability that..." It doesn't make too much sense if you think about the way gambling odds work, but I didn't create it; I just report it.
Dimes will get you dollars that his car will break down before he gets there.
Dimes will get you dollars that she doesn't really want to change jobs.
Dimes will get you dollars that she doesn't really want to change jobs.
by Al Benedict June 30, 2021
Derogatory term for someone politically far to either the right or left. Implies an unwillingness to evaluate issues one at a time.
If there's one thing wingers can unite around, it's their hatred of moderates.
I'm anti rent control, pro gun control, pro abortion and think welfare should be tightened. Something for every winger to hate on.
I'm anti rent control, pro gun control, pro abortion and think welfare should be tightened. Something for every winger to hate on.
by Al Benedict July 2, 2024