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I'm either about to toot or shoot

This expression would be used by someone who has a degree of uncertainty about whether they have an urge to fart or whether he or she might actually shart or fully shit themselves.
I'm either about to toot or shoot right now, shall I risk it anyway?

I just finished my second bowl of nachos and I can't tell if I'm about to toot or shoot.

Shoot my toot

Shoot my toot I tripped and broke my nose

toot & scoot 

This is the act of passing gas in public and quickly walking away so you don't get blamed for the offense.
"Hey man- I had burritos for lunch and had to pull a toot & scoot at the grocery store."
toot & scoot by habbie May 12, 2009

toot and scoot 

The act of farting (typically an SBD) and then running away as fast as you can to dispel any belief that it was your fart.

Very common in public areas such as subways and stores, and at social gatherings.
After Alan emitted quite a pungent SBD, he quickly made his way to the other side of the room, pulling a classic toot and scoot, before anyone could realize what he'd done.
toot and scoot by bigmastaJ December 15, 2010

Toot ‘n’ scoot

When you place your butt on your sex partners chest, release the shit inside of it then scoot down there torso smearing it in. Once you have reached your partners stomach you bounce up and down until they either throw up, shit them selves, or die.
Jessie was being bad so I gave her the old toot ‘n’ scoot
Toot ‘n’ scoot by QOP69 April 20, 2021

San Francisco Toot and Scoot

Right after fucking a chick, fart in her face and then escape on your scooter in a haze of ass vapour
Bro 1: Bro, 30 seconds after I nutted in Latoya’s snatch last night in the Bay Area I gave her the San Francisco Toot and Scoot

Bro 2: Bro what’s that?

Bro 1: I pumped her face full of my ass and then I dipped on my scooter