tardiddle is the act of taking a fat stinking crap on someone's infant. it is usually performed in front of a large crowd of people and the favored spot for someone to commit tardiddle is on the babyforehead.
person: oh, what a lovely baby you have, so adorable.
Mother: thank you, he's 16 months old.
Person: can I tardiddle on him?
Mother: oh of course.
Person: SHITS AGGRESSIVELY ON BABY'S HEAD!
Fogey/fogy /fougi/ sl. (early 18C+, orig. Scot) old-fashioned, stuck-in-the mud.
Person with old fashioned ideas which he is unwilling to change: Come to the disco and stop being such an old fogey!
You think me an old fogeyand an old tory, his thoughtful voice said. I saw three generations since O’Connel’s time. I remember the famine. Do you know that the orange lodges agitated for repeal of the union twenty years before O’Connel did or before the prelates of your communion denounced him as a demagogue? You fenians forget some things. (James Joyce, Ulysses. PenguinBooks,1992. p. 38)